tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79339297587754796052024-02-19T18:22:10.789+13:00She Is Exploring!CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-24111021494299106512011-08-19T22:37:00.001+12:002011-08-19T22:37:40.822+12:00healing...Looking through new eyes
<br />
<br />Replacing themselves
<br />
<br />In heart and mind
<br />
<br />Treat your body more gently
<br />
<br />Nourish it
<br />
<br />Love it
<br />
<br />Thanks be to all that is
<br />
<br />For providing such dynamic
<br />
<br />That I can experience
<br />
<br />So much beauty
<br />
<br />And still be puzzled by its complexity
<br />
<br />Awaken, sweet child
<br />
<br />For this world is your playground
<br />
<br />Play differently now
<br />
<br />Sleep soundCuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-50292150906767932322011-06-05T15:56:00.007+12:002011-06-05T16:31:41.030+12:00fingerknitting... is an amazing techique taught to me by a very wonderful English lady named Frenchy. It's so much faster and more fun than knitting with needles and I have managed to create some beautiful wooly warmers...<br /><br />I spent almost the last of my dwindling finances on a heap of beautiful natural undyed New Zealand wool and set to making some funky fingerknitted warmies. Here's a few sample pics: <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAumtxx-hMqfgB5SHah28DkAv9laPNq7KVIA7Wfd9TP644H3acijgn4W8yJTfGm8g2sddHTEMwRZXduj4lEiaS-9fuONRmiEFASb-HkDYzgv8pgYd8sk9SEik_XkxFoYS5p7fuoRzGKQ/s1600/DSCN5868.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAumtxx-hMqfgB5SHah28DkAv9laPNq7KVIA7Wfd9TP644H3acijgn4W8yJTfGm8g2sddHTEMwRZXduj4lEiaS-9fuONRmiEFASb-HkDYzgv8pgYd8sk9SEik_XkxFoYS5p7fuoRzGKQ/s200/DSCN5868.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5614585696993227810" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzlAws40MhWUXysVlDL1N9U3nobjd4FmI1Syzl_79WCubpGiKKINvleMT8NiVEq0rWNd5A9FV-sgZHPFw1NTy-jNrkBcR-T9ZfNqTHxHIh_A1jNg7FT6myy5XiWse2x3RojAqNNewGkw/s1600/DSCN5884.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzlAws40MhWUXysVlDL1N9U3nobjd4FmI1Syzl_79WCubpGiKKINvleMT8NiVEq0rWNd5A9FV-sgZHPFw1NTy-jNrkBcR-T9ZfNqTHxHIh_A1jNg7FT6myy5XiWse2x3RojAqNNewGkw/s200/DSCN5884.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5614585689419862530" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzwR-nJzTYmTWSF6oWPq9yeo-cihi4Lt1C6mFkhYJcpfTC8Kdc1Ya8wIp0h3be4zhQuz6DnQkjL8hs2ZjBw7defm1M5VlCFnFy7DvSRbRqaSh5fdXZlttmgFAjbzTAK1JLS-aV7oGbHg/s1600/DSCN5883.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzwR-nJzTYmTWSF6oWPq9yeo-cihi4Lt1C6mFkhYJcpfTC8Kdc1Ya8wIp0h3be4zhQuz6DnQkjL8hs2ZjBw7defm1M5VlCFnFy7DvSRbRqaSh5fdXZlttmgFAjbzTAK1JLS-aV7oGbHg/s200/DSCN5883.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5614585682793615426" /></a><br /><br /><p><br /><br /> facebook is now graced with my new page <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/CuRiouS-oNe-FiNgeRKnits/227711387240862">here</a> <br /><br /><br />..and there's more to come, I am just getting started and wanting to throw a little excitement around.<br /><br />Big love to you all as always<br />Kat xxCuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-55046223907222485932011-04-15T16:58:00.001+12:002011-04-15T17:57:13.431+12:00some kind of something but not entirelyI am so bored of my frustration<br /><br />I want a lightbulb of inspiration<br /><br />And to get back my motivation<br /><br />My excitement and joy<br /><br />My restless forward motion<br /><br />Does this have to be on my own?<br /><br />Is it possible to be in partnership and have all of this?<br /><br />Apparently I create my own reality, entirely<br /><br />Whatever I believe... Is.<br /><br />Reinforcing my feelings of unhappiness will only create more of the same<br /><br />Which way is up?<br /><br />'Maybe' seems to be the only answer to most of the questions, or at least the general outline<br /><br />I know that no-one truly knows what they're doing or where they're going<br /><br />That the only time is now<br /><br />This present moment ever flowing<br /><br />Or so they say<br /><br />And i see this truth to some extent<br /><br />But <br /><br />Empty, void, hollow<br /><br />These are the words coming to me<br /><br />If I share with you my joy<br /><br />Can you also celebrate my misery?<br /><br />Accept right now that both these states are experienced by me<br /><br />In this infinite journey of being free.CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-13671110097573184812010-10-26T17:51:00.006+13:002010-10-27T00:40:14.629+13:00It's just not making sense folks. I know a lot of people have told me time and time again that I think too much but....there is much to think about and things recently have been either confusing me or frightening me, so I am going to try and explain (just in case readers of this blog were getting deluded and maybe a little pissed off by the idea that I spend ALL of my time being ecstatically happy)...<br /><br />Things are really frustrating me such as my difficulty in finding contentment with what is such a conceivably perfect situation I find myself in right now. This means that all I am about to complain about is really not something I believe I even have the validity to do but I am going to go ahead and do it anyway, call it an experiment in moaning....<br /><br />All those 'regular' things that most westerners do with their lives and seem to find such satisfaction with, really don't do it for me as ideas of ways to be fulfilled. I can understand the appeal of marriage and children and hold masses of love for those who are prepared to go through such lifelong projects, but they are still not things I strive to make happen.<br /><br />Therefore, a rather large amount of significance that I could potentially have found for my existence, must now be filled with other things. <br /><br />Well there is plenty of stuff to do with life. Travel obviously being one of them. The endless pursuit of discovery and new experience. This is something I have only really touched on doing when you consider the size and variety of the planet. So plenty of options there.<br /><br />However, things are holding me back. I realise these are things of my own choosing, but they are things nevertheless...<br /><br />What holds me back most is the idea that I am not worthy of having such beautiful experiences without doing something to try and stop the suffering of people or nature in some way. It is actually starting to really affect me and make me think that the only way I will be able to find enjoyment is to do a SHITload more to help them / her. I am not talking about a one woman crusade, in fact I know that the changes I have made in my life in the last 2 years HAVE been working towards those principals but it just seems the more I do, the more I change and then the more I learn, the more there is TO BE DONE. Yet also there is the other idea - <br /><br />Do less, BE more.<br /><br />Everything I encounter right now confuses me. Going to the supermarket yesterday. I actually wanted to go to the organic store but forgot it was a public holiday. So i ended up spending money on frozen pizza and crisps and dip, after spending about 10 minutes trying to find a cheese that wasn't produced using milk from giant dairy farms or animal rennet (<a href="http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-rennet.htm">made from cow stomachs</a>). Which leads me to a short diversion piece:<br /><br />The New Zealand Dairy Industry...<br /><br />is responsible for a large amount of devastation to native bushland, for shit treatment of cows, for pollution of waterways and for spreading of enormous amounts of petrochemicals. It also is contributing to the destruction of rainforests in OTHER countries. Whoever thought a dairy industry in New Zealand could be responsible for the destruction of orangutans?! <br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvvLsAMsOJM&gclid=CP-QiIzg76QCFQjPbgodblTI1A">The milk advert they don't want you to see</a><br /><br />It lines the pockets of the rich businessmen and provides a substantial amount of the country's foreign export earnings. "Very important for the economy" blah blah blah - so the relatively recently appointed National Party are pushing for this to continue to expand with little concern for the harm being done to the environment or the animals. New Zealand's not so beautiful and clean and green after all. 'Green Deserts' as the dairy farms are known amongst the people, are what I spend a lot of my time surrounded by. Anyway....Fonterra, which is the multinational corporation responsible for all this shit, well clearly it takes a bit of label-reading when you're in the supermarket to ensure you avoid their products. And even then you start wondering how much of the products made by other companies use milk powder that was provided to them by Fonterra.<br /><br />Even when you are super aware of something like this it's hard to know exactly where your food has come from, unless you buy from a local or organic store. And even then I wonder about the methods of production....<br /><br />So anyway this is an example of the kind of struggles we are up against. The vast majority of people here either don't really know that much or are selectively ignorant and continue to purchase milk, ice cream, cheese and other Fonterra products. I am no saint and sometimes I too probably eat something that contains a dairy derivative produced by Fonterra or, as earlier on today, ate some ice cream that they produced. And yes i feel shit about it and I am thinking "Okay time to get more and more strict about this shit"....<br /><br />It's not just Fonterra though, it's the vast majority of things available to spend dollars on that have had some kind of negative impact somewhere along the line of their production, either to people, to animals or to the planet.<br /><br /><br />So I am existing right now in a bit of a state of existential guilt. And yes I feel worse after buying junk food products from the supermarket. I suppose I understand the selective ignorance, because it's really difficult to avoid the bullshit EVEN WHEN you spend most of your time living far from the city and hardly ever have to spend money on food!<br /><br />But what else? What other products does one buy? I have reduced my needs to a minimum. Recently I bought some new sunscreen and it was made here in Aotearoa using only natural organic ingredients, no chemicals whatsoever ("Bee Dance" - available from Piko in Chch, or email beedance@hotmail.com). Fantastic. Then onto make-up. I have gotten used to none whatsoever but it's nice to have something for those occasional times of desiring to make one's appearance a bit more 'perfection' friendly such as when one is dancing on stage at the fabulous 'Dolls House' - so yesterday I trawled the web for about 3 hours trying to find where in the city I could go to buy some natural make up / foundation that was made in this country and contained no chemicals - not just because I don't want to put them on my face, but because if it's got chemicals in then even if the product hasn't been tested on animals, chances are its ingredients have. The more aware I become the harder it is to avoid.<br /><br />Anyway I eventually found <a href="http://www.naturallyngaroma.co.nz/">this website</a> and I think it could be the only thing suitable. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.karikaas.co.nz/">Pete bulk buys butter from this small farm producing cheeses and butter in South Island</a><br /><br />I could rant more and more quite easily and I don't want to pretend to have a moral high ground over anybody, I am actually quite angry at how difficult it is. And I don't want to be angry. I understand that those corporate types don't have any notion of compassion and care, they were probably not loved as children and grew up believing that money was the most important thing to aim for in life. <br /><br />Avoiding money is one of my aims but it's impossible in the western world. I'm avoiding it a lot more than I used to, and buying very very little. I try to buy things that have been produced in an ethical way but I'm not perfect and still like to smoke and drink and sometimes eat crisps from foil packets that get thrown into landfill. etc. etc. <br /><br />Am I angry more with my own conscience for caring about this so much, or with the global corporate businesses who are working so hard to keep the economic growth happening at the expense of everything else that exists?!!<br /><br />How far apart are those two things, in fact?<br /><br />For anyone who has not yet heard or seen it, watch <a href="http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/">Zeitgeist</a> which goes a long way to explaining the current state of global society and politics. The stuff THEY don't want you to know. If you want something interesting but not quite as long then I highly recommend The Anti-Terrorist - he's got heaps of stuff on Youtube but <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEhExE62lss&feature=more_related">this vid</a>, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atxib0r5R7Y&feature=related">Part 2</a>, is the most concise run-down with - so importantly - a lasting positive, impact that I have seen. Or if you don't wanna youtube you can read the transcript <a href="http://theantiterrorist.co.uk/WP_transcripts/Playing_to_Win.pdf">here</a><br /><br />I'm not really too sure how to end this post. It's actually made me feel a bit better somehow, I suppose maybe it's a duty to share some informatiuon and contribute to the waking up of people. I generally do a good job in raising the spirits and this is kind of the opposite but it's important to inform as well as enlighten. <br /><br />But then if you got all the way through to the end of the Anti Terrorist's 2 vids above you'd be feeling a bit of a different perspective right? I really like that guy....<br /><br />Love love loveCuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-21809504537595053192010-09-21T01:17:00.008+12:002010-10-26T17:40:25.932+13:00wobbles..."One day soon we'll all be gone<br />and the Earth will smile as she carries on<br />just a distant memory<br />of that disgusting<br />disease called humanity"<br /> - from my dear friend Jon Love's 'Fuckwit song'<br /><br />Hello! Yes, yes I felt the earthquake, it woke me up, at first i thought it was the washing machine which usually rattles the place like crazy when it spins but it wouldn't have turned itself on at 4:30am...or shaken quite so hard and slow. Epic sensations. I spent two weeks alone at Pete's beautiful arena for some much need returning to the centre and my own little Burning Man celebration. Much realising and thinking and writing and smiling and journeying took place without even going anywhere. Plus my first ever earthquake! Here are a few words penned on the day after the earthquake, the night of the afternoon of my own Burning Man and the relentless gale force nor-west winds........<br /><br /><br />The force of Mother Nature<br />The trailer home wobbles and creeks<br />Alive and connected to the breeze<br />Ha! Breeze implies not very windy<br />It is definitely Very windy<br />Windy enough to be able to feel a 30 metre tall tree, move<br />To hold a tree THAT enormous and solid and actually feel it move!<br /><br />Can you imagine?!!!!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfZ9lt7oOMQXXi-8_Y3Vs-nzSf5BBiog1xdylnNLjqGfIwA0VV-jNahUMP2O8UbwBhKjD4SOuS9Xytt7GOsSBFqbUqCAumSM8FMPPUYbMSQ8KfVVgv8hfjtrAZAqck0pCFPo3C_rn7Jw/s1600/DSCN5122.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfZ9lt7oOMQXXi-8_Y3Vs-nzSf5BBiog1xdylnNLjqGfIwA0VV-jNahUMP2O8UbwBhKjD4SOuS9Xytt7GOsSBFqbUqCAumSM8FMPPUYbMSQ8KfVVgv8hfjtrAZAqck0pCFPo3C_rn7Jw/s200/DSCN5122.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518997426803161122" /></a><br /><br />As amazing and awe inspiring and exciting as it all is, it is definitely a challenge to exist amongst it, and to enjoy it. There's fears to overcome, necessary fear - it's important to asses the danger potential, and also to examine my level of preparation for weather extremes. I'd say it's better than your average Westerner but it still needs work!<br /><br />Imagine another earthquake two, three times more powerful. Then what?! <br />Like Bob said: "Imagine what 2012 will be like"... okay so I'm imagining shooting stars across the sky, hurtling spiralling winds, vivid coloured lights, sounds, like humming, beautiful harmonious humming. Earth shaking, chaos all around, incredible sights yet I am still calm, at peace, content, delighted, dazzled, joyous to be amongst such spectacular happenings. SO MUCH PRESENCE. So many PRESENTS. in the PRESENT. Feeling... PRESENT. A word with many meanings to be presented!<br /><br />Dictionary says:...much...about present. Interesting point is the latin words it comes from: <br />PRAESENS, PRAEESSEE to be in front of<br />or the verb:<br />PRAESENTARE to exhibit<br /><br /><br />So... relative stillness has returned with the wind. I'm calming down, it's taking time. So much energy, my adrenaline rushing since about 3pm. It's now 2am. So many thoughts i couldn't possibly put words to. I am so glad to be having this experience right now. Just lay on the picnic table outside staring at the stars, a few shooting ones. <br />So much distance. <br />So much to comprehend and consider. <br />It's daunting and exciting. <br />On the wobbly line between fear and excitement is where I've spent a lot of this time. <br />I love hovering in that wobbly zone. <br />Every time i go there it pushes forward a bit further. New extremes of experiences find me when I'm not forcing myself into them through choice. It's necessary<br />to just<br />take it<br /><br />I love Pete. So much and in so many ways for so many reasons. His presence reminds me of the wonder of it all, his visions and what he's already made happen are inspirational. His care and understanding for me are constantly surprisingly enormous, unrelenting compassion and interest in me and us and... the warmth of the love and cuddles, the variety and intensity and curiosity of our sexual relationship still blows me away. The honesty, the open-ness, the compromise (dictionary:compromise:something midway between different things - YES!). It's all so beautiful. And always pushing forward. I can barely believe how magical this is. Kat... in A Relationship!?! And it's working... and she's happy. It's working on so many levels, it's so natural yet still somehow alien because of its newness... unusual, unfamiliar... on that wobbly line between fear and excitement... that place i love to be!<br /><br />And what of the future?<br />What of motivation and meaning and validity?<br />Projects to mission on together: yes - Pete's visions are like springboards for my wishes. Or maybe my wishes...my...things i am striving to be a part of...are a springboard for Pete's visions. Either way, what I mean is that there is so much possibility to do things, with him, that align with the kinds of things i want to be doing with myself... spreading information, raising awareness, increasing practical skills, building, growing food, implementing self-supporting systems that work with the natural cycles, helping others to achieve this... and still there is space to make art and explore my individual and our collective creativity, to help set-up for gatherings of beautiful people celebrating all such things and increasing levels of love, joy and consciousness...I, we, can do all of this.<br /><br />.....<br /><br />I think we are prizing each other's hearts open wider and wider. There need be no end to the opening... love is an infinite world, possibilities as far as your imagination can stretch - therefore, for us that must be infinite. Imagination is a blank canvas - or is it what you put on the canvas... or both... or the space between the two... or the tools you use... I love what Pete's written and drawn that's hanging on the wall:<br /><br />"You are taking your consciousness<br />Dipping it into pure awareness<br />and painting every moment<br />with those brush strokes of creation"<br /><br />What more can I say right now except to remind my future self that when i stopped, alone, going inward, that these were the thoughts - and more importantly, feelings - that I experienced.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUazXhXkwrF-u9yYb83qUBXLoEpEGyFnpssw_yNk9PpsV9A9dYviJ0YYK2zI3J8-NEZJ-Y8ge9c_rhnNSJijGMwivOCHMrLKfquoZ78DkqOyfHqReDyD-ixklvCdD__OncsatKatN9sw/s1600/DSCN5008.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUazXhXkwrF-u9yYb83qUBXLoEpEGyFnpssw_yNk9PpsV9A9dYviJ0YYK2zI3J8-NEZJ-Y8ge9c_rhnNSJijGMwivOCHMrLKfquoZ78DkqOyfHqReDyD-ixklvCdD__OncsatKatN9sw/s200/DSCN5008.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518994757553246034" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPq47NzAn6OopQkEpuqt8b-Q5j23S2drXsXfSFn2zcY7TntPVP72lwvyIp3zMM4SVng9hwH7S8Sv9zxbEZQKZN0ptMiRHYvloR8p9Oc25ZPl-d5QwuPEeoWD170DDshNAnCcQQiwhdMA/s1600/DSCN5027.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPq47NzAn6OopQkEpuqt8b-Q5j23S2drXsXfSFn2zcY7TntPVP72lwvyIp3zMM4SVng9hwH7S8Sv9zxbEZQKZN0ptMiRHYvloR8p9Oc25ZPl-d5QwuPEeoWD170DDshNAnCcQQiwhdMA/s200/DSCN5027.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518994770046783538" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF_gVSZmSgxi0fWSTuw3ToNKPnTcidZiabvyaHH8F_BRjG01R581JfNIR9dHd0Jl4w9zUjRwULpnesFTsrmK8lM0fIyZTAn0m8fTbzFqq9oZtFv6RL_X3VnmOdUXy8PPDx775TiPU8Dw/s1600/DSCN5028.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF_gVSZmSgxi0fWSTuw3ToNKPnTcidZiabvyaHH8F_BRjG01R581JfNIR9dHd0Jl4w9zUjRwULpnesFTsrmK8lM0fIyZTAn0m8fTbzFqq9oZtFv6RL_X3VnmOdUXy8PPDx775TiPU8Dw/s200/DSCN5028.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518994779953163138" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Rrl5cefQMvamntnh56gSOpw22KymKNFb4sOLlMoBYeq4fe9m6bj5KxLLcIhlnA4v_ROdobxl4takdOpcPEu7yRdV1s_pNJSXhhwJswrEkZfpXh_apk6vlUMrLh4axLxKlZ1yakJF_g/s1600/RSCN5059.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Rrl5cefQMvamntnh56gSOpw22KymKNFb4sOLlMoBYeq4fe9m6bj5KxLLcIhlnA4v_ROdobxl4takdOpcPEu7yRdV1s_pNJSXhhwJswrEkZfpXh_apk6vlUMrLh4axLxKlZ1yakJF_g/s200/RSCN5059.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518994789088401842" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFPO9v-ncdREtGssuEVzldogb7iuQuFfARkkihLTbchDMHLJgzJBpm-ALWMaGNgTm9AC9KG7ujUb17z_zmReFY4iQPpGD1DzQVxUMG762SO5mvjfWmR0FVEgkb2MDnFECCkDDlFVczxg/s1600/DSCN5094.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFPO9v-ncdREtGssuEVzldogb7iuQuFfARkkihLTbchDMHLJgzJBpm-ALWMaGNgTm9AC9KG7ujUb17z_zmReFY4iQPpGD1DzQVxUMG762SO5mvjfWmR0FVEgkb2MDnFECCkDDlFVczxg/s200/DSCN5094.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518994797133202146" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTPSHICcG_dMwsTYWwIIG-tSauxAaGUcD0JrW0Ftdsy19Zp8JGuYJiu_4mSf0nxK4Ri5U5A05sdSIbrL5_ISJqR0D4nYphDMAeVatRqw4FrDlhGhKsK5i4G1ShGlEVoAIyZFBZlk6Tvw/s1600/DSCN5103.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTPSHICcG_dMwsTYWwIIG-tSauxAaGUcD0JrW0Ftdsy19Zp8JGuYJiu_4mSf0nxK4Ri5U5A05sdSIbrL5_ISJqR0D4nYphDMAeVatRqw4FrDlhGhKsK5i4G1ShGlEVoAIyZFBZlk6Tvw/s200/DSCN5103.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518997438710503762" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf87ORigxgCkznKBr_sKwBbRDLvhdzaDwxJ8Axbv1J0YNVJhU4Nb7cIFx9_1G0710vsnU9Eaxthm2GnGouYIAfxTIinfd-K7vg8RVOY0mH5f4DpuJRKtpSQOlaLAd4G1f_qZ-wj5ekMQ/s1600/DSCN5139.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf87ORigxgCkznKBr_sKwBbRDLvhdzaDwxJ8Axbv1J0YNVJhU4Nb7cIFx9_1G0710vsnU9Eaxthm2GnGouYIAfxTIinfd-K7vg8RVOY0mH5f4DpuJRKtpSQOlaLAd4G1f_qZ-wj5ekMQ/s200/DSCN5139.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518997420462570162" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxAjBdYeUVyg4E9oZtCHkVn_qrCCYuZKI6MMrrNdl51aFYqLML8vaBvsEWH0zL0MYl0ao8qKZPvFS6f0nj2cB6mH-ntG4lu7p1oDEWC-LNeYw7aBvyGurMKBPhuKB_96VJn2CmwGMmzw/s1600/DSCN5155.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxAjBdYeUVyg4E9oZtCHkVn_qrCCYuZKI6MMrrNdl51aFYqLML8vaBvsEWH0zL0MYl0ao8qKZPvFS6f0nj2cB6mH-ntG4lu7p1oDEWC-LNeYw7aBvyGurMKBPhuKB_96VJn2CmwGMmzw/s200/DSCN5155.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518997416954802386" /></a>CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-84221043150321600812010-07-20T18:19:00.003+12:002010-07-20T19:19:06.867+12:00Getting going again.....finally!Hello and welcome back!<br /><br />I am breaking the drought...it's my birthday today and for some reason i feel inclined to break the ice of the long overdue blog posting.<br /><br />What to say, where to start?!! My first birthday in New Zealand is today, believe it or not since i have been in this country for pretty much two years now. Anyway, so, twenty eight Earth years in this physical body, apparently... nope, i don't feel any different. Actually i feel different than i have done for the last few days. But that's because for the last few days, if not longer, i have been on a fierce self critical questionning analysis negative spiralling thought/feeling pattern. Which sucked. Why? A few reasons...wondering what I am really doing what have i really achieved these last two years since i left England, whether i really can handle being in a relationship, whether i am progressing in any way or doing enough productive helpful stuff. etc etc i won't linger too long on that one.<br /><br />Makes a change though for one of my blogs to not be ecstatically joyful i suppose, perhaps you would like some more just to remind you that it's not just a fairytale world i am living in, it has its waves just like everybody's world does.<br /><br />Recently i have been introduced to the existence of Robert Anton Wilson. Anyone interested in philosophy, society, the meaning of life, metaphysics, pontifications...be sure to investigate this man. One of the strongest messages i have taken on board from him so far is the notion (or rather a reminder of the notion) that all perception is metaphor...nothing is really real, everything is subjective...we all live in 'reality tunnels' which fit whatever we want/need for the moment and we would all be well advised to routinely and systematically delete our beliefs and change our perspectives.<br /><br />Well anyway this guy is a lot better at explaining himself than i am at explaining why he is such a profound voice in my life right now. I have just done a little bit of research to find a few quotes from him...<br /><br />"I have never experienced another human being. I have experienced my impressions of them."<br /><br />“. . . there are periods of history when the visions of madmen and dope fiends are a better guide to reality than the common-sense interpretation of data available to the so-called normal mind. This is one such period, if you haven't noticed already.”<br /><br />“Every fact of science was once Damned. Every invention was considered impossible. Every discovery was a nervous shock to some orthodoxy. Every artistic innovation was denounced as fraud and folly. The entire web of culture and "progress," everything on earth that is man-made and not given to us by nature, is the concrete manifestation of some man's refusal to bow to Authority. We would own no more, know no more, and be no more than the first apelike hominids if it were not for the rebellious, the recalcitrant, and the intransigent. As Oscar Wilde truly said, "Disobedience was man's Original Virtue."<br /><br />Anyway it has been a lovely day. Awoke to sun beaming in the windeow...winter sunbathing in bed! Followed by a few hours walking through native bush and a very cold dip in a stream, then an afternoon collecting flowers and pretty things from the garden and playing at being a florist whilst drinking Jack Daniels and wearing the most gorgeous new red possum fur fingerless gloves. Thanks to Pete and Kathy and Bruce for their parts to play in these lovely times.<br /><br />My birthday wishes....<br /><br />- to receive emails from my dearest friends telliung me about their thoughts, feelings and ideas on life, love and beyond<br /><br />- the miraculous appearance of Burning Man funds<br /><br />miaow xxxCuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-69715228329433274782010-03-17T03:41:00.005+13:002010-03-25T01:40:37.748+13:00Grouch, Luminate, the Heaphy Track and the juggler"Truth is a pathless land. Man cannot come to it through any organization, through any creed, through any dogma, priest or ritual, nor through any philosophic knowledge or psychological technique. He has to find it through the mirror of relationship, through the understanding of the contents of his own mind, through observation and not through intellectual analysis or introspective dissection. Man has built in himself images as a fence of security - religious, political, personal. These manifest as symbols, ideas, beliefs. The burden of these images dominates man's thinking, his relationships and his daily life. These images are the causes of our problems for they divide man from man. His perception of life is shaped by the concepts already established in his mind. The content of his consciousness is his entire existence. This content is common to all humanity. The individuality is the name, the form and superficial culture he acquires from tradition and environment. The uniqueness of man does not lie in the superficial but in complete freedom from the content of his consciousness, which is common to all mankind."<br /><br />The above quote came from the myspace page of NZ DJproducer Grouch, whose set I saw at Luminate festival (fest I help to build electronic zone for, spent 2 weeks on site, built this amazing bamboo structure, slept only 10 hours in the 5 days of the festival with hardly any chemical help....man it was beautiful)...<br /><br />I was really tired physically when his set began, from so much previous dancing, but his set was basically like a physiotherapy session for me....I used the music to do massive stretches to, and....oh fuck I don't know how I am going to explain this. It's like a musical representation of an orgasm in slow motion....like the gooiest juiciest most deep moment, paused and allowed to be squiremed around in utter ecstasy in for an hour.....like going soooo deep underground, into the firey core of the earth and also way way out into space, like being twisted into and stretched out of massive knots. There were points at which I felt like weight was being lifted from my body, like I was dancing in ways I had never danced before. <br /><br />Musically I don't know enough to be able to really describe/compare it. It was like a journey. Emotionally as well. All the people I loved most in the world came to my mind whilst listening to this set...<br /><br />And all of this was not under the influence of any drugs. Just pure energy and musical fucking joyousness and perfect moment/time calibration! There were times I was dancing with my eyes closed and visualising flying through space, other dimensions...so hard to explain i just really feel like it was a massive opening and exploratory experience.<br />http://www.myspace.com/otgrouch<br /><br /><br />____________________________________________________________________<br /><br /><br />Below is the account of a 5 day adventure into nature on foot, during which I was writing each day and have copied word for word what I wrote at the time...enjoy!<br /><br />Tuesday 9th Feb<br /><br />My desire to document my time at Luminate seems to have been overcome by my intense longing for resolve in this situation with the mysterious Lithuanian juggler. And so now is the eve of my embarkation on a mission during which I might intercept him. As good an excuse as any, for me to finally take on one of New Zealand’s Great Walks – the one I was first told about and so highly recommended all that time ago, and was talking about even before I learnt that HE was doing it – The Heaphy Track. Me, my feet, some food and clothes, and about 80km of nature. Yummy! As for what I will do if I run into him...well...firstly I think I’ll have time to ponder this as I’m walking, and secondly, I think that whatever happens, this is part of the theme of the walk, and some amount of resolve must surely result from it, regardless of whether our paths actually cross.<br /><br />DAY ONE<br />...not that I can guarantee to update every day, though it could be fun to do so...I travelled with Janet 400 km by road from Takaka to Karamea, I learnt of her adventures working in Antarctica and Alaska, and on many of New Zealand’s Great Walks. Apparently it’s gonna be hard to get away with not paying to camp on this one, but I really don’t want to be restricted by dates and locations – that’s why I’m going into the bush! Hmm though, it’s a tourist-dense track. So I do have my doubts, but must remain open-minded, as I always strive to do. I’m so lucky, I get to sleep in a bed tonight, for the first time since Leigh Sawmill Cafe with Hikoikoi about five weeks ago! It’s the first rain I’ve experienced in 2 weeks, I wonder how wet my walk will be. This is looking like being quite an intense trip...<br /><br />So, I told Janet the story of my romantic confusion. Still I ponder endlessly and flit between intense attraction and cruel confusion at the emotional conundrum I find myself in. I just can’t seem to let it go. It’s so intriguing despite its inherent unhealthiness. Seems Kitty Kat like a riddle. Curiosity killed the...? Is it immature to be wondering such questions as “Is he confused about me too?”, “Is he thinking about all this?”, “Would he try and make contact with me again”, “Does any of this really matter?”. Umm, perhaps I need to shift my focus away from him; though half way through writing that it already felt wrong. I guess I’m following my heart here, fuck knows where it’s taking me, but I can only assume a lesson is in progress.<br /><br />DAY TWO<br /> Just found out I missed him by what must’ve been only hours, unless there’s another Lithuanian who came through this shelter yesterday – so intensely unlikely. Feeling sunken, this walk is tough, my pack is heavy and unbalanced to carry, and now my chance of romantic resolve is gone, it’s probably for the best, since I’ve been wondering how I would deal with the awkwardness of how I would deal with bumping into him on this track. But it’s kinda killed my motivation to walk, and I’ve only covered 8km so far. Damn that boy moves fast. Now it’s just a case of pressing on, I must move forward, but where is my joy and appreciation? How transformed will I be when I reach the other side? Can I make it to Heaphy Hut and find somewhere sly to camp, coz it’s too early to stop here now and be dinner to hundreds of sandflies. Fuck it I can’t believe I so narrowly missed him. Now I’ve got to just get on with it. Psychotherapy of a new kind, is what I imagine this walk to become. Onwards, contemplatively... pushing the limits and boundaries of my physical and spiritual self: this has been the underlying ethos of the last few weeks (although really it’s the undercurrent of life for me, I mean that in particular it’s been full on recently)... <br /><br />So now as I shelter in my tent on the beach having safely got myself cleansed by the wild West Coast ocean and inside the sandfly-proof mesh, I stretch my muscles and feel the elasticity increase, and I start to reflect on Luminate and my walk today. Firstly... who am I trying to share this with? Anybody other than myself? How much explanation is required here? These are the questions I’m not sure of the answers to. So I seem to keep finding myself riding these huge waves of change, feeling the crash and finding a new way to surf onto a new high, taking in new experiences and cultivating my character always onwards, but I do wonder how far forward I’m actually progressing. So I gave a lot of myself at Luminate: creating the structures for the electronic zone, painting and covering the crop circle, helping with shifting stuff, washing up, tidying, firewood... and I moved myself forward in terms of learning how to enjoy tribal drumming and dancing, and enjoying some new electronic music experiences, namely Opiou and Grouch...<br /><br />Yet in my putting words to this I feel no further concreting of anything, in fact it almost feels like the opposite, because right now as I look out at the waves crashing against the rocks and the distant glow of sunshine breaking through the clouds and hitting the ocean, I’m going to pause to eat the squishiest banana I possess, and see what meal I can make of it. Okay, yummy food eaten = mushy banana with cinnamon, fruit spice bread, peanut butter, salami, nuts and mung dahl (spicy crunchy sweet mung beans), and a yummy breakfast prepared – soaking oats, nuts, seeds, goji berries and quinoa flakes. Greyness ensues now in the sky outside, perhaps rain will fall tonight. Thankfully I can trust my tent, yay! It must be not even 9pm but I’m thinking soon I’ll go for a pee and then to sleep, it’d be good to get my body clock in tune with the daylight, it’s so nice not wearing my watch, ever since lending it to Iain at the start of Luminate to help him make his sundial – what a blessing it was to be without the clock. Blimey my muscles ache. <br /><br />Ah yes back to the point I made earlier – the pushing of boundaries. I am coming to understand the pushing of physical and spiritual boundaries go hand in hand. One assists the other. The boundaries of physical (lots of work and lots of dancing) and mental (no sleep) tiredness I put myself through at Luminate were like, hmm how do I turn this to metaphor?! They were tests, like stretching elastic and holding it stretched so much that when you eventually let go, it’s a bit longer than it was to begin with. It doesn’t go back to where it was. So I guess that’s what this walk is about too. It’s been really tough today, my muscles ache and it was such a downer to learn that I have missed my hoped interception of the mysterious Lithuanian riddle man. But now it’s shaping up to be all good... a challenge ahead of me. Time to reflect. Time to progress.<br /><br />DAY THREE<br />...a somewhat uphill struggle! Actually now that I’m resting and looking back, I feel I’ve done well! Waiting now for the dried pasta meal I bought 2 months ago, to rehydrate! It’s still quite light but kinda dull in my tent, because I’m camped amidst trees. Amazed that I managed to find enough relatively flat and growth-free land to pitch my tent that’s far enough off the track to not be seen yet close enough for it to be easy to get out. The forest is so quiet, this surprises me a lot. There’s the occasional distant bird, a very low hum of insect sound, the odd nearby fly, the flutter of a fantail that just came to check me out. But really, it’s almost eerily quiet. So much better than the campsite that A) I didn’t have the energy to walk to, and B) would’ve had to pay for. The weight of my pack is getting easier to manage, and I’ve just done a steady uphill wind through rainforest for maybe 2 hours. That was tough, especially after seeing another visitor’s book entry by Justas, this time calling himself Peter Pan (yesterday was Winnie de Pooh), Ah the sound of a mosquito now, what joy! So I would like to write a lot more but having light-fading issues!<br /><br />Food happened, now writing by torchlight. More bird sounds have greeted me – the bellbird and morepork; the mossie is still buzzing around in here. Don’t have much patience for writing words right now, though I have much to share. Sore heat rash between my legs not sure how that’s going to progress. Lots of thoughts of stamina today. Does mental stamina increase alongside physical? I’m sure some of my mental stamina is what’s been making my legs move today! It’s definitely a balance, one makes the other stronger. Well, I managed to get rid of the mosquito, it was trapped near my head between the inner and outer tent, so even though it wasn’t going to bite me, it had to go, it would’ve annoyed me for hours with its singing. I do feel somewhat selfish about this, but I hope nature understands my desire for a good sleep. Which I shall find myself in soon. <br /><br />Today’s favourite moment has to be the little beach I found on the Heaphy River where I had a dip of massive refreshing loveliness followed by lying in the sun on a log washed up from a time the river was running fast, without getting found out by sandflies for about 5 minutes of naked bliss!<br /><br />DAY FOUR<br />Woke up to pitch black rain, snoozed lots, eventually woke up to daylight rain. I’m gonna wait it out, I do not have to get anywhere today and I’m warm and dry and could do with the rest. The sound of rain on canvass is such a beautiful thing, especially when you know it’s not leaking! I really want a cup of tea but think I should conserve my water supply, so I’m trying to collect a cup of rainwater for it... <br /><br />Some time later I’m almost finished with the coffee I made, having collected oodles of rainwater I definitely need not worry about dehydration. How classic is it that today of all days is the day I need to poo after 3 days of having not... so there I am, crouching in the rainforest in the rain in my $4 bright yellow rubber jacket, digging a hole with my hands, not once but twice today have I had to do this! The rain is relentless, quite the opposite of the eery quietness I noted last night. I’ve calculated I must’ve walked just over 30km of this 82km track so there’s still a long way to go and it’s hard to resist eating when you’re sitting next to all your food but I’m not hungry so I really need to stop myself because it could be another four days before I’m at a shop. This isn’t survival though, this is just a mini jaunt away from western life, I mean it’s probably less than 2 hours’ walk to the next hut where there’s people and shelter, at a price of course. My challenge is to complete this walk without staying at any of the designated fee-paying campsites or huts, because to me the idea of paying to camp in the bush makes no sense and kind of defeats the object of getting out into nature. Nice as it would be, to have a dry big space and real bed, it kind of seems like cheating. Mind you, what would be a real bush adventure would be to come out with nothing, catch my food and build my shelter. But that’s unrealistic to do, considering how little I know. I’d probably end up pathetically soaked showing up at a hut pleading for assistance. Humility exercise anyone?! <br /><br />So...it’s funny how I keep wondering what time it is, both today as I sit in my tent hiding from the wet outside, and yesterday afternoon as I lugged myself on the ever-winding bush path. It’s today, it’s now, is all that should really matter, but we’re so conditioned to living according to the ticking clock, instead of just how we feel and how the daylight rolls. I don’t know if there’s really anything I can do about that. Shall I look at the time, I could find out if I turn on my phone? I’m guessing it’s around 2pm... Wow! The clock says 11.39am. Incredible, how my sense of time is so warped whilst sitting here in the rain, no point of relativity with which to judge it. This is probably what I needed though; to be forced to just stop. I remembered earlier about the one thing I lost at Luminate... when we were digging the holes for the bamboo legs of the soundshell structure, my Burning Man bracelet popped off, and some playa dust went into the hole; I thought it quite poignant and left the bracelet on the ground, but when I later remembered that I had not picked it up, and went back to find it, it was nowhere to be seen. I can only deduce, strange and implausible as it seems, that it got buried when we filled the holes. This I feel is a beautiful thing, for I know it would not have lasted too long – I mean, it was made from a glowstick, with the insides removed and replaced with playa dust, ashes from the Man and Temple burns, copper wire from the Man’s electrics, and sealed with black tape, copper wire and PVA glue! The beauty of it is that there were moments during Luminate when I recalled moments of Burning Man, I can’t actually remember which moments of Burning Man, other than to say that the feelings of freedom, acceptance, love, joy and open-ness, the times of elation of feeling so connected to myself and my surroundings, these feelings that Burning Man invoked, so too did occur at Luminate. I think of dancing to Grouch’s DJ set in particular (at Luminate on Sat night / 4am Sun morning) which was so deep and juicy and orgasmic and brought to my mind so many of the people so dear to me who were also at Burning Man, as well as feeling like a deep exploration into myself, my own body – all that amazing muscle stretching then dancing with such lightness and energy like never before – and my mind – closing my eyes and visualising travelling through space. Seeing a spiral in the centre of my closed-eye vision and focussing on it, losing myself in that vision and the idea of realities different to the standard one I see with my eyes open, imagining and seeing so much just with my eyes closed and amazing deep-exploratory aural input – then every so often opening my eyes for a split second to add a flash of something different like the view of the magnificent structure above, the lines, lights and smoke, holding with my hands onto the bamboo and twisting and stretching my body into the most yummy spiralling knots and then pushing a little deeper, holding then pushing some more, always feeling totally in tune with the music then uncoiling as the music too uncoiled into a new pattern. Infinite possible ways in which to explore my body and mind with this music and the physical setting.<br /><br />So now the rain has stopped. There’s still dripping on my tent, from the trees above, I can hear the sound of the wind blowing distant trees, big drips hit the tent as the wind moves to the trees around me. There’s the chatter of birds around me. Perhaps they’re singing because the rain has cleared, they’re celebrating the nourishment it has brought, there’s puddles for them to flutter around in. Perhaps they never stopped singing, but their song had been drowned out by the rain. Should I stay or should I go? Well I don’t feel like moving just yet. Now I shall have my cup of tea... Hooray for portable mini stoves and cups of tea! Why starve myself of this little luxury through fear of lack of authenticity? I’m not an ancient tribal warrior with no knowledge of the joys of tea, so why should I force myself to pretend I’m anything other than a typical English girl who likes her tea? Is that being self-derogatory? Hmm, perhaps, it all depends, on which and what I base my judgements, of myself. It’s all perception anyway, and right now I can find no reason to not enjoy this indulgement that I am blessed with – a cup of hot, organic fair-trade tea in the middle of New Zealand Aotearoa rain forest. How lucky for me!! So much greenery outside: my door is open now that the rain has ceased, though the dripping continues, it’s such a feast for the thirsty forest; how it loves the rain; the green comes even more alive and, and, and, I pause again to contemplate, as I have moved now into rhyme; a lyrical feast which may or may not serve me well to document my time on this trek, this the longest of New Zealand’s ‘Great Walks’ – those walks the tourists comes here for, and the first of which I have embarked upon. In hindsight I think that lugging 20kg would be more worthwhile for new scenery, so much time I have already spent in the New Zealand bush without such a load. But then again perhaps it is good to prepare myself in this way, so that I can take another walk, perhaps down south where the scenery will be so new to me, and I will be able to focus more upon it rather than upon the struggle of the physical effort!<br /><br />Later...<br />Blimey, I have so much to report since I stopped writing and decided to pack up my stuff and move onwards. Basically, today I actually really got into this experience, from an actual enjoyment point of view, and this is how: When I left last night’s camp spot and rainshelter my aim was to make it to some point between the next two huts. First thing I noticed as I started walking was how ridiculously much easier it felt, the change was shocking = sure I knew it’d get easier with time, but the contrast between yesterday and today has been astounding. I no longer felt like I was struggling to carry my pack, it felt balanced on my body and my legs had the strength to stomp uphill. Amazing! I managed to negotiate a few stream crossings via well placed rocks until I hit one where it was clearly necessary to take off my boots. From that point on I decided to walk barefoot – the windy rainforest path is easy to walk – mud, leaves, soil... gradually the landscape begins to change, there’s a light mist in the air and I realise I’m up in the clouds. Moss covers everything, so much green! Gradually getting higher, shining at the joy of being able to walk without a huge struggle, plus the loveliness of walking barefoot, the path gets brighter as I’m moving out of the rainforest and into tussock-land, sandy pathway and then, a little side path, which leads to a little opening where I stand and see how high up I am, all I can see are hills and plants and driving misty rain, plus these little squiggles in my vision if I stare at the bright light grey sky above. I contemplate how funny it is that this, and the rainforest before, both are landscapes which remind me of times exploring Great Barrier Island exactly one year ago, and I think of the walks I took high up with Andy and the solo mission of cycling and walking... I love these solo missions but you know it does so often seem there’s a boy involved during so many times of great adventuring... both Chris on Waiheke and Andy on Great Barrier, saw me first at the completion of nature adventure exertion physical-boundary-pushing solo joy missions. They caught me in the midst of deep open-ness and connectivity, elation... the same goes for Joel in that respect. And oh yes he has entered my mind on more than one occasion since I started this walk as well. Boys boys boys!<br /><br />Anyway, so it was only a 5 minute walk from this high point to the Mackay Hut, where I was greeted by a couple of German lads who informed me the next part of the track was waist deep in water when they walked it earlier. I go into the hut to check the map. It’s warm and full of people, who all fall quiet and look at me as if I am wearing a bikini or something. Strange... back outside to contemplate – there’s a warden here so what should I do, would be crazy to move forward if I’ll be confronted with waist deep water. Then Xavier arrives, he’s just come from that direction and let’s me know the water’s only ankle deep. Yes! I continue forward, after telling him of my DOC camp evading ways. The scenery gets more beautiful, amazing alpine mosses, water systems all over the place, I try to guess which bits were waist deep! Elation spreads as I realise how lucky I am and how good this feels. The pathway is stony but so often the sides are lined with moss, it’s like nature’s carpet, feels so good on bare feet! Boardwalks line some of the way, there’s some really boggy areas. The misty rain still falls and it’s beautiful, so nice being alone out here in these conditions, witnessing the late aftermath of the heavy rain. So much beautiful vegetation just on the pathways... bright white and lime green mosses, tiny red flowers, nature is so endlessly creative. I walk through a valley of barren tussock interspersed with giant grey boulders, impossible to describe the random epic-ness of this place! The stones hurt my feet, the mossy edges feel amazing, as do the streams I walk through. I come to a bridge; the track points one way. I drop my bag and head off down another pathway by the stream, walk over some marshiness and head upwards intuiting somewhere to camp. At first I reach higher, drier land but find nothing flat or open, so I go down slightly, across a bit, then up again and hey presto! The perfect spot, incredible; a path where the moss clears, the land is relatively dry underfoot, just big enough and flat enough for my tent to go. I can hardly believe it, it’s so beautiful, out of this whole walk through sodden marshiness and hills, to find this perfect patch, it’s amazing. I am so happy up here. Rain has stopped although the air is still damp because I’m basically in the clouds, but it’s dry for setting up my tent, the twilight (I can’t call it sunset because it’s too cloudy to see the sun) is making everything stand out in such a gloriously coloured way, there’s this amazing white spongey plant growing really near my tent, my god it feels so nice on my hands! And these tiny cute red flowers. Nature today has been amazing, All the colours and moistness of the last hour or so of walking, the greens and pinks and whites and gorgeous alpine mistiness. Yummy! Writing by candlelight I really just had to get that all down, and I haven’t even touched on what thoughts besides just describing what occurred. But no matter, for today had a lot of thought writing at the start of it. I feel I’ve come really far and I’ve actually really enjoyed myself today after pushing on through that struggle yesterday (and the first day!)... glad , so so glad to not be staying at a hut or campsite, this is so much more where I need to be right now. Really excited about what tomorrow holds in store. Oops I wasn’t paying attention and a little hole has melted into my tent mesh above where the candle was sitting. It’s repairable, lesson learned.<br /><br />DAY FIVE<br />Exploring New Zealand’s nature shouldn’t be expensive, and I am so far doing a good job of proving that it doesn’t have to be. Although I guess it’s fair enough that DOC need tourist money to help look after the land and of course maintain the tracks and huts, so yes I admit I am taking advantage of the situation without contributing money, and it does seem that contributing money is such an important part of situations, it’s something I still struggle with the concept of. Can’t get away from money, it’s needed for some things, it can be avoided, but situations always have someone contributing money. I like to think AND do a service / give a value, of myself, instead of money... hey, some say time is money, well yes by that even by the truth I have my time to give, and I wouldn’t necessarily have that if I had money to give, because I’d be somewhere else working to earn the money.<br /><br />Anyways enough ranting about this endless quandary. Point is it’s about me trying to find a balance and spend/use money as little as possible. Plus actually I’m just really happy to be camping in random places on this track and not having had to decide in advance where to be! It seems like the best way for me, is not like the majority. And that seems to be the case in a lot of what I do. Which can make it difficult sometimes to figure things out, because so often I find my differences cause me self doubt; when other people question me and I know they’d do things differently, it’s hard sometimes to explain why I always seem to want to deviate; I don’t think it’s just to be different – though that’s surely a part of it – I just seem to have different ideas to ‘the norm’ about the best way to enjoy things. And that is fine, so long as I’m not harming anyone... hmm I just remembered where the doubt comes in - it’s when I think other people think I’m doing it wrong or not obeying ‘the rules’... perhaps dating back to fear of being told off as a child? But I’m an adult now and can make my own mind up! Who cares who thinks I’m doing it wrong as long as my intentions are good? Okay, so I guess for maximum integrity I could’ve not used any DOC facilities - taken my water from streams and always gone bush loos - but I took the easy option, coz it was there. Even boiled some water at a hut today to make a cup of tea and Part Two of rehydrating pasta meal, which was super delicious with added chilli, salami, sundried tomato, and apricots (found too in the hut)...THIS made me feel naughty!<br /><br />I’m not very good with dishonesty, as was proved when I had to find and confess to the owner of multiple bars of ‘Sinless Fair Trade Dark Chocolate’ that I munched my way through one of, the night before leaving Luminate basecamp (Jules and Rita’s place – turned out the choc was Jules’... she responded well, told me it was a gift for all my hard work and praised me for my honesty but MAN did I feel stupid and dishonest!)<br /><br />I’m pretty much ready for sleep, despite having got so many pieces of thought and the day’s activities to write about... I’ve probably covered 13km today. Oh yeh and it’s Valentines’ Day. Donald Duck was the alibi used by Justas in the Saxon Hut visitor book. Thoughts today included songs by Ten To Never and Glowglobes coming into my head, and the highlight was my ten minute encounter with one of the country’s rare prehistoric giant snails, which reminded me of Olly and our Beechwood bench snail moment. This giant snail seemed relatively happy to be sitting on my hand – taking up my entire palm and raising its front towards me as I put my eyes close to it. Beautiful dark brown shell over 2 inches in diameter! A day of steady niceness through moss covered beech forest and sparse flat-ish downland. Also the eerie section of fragmented rock and cave beech forest that made me think no wonder they filmed Lord of the Rings in this country. So raw with all the massive rock fragments yet so alive that no tree trunk or branch stem wasn’t covered in something green .<br /><br />Less than 25km left to walk and I’m in no rush whatsoever, it’ll be nice to go exploring the top of Golden Bay when I’m done with this track and feel totally at ease with tramping around and camping wherever I feel like it. I’m so glad I’m doing this finally a big walk! Oh and, I thought of Joel today, wondered about him coming to this country, thought about his eyes, about how I haven’t been with a man since him (except one drunken minutes-long encounter and a few nights snuggling friends) and wondered why. I don’t even think that’s what I wanted from Donald Duck(!)... not sure what I wanted, just know there’s a bizarre physical attraction that renders me shy and childlike and often unaware of what to do about it. I guess all I can really want from him is some honesty about how he really feels instead of all the riddles. I like the riddles though – if you can call them that – good little all-purpose open-to-interpretation quotes: “Don’t have false illusions” and “There is nothing you want to know”. The ponderment continues. Goodnight sweethearts, all of you, I have love for everyone; some people are just extra special to me. Yum (seems to be my new favourite word!)<br /><br />DAY SIX<br />Lookout Point, maybe 15km from the end of the track, looking out over bush covered mountains, only the tops of them bare rock, I can hear running water in the distance as waterfalls make their ceaseless motions, I can see one in the distance too. Hmm, I thought I’d have more to say right now but I’ve just spent the last ten minutes talking to a fellow walker who was at the lookout when I arrived. I’ve thought about Burning Man a few times walking today, and my dear friends I spent my time there with. I wonder how long before I get to see and play with them again. Such beautiful people around whom I feel so joyous and balanced. So now here I sit alone at a picnic bench in the middle of mountains and I think Blimey!... how lucky I am to be having this experience, enjoying it (even when it’s physically strenuous) and being aware of it all. I note that Donald Duck from Lithuania passed through the last shelter on 9th Feb. I’m amazed how fast he got through this track, although actually it’s not at all surprising, he’s tall and strong. I don’t know if I’ll ever have answers where he’s concerned. Like Olly once told me, there are some questions where the answer will always be ‘maybe’ and the trick is learning to accept it. Ignoring it seems to be what will have to occur, ie. Don’t think about it because what can it achieve? Hmm, we shall see, I don’t think I’m quite ready to ignore this conundrum altogether, although I am happy to report that I feel far less bogged down about it now than 5 days ago! <br /><br />Later... it was Mickey Mouse actually! I already mentioned Donald Duck! Anyway I’m about to have the cup of tea I’ve been holding off ever since breakfast time. Must be about 7pm? It’s perfect. I’m maybe an hour from the end of the whole track and, having narrowly avoided staying at the last shelter before here (people told me no-one would be there and it would be too steep to camp anywhere between there and the last hut)... well I kept on walking and yes, things were looking steep, I was getting tired and wondering what I’d do. A little way up from where I am now, a bird called me to halt, and I put down my pack and went climbing through the bush in search of some flat, clear ground. I seem to have a certain amount of ‘bush intuition’, I thought to myself. After a few minutes I decided there was nothing to be found, and continued along the track. Just a few bends later I noticed a mini track off to the right. I follow it and Ta Da! The perfect little clearing, an opening with an old bench and a view out to distant mountains; which is where I sit as I write this now. Fantails tweet and water falls in the far distance, I hear other birdsong too and this feels like such a wonderful spot to spend my last night on this track. <br /><br />So, the thing that occurred to me about my Lithuanian crush, is, well, actually to call it a crush could be the wrong word, because it’s different, I think... I mean, my confusion comes from a few places – one is that I feel an intense ‘something’, some kind of physical, or primal if you like, attraction towards this person yet on emotional, intellectual and conversational levels it’s very awkward. And this is what, I think, attracts me more, in a twisted sort of way, because I do tend to want to pursue relations where there is some sort of unexplainable awkwardness to see what there is to be learnt from them. However, second in my confusion list is his reaction to me; which actually connects to the point I just made as well, and still doesn’t get me any closer to anything resembling resolve. Perhaps my resolve is to be, to be... just to be content with what is: what it is is what it is, yes it’s true I would like to know – intellectually speaking – more about what the ‘what’ that ‘is’, is, but... it aint looking like it’s gonna happen. True there are still ways to make contact (internet) but I don’t think I’ll see him again, which is the mode of contact in which interaction between us should happen. Words don’t seem to work. Communication happens on many levels. Something was communicated to him through my touch, like something was communicated to me through noticing and admiring his physical presence. There’s beauty in that, and love in that.<br /><br />So... the Heaphy Track, which is laughably named considering Heaphy only covered the coastal part and when doing so was guided by a Maori (the Maori had been exploring the area long before!)... has been a wonderful journey and my favourite bit by far has got to be the 24 hours from waking up in the rain to climbing high and then seeing the bush and mossiness dripping with the moisture, watching streams finding their way, and finding my way to the most beautiful camp spot next to spongey white moss and tiny delicate red flowers, then waking to a sunny day. I can’t say I have massively enjoyed the actual walking and lugging of massive backpack although the strength and physical barrier pushing have been good for me to go through. I LOVED walking barefoot on the moss! And today plunging myself into SUCH cold water: a pool under a little waterfall just when I was needing a cool-down and invigoration boost to aid me on my walk. I do also love the fact that everyone else is doing the track in the other direction, it’s just plain funny if nothing else. I have run out of nothing, eaten some yummy food of which I even feel I’ve had the privilege to be indulging in (chocolate, organic peanut butter, even the ‘Backcountry Cuisine’ tomato pasta meal), drunk tea, coffee and hot chocolate in the middle of nature miles from any town and all without the use of DOC huts (well, except for that one cheeky water-boiling incident) or paying camp fees. SO much nicer to do it this way even if money wasn’t an issue – but I’m glad it was because it made sure I did it this way.<br /><br />This time in a week I’ll be in Christchurch on the eve of Mum arriving. YAY I am so lucky and happy to be alive and experiencing this and ringing every last drop of enjoyment I possibly can out of everything I encounter.<br /><br />________________________<br /><br />If you're reading this - WELL DONE for making it to the end of that marathon. Blimey that took hours to type up! Um...and it is now half a week since Mum went BACK to England, we had a great time, but I won't write any more just yet, i think we all need a rest.<br /><br />Love to you as always<br />xCuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-60512585255960418752010-01-16T17:39:00.003+13:002010-01-16T18:40:57.379+13:00The last 4 months....Since my return to New Zealand in September 2009..... here's a quick round-up!<br /><br />Christchurch chill with Phil and Xena, mini trip with him and Josh to Wellington for Spring Equinox party, South Karori community, outdoor firebaths, Marama the cuddling cat, dumpster diving soup making with Ben, Rainbow beginnings..ferry to Picton and Rainbow scout circle in Takaka, night drive to Chch. Back to Hereford and Dolls House work for next 6 weeks to raise cash, highest earner for the club 2 weeks running, so many moments here, learnt a lot more, developed, struggled, challenged....choreographed and performed fire strip show...memories of how the time panned out are pretty faded now. Some harrowing experiences, some sadness at my slight love obsession, some good times though - eating well, playing guitar, reading Nomadology, having lots of phonecalls home, Skype chat with Beechwood, telepathic communications with Joel, with Olly. A definite winter-hibernation type period. A week to chill and try find a new tent...<br /><br />On the road again! -to the north with Bruce, Sam and Mary to Naki Burn, big fire celebration, spinning my old staff, leaking tent, hot pools, Wilderland, Auckland, evening with Dan, cuddles with Karl, back in Bruce's van and overnight in Hamilton with Zara, Kiwiburn work weekend such such fun snorting hot sauce and waxing boys' privates, dancing to Spice Girls and hanging with the Kiwiburn crew. Back down to Welly and Te Papa the next day, also City Gallery Japanese exhibition yellow polka dot room, ferry stowaway then back to Chch, next day new tent finally the right one for me, get tooth fixed, night at Fat Eddie's then up late drinking and making phonecalls, hitch to Dunedin, stay with Amethyst, up at 5.30am some excellent rides with truckies and friendly folks I make it to Queenstown for 12.10pm to meet Holly at last, afternoon lazing, Fergburger, mojitos, paste!, World Bar dancing to shitty tunes and trying to avoid the drunken boys, back to Bryce and Alex's, hungover Xmas decoration shopping, decorate the tree, roast lamb, 3am chocolate fondu, shy cuddles, giant Sequoia, nose around fancy house, oversleeping Holly misses her bus, chocolate brandy fondu, first ever blue cheese non vomit-inducing experience!<br /><br />Hitch to Dunedin, Otago museum giant Moa skeleton, scone and bisciut baking, Amey's birthday in the gardens, wine drinking and kitten cuddles. Hitch to Chch on the way visit Moeraki Boulders and other inland amazing rock formations, Elephant Rocks, whale fossil, back to Christchurch for the evening and oat cookie baking, then morning hitch up to Rainbow Gathering...<br /><br />Beautiful bush valley, streams, waterfall, cave sleeps, no power, no phone signal, lovely people 42 countries represented. Cheeky mice, freedom space nature cuddles smiles so many beautiful eyes. Christmas Eve Owen Melanie and Phil surprise appearances. Food circles, bakery cookies, pizza, hot sauce injection. "Are you allergic to duct tape glue?"Dawn chorus without sunrise. Firewood missions, washing in cold streams, welcome centre help, talking circles, epic talking circle crazy experience shouting crying connecting with other beings who know what or how but something powerful occurred, amazing Christmas Day almost totally void of Christmas references just lots of lovely times with lovely people, Shyness, oh the shyness with a certain Lithuanian. Fat massage walking on back. 4 hour mission to make text/phonecalls, alter plans, stay for New Year, psychedelic New Year mountain sunrise, cuddle puddles, mud bath, outdoor firebath, harmonica jam with Eran on guitar at LAST i know how it feels to have telepathiuc music-playing connection, signs for Yalla, chai chai chai yum! Singing loud loud with Strypey at the Maori ceremony, making porridge in the dark, salad facilitator. Reciting Yes and singing Guillemots 'We're Here' to 50 people at the night-time talent show at the woodland theatre....<br /><br />Lift to Christchurch airport, oversleep missing morning flight, extra $70 transfer, up to Auckland and on the road with Hikiokoi....Whangarei, Mangawai, Opononi, Leigh. Waioura Forest huge kauri trees, collect Katie K, amazing pizzas, mass cookie baking mission, van mish to New Plymouth after lunchtime Auckland chilltime, morning hike up Mount and then off to Parihaka. Beautiful to be back here, feels like home, I am remembered:"is that really you Kat?!"...amazing musical dancing times, feel the love and joy, joining the Parihaka choir, 'Woke up this moring with my mind...stayed on freedom....El Pueblo unido jamas sera vencido". Singing in a choir is soo much fun! Cabaret stage beautiful jams, Sunshine, Tiki Taane and Kapa Haka awesomeness, acid trip dancing to fat fat music and Katie's energy buzz, photographic roulette, ridiculously beautiful sunrise, birdsong visuals, hangi deliciousness, Hikoikoi dancing times, choir performance on main stage as rain and thunder kicked in and we ended the festival, shelter backstage free food and chats...<br /><br />Travel back to Wellington via Mount Taranaki and waterfall visit, chilli dinner by deserted warehouse, singing to keep James awake. Paul and Leanne's beautiful bush house, day of rest and washing and porridge biscuits, celebration dinner. Morning car hire from Welly, stereo search and eventual departure 2pm from Welly, drive to hot pools via Desert Road. Huka Falls in the dark! Car battery dies, morning AA wake-up, hot pool lazing, Rororua blue steaming lake, Redwood walk, blue lake dip and green lake viewing, Abracadabra amazing bar buffet meal and Moccachino in the sunshine, drive to Auckland ridiculously awesome sunset, addicted to sunsets through sunglasses ha! Wake up in the car to see sunrise over city, mission to airport, say goodbye to Katie, bus it to Big Day Out, have hardly any work to do then bounce to Kora...hot donuts, Mars Volta on half a tab, moshing, exoskeletal, el via, yes yes Cedric gyrating and so powerful to sing along to! Muse rockin so close and so together like the old days fat tunes and piano solo, Groove Armada in the Boiler Room, so much joy and laughter, walkin home seeing beautiful trees and that big bud and white flowers smell sooo good. Night-time dip and then today, I finally meet my blood relative cousins Jennifer and Jason.<br />.....<br />Another day here in Auckland and on Monday I fly to Christchurch from where I will travel to Golden Bay to go and help set-up and work on Luminate festival. Gonna be there for a few weeks, off internet radar again.<br /><br />Sorry it's not the most descriptive of blogs but better this than nothing at all. Maybe sometime I will actually get some decent space to write something proper for you all.<br /><br />Basically I am falling more and more in love with this country, hopping about all over the place and having a great summer. There is so much going on here it can be tough to make decisions or commit to anything because going with the flow works so well and at any moment things can change and take you in a different direction. Important thing to know is that it's ALL GOOD so whatever you decide, there's so much enjoyment to be had. Looking forward to Mum's visit next month and explore Southland and Fiordland, a whole new world completely.<br /><br />This country is beautiful, the people are fun, innovative, friendly, the energy is strong, the land in amazing, the birds are fantastic, new and exciting things are everywhere and I am feeling the buzz again after a few months of toughness and social recovery when I first got back here from my round the world jaunt.<br /><br />I'd like to find time in the next few months to write more about my travels and look into publication in print somehow, but in the meantime I'm going to be accumulating more experience and sharing more love and joy.....CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-1516702587584026112009-11-16T00:37:00.026+13:002009-11-17T08:30:17.739+13:00Burning Man.....<div align="justify"><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoA1RQX4gs2Yrbis7qexniJ5eK3L1wrVnPt0cZwWGqF5B1qbIq6DMS2kjptsdjtTEmSeVRMMBS0q-27CROvrzd1NPQ0xhuCNGVz70BFxknjSKyVkShnXMLtcVTfAm6j0iS1BVyaSjL3A/s1600/jabba+group.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404757119733018802" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoA1RQX4gs2Yrbis7qexniJ5eK3L1wrVnPt0cZwWGqF5B1qbIq6DMS2kjptsdjtTEmSeVRMMBS0q-27CROvrzd1NPQ0xhuCNGVz70BFxknjSKyVkShnXMLtcVTfAm6j0iS1BVyaSjL3A/s320/jabba+group.bmp" border="0" /></a> Burning Man is...<br /><br /><br /><br />.... trying to explain to people before, and after, the event, is so ridiculously difficult! But if you have never heard of it then you need something to go on, right? My first knowledge of Burning Man came at a festival in England about 4 years ago where I met someone who was gushing about having just come back from the most life changing and beautiful experience, showing me videos on his iPod of this city that exists in the Black Rock Desert in Nevada that about 40,000 people call home. For one week a year. These people don't spend money on anything but ice and coffee - everything else is given as gifts to one another. They build massive pieces of art, one in particular being a sculpture of a man that lies in the centre of the city and gets burnt on the Saturday night, accompanied by huge displays of fireworks, performers, music, and people having a beautiful time together, loving each other and being free to be as expressive and explorative of themselves as they choose.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikF3nThDP7VnW1y1YGjWBxnF4h1ujUhMpyX_HCCzBaRoq9ZEf0yqQX48IGjsUy_PgpDeB2lXfFEqaYyZxgxGwUDDSRYr7N0ZFt11UomMkEdkR_sJqLM-2X52rssoxo43pf23IOe4xHDw/s1600-h/man+dusk.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404310533287099090" style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 213px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikF3nThDP7VnW1y1YGjWBxnF4h1ujUhMpyX_HCCzBaRoq9ZEf0yqQX48IGjsUy_PgpDeB2lXfFEqaYyZxgxGwUDDSRYr7N0ZFt11UomMkEdkR_sJqLM-2X52rssoxo43pf23IOe4xHDw/s320/man+dusk.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Burning Man is a festival like no other festival, where everyone is a participant. The story of my journey there involves a blog earlier in the year where I explained my part in Kiwiburn, the NZ regional event, where about 250 go and celebrate the spirit of the mother festival. So when the opportunity came up for me to get myself to the US at the right time, alongside my dear dear friends from Bournemouth (who have been going for the last few years and have fuelled my curiosity and desire to attend) I simply couldn't resist.<br /><br />So now it's November and I still haven't written my Burning Man (which takes place in Aug/Sept) tale and feel I really, really have to do this, for myself if nothing else, for the memory, and for the reflection of what was one of the most epic and unique weeks of my life.<br />Evolution was the theme of this year's festival and the questions raised by the Burning Man website (<a href="http://www.burningman.com/">http://www.burningman.com/</a> SUCH a comprehensive site for info and to help you get your head around it) were:<br />what are we as human beings<br />where have we come from<br />and<br />how may we adapt to meet an ever changing world?<br /><br />My preparations for Burning Man, since I was in England before flying to LA (from where I would travel to the site) were all a bit rushed and feeling very incomplete because I was spending as much time as possible with friends and family and not organising myself properly so I actually felt really freaked out and unprepared when I left London. However, thankfully I had quite a few days in LA to sort stuff out and that included obtaining a bicycle (pretty essential for easy desert transport) and organising a ride to the site, as well as getting hold of the tools required to make my gifts of lighter and ashtray necklaces for people. One fantastic thing about BM is their Leave No Trace ethic which actually gets strictly adhered to by the public, yet smokers dropping cigarette butts is something that really grates me, hence the manufacture of ashtray necklaces with empty photo-film canisters (thanks Travis for getting hold of these), fishing wire and beads. So, a Burning Man bike needs to be beautified, and here's mine...<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHrvjPx6C4Szuqb1ZCApdwHTOgernTahAUauNMUj25_oFVBMjjcrcGb6dq99Oj0vDlrzp4bEG-jNdECrauu1KuGs-pIyxiflm6oj7RsAgQ_mwfO5NLBQyhVValN3SL27fni0_Sya1_oA/s1600/DSCN3274.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404714131017184050" style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHrvjPx6C4Szuqb1ZCApdwHTOgernTahAUauNMUj25_oFVBMjjcrcGb6dq99Oj0vDlrzp4bEG-jNdECrauu1KuGs-pIyxiflm6oj7RsAgQ_mwfO5NLBQyhVValN3SL27fni0_Sya1_oA/s320/DSCN3274.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Photos of BM are endless, I only had my camera out on I think two of the seven days because it's ALL stuff that's worth photographing, everything is beautiful, there's so much you've never seen before and if you have seen it before then it's never in the context of this incredibly beautiful setting; so really you have to accept that you can't photograph it all! The link for my photo album on facebook is as follows and if it doesn't work because the date changes in time then add me as a friend (Kat Drew). For this blog I have borrowed a few from the dear Jim who gave me a ride to the fest because he's got some of the Man (I have NONE!) and photos can describe it a lot better than words can!!.... and the rest are taken from my facebook album and from friends' photos:<br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=157418&id=717265427&l=224f88ae01">http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=157418&id=717265427&l=224f88ae01</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><p align="left"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404308243948612050" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ9VzuFFAeAopiAuNnkPNjRHDLuc6Y2VPds1dgnCp7s2WDJ6xE13IU4zkZ_Pg6BqFe7ZrttW6ldQvAdPOzQ1XMumA0TwDuzNJWp9nF9wB8MVLQaJsVjQ5txvtt26X61-A8geZtXkx0-w/s320/man+day.bmp" border="0" /></p>The photo above shows you the man and his complex lattice base made entirely of 2x4 planks that look so hickledy-pickledy in how they're joined together yet perfectly chaotic - actually you can see this better from the close-up below which also gives you a sense of scale in preparation for the photo later on of the man burning:<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404759794047480818" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 213px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS5iFEF18blwSfuNPmGmz3xubt84jJaF2vmt2h53zg9yds4NSUAkQq27ZDL_p18XF1drTsRYgj6kkgBR4fIrg-pJNrNfiPNzrwgP_357OEWU4LQB08lNDKSyv-NQzSWuQnJhTGFWXLUw/s320/man+close+up.bmp" border="0" />Right, enough Man photos, like i said i could go on and on with photos but this is a starter to give you a sense of scale, really i want to describe everything that I saw and that happened to me but i know this is impossible, yet i need to archive the memories and being the unstoppable mind analyst that i am, there definitely needs to be a certain amount of analysis as well, for my own self-indulgent psycho-therapeutic desires. I hope you understand.<br /><br /><p>So, now back to the Evolutionary questions....some sort of structure for me?!!<br />What are we as human beings?</p><br /><p>Well in the Black Rock Desert we are many many things. First we are creatures of preparation and survival - it's a totally arid and hot environment 4000m above sea level with alkaline dust on the ground (this desert is a dried up lakebed, it's not sand, and it's referred to also as the playa, which would be confusing if you know Spanish since playa means beach, but I digress) so not only do you need heaps of sunscreen, water and nutrients you also need vinegar to put on your skin to neutralise the alkalis and if you go bare feet for any length of time they get dry and sore (this I did do one night, um I believe at the end of Naked Day, yeh that story is one that comes much later on...). Luckily as I said I had the time to sort out things beforehand and the ride I arranged to get me from LA to the festival (thanks Jim!) had not only space for me my bike and my stuff but a friend in Reno who we spent the night with and from where we had a base to get all the necessary food and water supplies before heading off to hit the festival when the gates opened at midnight on Monday 31st August. </p><br /><p>The night-time drive in is the point here at which I am going to do my present-tense shift because I just LOVE writing as if it's happening now. It was now, then, if you catch my drift.</p><br /><p>So anyway here I am in this truck it's a clear night sky with masses of stars and a bright moon lighting up the Sierra Nevada mountain range that we're driving near, along the single track road leading to what they call Black Rock City. The closer we get the more RVs, cars and trucks we see, some loaded ridiculously high with gear and bikes and all sorts of building materials, a long snake of tail-lights heading off like some sort of pilgrimage to the middle of nowhere. The excitement is...very exciting! I still don't know at this point how some of the other English contingent are going to get from the airports to the festival but as I have been informed and understand the truth of, the playa provides....</p><br /><p>We join the standstill point of the queue in at 12.15am...it doesn't take long to get to the gate, 3 or 4 lines of all sorts of vehicles inching along and I'm totally happily watching all the loads and wondering what everyone is planning on building with the stuff they've brought... it's nothing like an English festival where the general public bring a tent and sleeping bag and food and beer; at this festival people build entire theme camps, things you could not even begin to imagine anyone would have the idea or audacity to create, get created! Outrageous ideas carried out by people like you or me who have used nothing but their own ingenuity and motivation to make it happen! I have to pick up my sponsorship ticket so we get diverted into a different line and it takes a good while to get through it...whilst we wait I'm standing on the playa, bending down and feeling the dust between my fingers and the reality of what I have been reading about and getting actually quite nervous about, is right here and feeling great!</p><br /><p>Once we're in we drive down the long track past signs displaying various thought-provoking quotes about evolution, the theme being set in our minds, I am gathering a sense of what this could all mean to me, the symbiosis of nature and technology...more on that to come. I go through the greeter gate at which point Jim explains to the greeters that I am a 'virgin'. So a box is drawn around my feet in the dust, I'm told that inside the box is who I am, outside it is who I may be, and to jump out of the box and hit the giant bell in front of me shouting 'I am no longer a virgin'. I scrub the box out with my feet instead, and wack the bell: YES I'm in! We find the site where Jim's friends have parked up and then Jim and I go on a bike ride to try and find Bacon Without Borders, which is the theme camp I'll be with. BWB is a camp that's been running for several years, based mainly out of LA, the contingent from the UK this year being bigger than ever as our trans-continental counterpart Olly has spearheaded the connection. There is such a massive backstory to all of this it's not even funny...I remember last year sitting with Olly on the bench outside Beechwood (our house in England) as he showed me his bar menu with all manner of different infused vodkas that he'd organised to bring to the festival; herbs, meats, sweets, allsorts! This year he's built a bar, alcohol is coming from many sources and much of it is infused with bacon! there's also PAIN - his bottle of vodka that's been stuffed with chillis for months.<br /><br />Can't find the camp, seems not much of it is set up yet and no-one i know is here, so I go for a ride out to see the man and then return and sleep in Jim's truck, heading off in the morning to find camp. Waking up to see the playa in daylight I'm amazed and excited yet also quite hugely overwhelmed and daunted by everything, you know how it is when you just don't really know what to do with yourself because everything your senses are receiving is so different and alien and even though you know it's all good, it's still daunting? I find BWB finally and meet some of the folks there, get Jim to drop all my stuff off with them and start socialising but even when Lisa arrives all dressed up and excited to see me I still feel a little bamboozled and lost! Not worried though just unsure what to do with myself.....</p><br /><p>So we go off on a bike ride and I recall my first time at Glastonbury when I went wandering with Sooz and felt so envious of her ability to go up to people and make conversation and get involved in things, I have come such a long way since then but feel that sense of shyness again for some reason! Like I said before, you don't spend money at Burning Man, everything everyone gives to each other is because of the pure joy of the act of giving and I LOVE this principal yet find it difficult to accept gifts...</p><br /><p>As I type this I am listening to a DJ mix compiled by DivaDanielle, one of the girls within the bacon crew. So many elements to this part of the story - put simply, BWB is about bacon, booze and beats, so it features these three things mainly, and done well - lots of bacon cooking, a geodesic dome with a fat soundsystem, several really good DJs, a bar, bacon infused whisky, chilli infused vodka, a hexagon theatre with video projections, and two art cars, one of which is designed as Jabba's barge from Star Wars and carries a yummy soundsystem, so basically it's a moving party! The other is called Snow Job and sprays out snow made by pushing ice blocks through industrial fanblades. Genius! </p><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbGH4hZUlOWII7PhFhS9cMQyErstdMfWVbx7KgHRjHAsmRuQ_va7kn-htESCBVUGVM65BuFIKemKT0nhOoOAq6iadT62R0ydp4Vxe2TkiBHtRvqd4rot_P2_WpiMDD61luImuJGMipzg/s1600/DSCN3414.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404718291172138898" style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbGH4hZUlOWII7PhFhS9cMQyErstdMfWVbx7KgHRjHAsmRuQ_va7kn-htESCBVUGVM65BuFIKemKT0nhOoOAq6iadT62R0ydp4Vxe2TkiBHtRvqd4rot_P2_WpiMDD61luImuJGMipzg/s320/DSCN3414.JPG" border="0" /></a></p><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404726901651575314" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVYJ-HxNaKR24kt0kGK1u_6w5KrkFeRZ1okByMvhT5ToVXKO6Z4NADKq_-tA7qGxo82i_X-QjjsYnAfw_I3Z986o03GLTDE1DwaF8BKPnnX9D8bkBAJVnBrASaytOnrMa9Wd9gQysr9g/s320/DSCN3447.JPG" border="0" />Hearing this DJ mix is reminding me of the night I was out on Jabba while Danielle was playing the tunes, trundling along at 5mph with a perfect amount of fun bumpiness, having a boogie whilst watching the playa-by-night, a whole other world of neon-lit people, bicycles, mutant vehicles and art installations, sounds coming from every angle, wind blowing gently and a bunch of talented and individual people all riding together while this music plays and the lady playing it is clearly loving it and so are we and where else could anything like this ever occur but Burning Man?!! Anyway I digress here but this is going to be a tough one to explain as the memories come back in random order! Travelling on Jabba was so much fun, a great way to take in the event whilst being part of an ongoing 'something' and not having all your physical energy drained through endless wandering from place to place. Especially when we get taken to the giant astroturf slide!!</p><br /><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivpIKwvHIsI_ebQUbT1jOeaSOkCJzk_q5CKfGNsvCNDaxyJv6WFVIvzHs6EYKBJItl3ZlyV-4euYJDgVuwA5EV83LFi26pblznhqce4PUfjpmvvU4PavSnB-4cPurefGgTFFV3DoAtmg/s1600/DSCN3452.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404719109382872674" style="WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivpIKwvHIsI_ebQUbT1jOeaSOkCJzk_q5CKfGNsvCNDaxyJv6WFVIvzHs6EYKBJItl3ZlyV-4euYJDgVuwA5EV83LFi26pblznhqce4PUfjpmvvU4PavSnB-4cPurefGgTFFV3DoAtmg/s320/DSCN3452.JPG" border="0" /></a></p><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404757129246494898" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHfUGmIXhl4pvG6DJYb8BdGRJl3C9EDGY0ZBzVQPMklCE7v-Pt-VAQtsRzfN6fsJ0au4ln6D1lB_iMXJBi0OglYAK1zxIolt0ZZq41EWbouVIi88ZvnxsV7_GYRbWBsRGYQMLjwnr5Tw/s320/naked+slide.bmp" border="0" /><br /><br /><p>Cleanliness in the desert is so much less of a concern than you imagine it will be. Clothes get worn multiple times (or not at all as our pact to spend an entire day naked took place on Friday and yes we did go on the slide naked as shown above!), sleep occurs at random times, wetwipes are wonderful things and you can't do anything to avoid dust getting everywhere, especially when the high winds kick in and you can barely see where you're going. That's why goggles are an essential playa item as well as a constant source of water. It takes its toll though, after a few days the altered environment, sensory overload and sleep deprivation has an effect. So much so that I wake up on a drip on Thursday morning, having spent the night up partying and then gone to the Earth Guardians camp from where I had planned to join their ecological restoration project outside the city boundaries. I assume it was dehydration that made me pass out although I have no recollection of feeling unwell. After an hour and a half out cold and a load of fluid fed back into me via the drip, I return to camp and attempt to sleep. Sleep does not occur, but a lot of lying down with eyes closed and complete inability to switch off mentally from all that I think I am missing!</p><br /><p>But wait, I have just skipped forward about 3 days! Well okay then, reverse, back to Monday...gradually i get to see everyone I know as well as Lisa, show up - UK folks Olly, Holly, Jon, Henna, Spud and Reza. Monday night....ummmm? General hanging out, probably involved a trip out on Jabba...need to check with the others. ah hahaha I remember managing to drag a load of people out to 'Mojito Monday' where we spent a good hour or so drinking shots of beautiful mojitos, during which Henna and I went for a toilet trip, she got her wedding dress caught up in her bike chain and then we're lying in the middle of the path in a bit of a dust storm trying to untangle her...random laughable events like this happenning all the time! <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404726896783247266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN7LmCGIXbao2cAJ-kkhnbBagSODTSwlvhctYJ6BtWM8pBzohz3MAI9tsZxwx9LRJwOlPjKgGNItX2ZbOKH4W0qaFpYsmqVnyTLnCALfmxuJm3tHQiqhmsogg7DCAFUdbQP21lxQ5aBg/s320/DSCN3368.JPG" border="0" /> I can't list exactly what happened can I, it will take too long. A big group of Kiwis are at the festival who I know from my involvement with Kiwiburn and they're camped really near BWB so I keep going to say hello to them which is cool although after a few days i realise I am really unsure of who to actyually stop and spend time with because there are so many people I know at this festival so decide I really should focus on who I am camped with... </p><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir-e-K1u07akMRsyEhy4EJ_37t0G7PW2k0s-6q5jf0OOUQH3OFkWgSUi50uuakEQSCtKEV9Bte76pUm0oAazStkeNHdcSNg6Li6IXiWMo4a5WCYW3LxKMCrkKE0sWvoMgRC4m0V7-ylQ/s1600/DSCN3367.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404722413726898194" style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir-e-K1u07akMRsyEhy4EJ_37t0G7PW2k0s-6q5jf0OOUQH3OFkWgSUi50uuakEQSCtKEV9Bte76pUm0oAazStkeNHdcSNg6Li6IXiWMo4a5WCYW3LxKMCrkKE0sWvoMgRC4m0V7-ylQ/s320/DSCN3367.JPG" border="0" /></a></p><br /><p>I do random assisting jobs with the setting up of the BWB camp on Tuesday when the dome (above) and bar go up, I get to get creative with fairy lights on the roof of the dome. But these guys are really organised, I mean, everyone is getting stuff done and setting stuff up, it's so beautiful to see and be welcomed into. I am amazed at the amount of effort and thought and finance tht has gone into it all, the creativity, teamwork and fun as well....and hey let me just say a massive THANK YOU for welcoming me into the camp and for all your efforts guys....it was such a pleasure to be a part of...</p><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404753210659318418" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHlM7M2jsIRUMuHb2LEOHAfJCV23B_xyZ-tVFtCsWvCGRlW7EvWwAyEeLD3YeQv6j92E2tqTA08Hae3kxSBvjSLim_3qh8GpcgwBrSrkkmefqgO2K0dvRs7O-9lLh-5AzBy1kgaXf4kQ/s320/DSCN3344.JPG" border="0" /></p><br /><br /><p>Chronology is proving to be impossible and I am in tears right now as I write this, I am not entirely sure why. There were times I was in tears at Burning Man as well. One was at sunrise on Sunday morning after the night of the man burn, I can hardly remember it besides being in absolutely intense floods of ecstatic tears of joy, when asked 'what's wrong' saying 'nothing's wrong, everything is perfect'! Another time of tears followed the shot of Olly's PAIN vodka which sent such intense spice through my body it had eyes and nose streaming for a good 5 minutes and proved to be a very effective cleanser for all that playa dust that was clogging my system.</p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404757125920618066" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ0HXBLI2IYBvrbDD57xmYaHRjhQWqz3dVh0PUXWuiKGiR2i5zN_T_1D9dg9A5m1ujH0ZTfo1X4A-4MAaalskq1l-_hVMIAmp3Q-TWMbNDsQQV8DILagWkKxE55nCpwpSFn2IA-KQepw/s320/kat+sunrise.bmp" border="0" /> (sunrise)<br /><br /><p>So why am i in tears now? Because I know I can't put words to all of this, because I am scared of losing the memories but don't just want to write down a list of what happened, because I am scared of what opinions I might uncover from my mind? Or because I am actually really not ready to analyse what doesn't necessarily need analysing anyway.</p>The temple was immensely beautiful....i cried every time i went there and I've not ever even had to deal with a close personal loss...<br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Vc3DjUQtXsHr9GLCZGdqlgrAnMzuxcO-YmzVjmk4BjABu3Jo5galRcjMRghVPiKMf0AoUABAXPwEVH5xfdBXOx4L5yufsfAY-CMO-sbk1gqjCQC_TsUsfn6FF4i1gI_KcAMyviRcfQ/s1600/DSCN3440.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404722424338453234" style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Vc3DjUQtXsHr9GLCZGdqlgrAnMzuxcO-YmzVjmk4BjABu3Jo5galRcjMRghVPiKMf0AoUABAXPwEVH5xfdBXOx4L5yufsfAY-CMO-sbk1gqjCQC_TsUsfn6FF4i1gI_KcAMyviRcfQ/s320/DSCN3440.JPG" border="0" /></a></p><br /><br /><p>Perhaps it's because the emotions and events of Burning Man were so vast, varied and intense that going back into that headstate right now as I type this is too much to handle. May sound crazy to the reader but it's the explanation I am coming up with. </p><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404757133713960354" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ2lOaEIetxVXdqLwuE9DgiFEJ3uZTLgYmQlBb4uidxkTIKgmB4UTxAibndhQtOI-ANwhSqk9FHw4nuK9Q1p3jYZzdZT_I2SgL-U6CeWm1DG9eV7nUBcKJxIijT-u2MYy5SQi-FBHIfA/s320/wonkywedding1.bmp" border="0" /></p><br /><p>How do I explain the pant-wetting joy of the Saturday night burning of the man following the day where I was 'best man' at Jon and Henna's third and very wonky wedding at the Mom sign, acid sugar cubes, my glowstick knot of confusion, the dust storm of complete and utter white-out no-one knows where the f**k they're going, following a whole night awake where I shed tears with Jon at the temple for his mum who left her bodya year ago, following naked day and the most intense full-moon-rise, following Infected Mushroom live and a night in the hexagon theatre. </p><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404758196268750274" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUIA5LoI7EK1GPRgCoZyMVwPX5EEFoiMIgEAibCiYT-JMn0D-9FQr1tnC6d-eUpnhAlb3_Fio10DzcT63uacYHmPW9MJAx-lBb1fm8ARlevM6jv-DG5WTAQhUQ_dxQ1Wpsmce1sQNUKg/s320/white+out.bmp" border="0" /></p><br /><p>I am telling this story backwards and realised what a massive chain of events occurred and how emotional and varied and intense (using those words again) they all were yet how I really cannot explain them, and do I even need to? </p><p>Here's the man burning:</p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-c_mGlvrkopRcAAuK9I2g5VKOvkcC3EMYKOIf_SPbyF4GvZfVu-tZZbm-Yxc44XU9MwW32ynWU1f6dBPphflZebtDWZDGMUnJP4ULfuvJ2wRC7x7WquvOOK0H17IlulVLFaQSvvfYPQ/s1600-h/man+fire.bmp"></a></p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404785438986073090" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 266px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJwXp-Bg0wA9boLT_FTf_Sv1Qou5OvodJA_rlpKU8Q76Qumcd1LZboC-YVBlm8l1Yaw_E0QcP1vphzjCyBewW6XJIic5KtjRSzYb9SwDDbjDHvbviJvN5XheuTXnBDF6YW7_E6BhSKXQ/s400/man+fire.bmp" border="0" /><br /><br /><p>Remember the photo earlier showing you the people standing by that latticework? Can you even begin to imagine how immense it was to be there when THIS was happening, after a dust storm in which you couldn't see a metre in front of your own face and where a group of us somehow managed to find ourselves standing in front of a giant metal sculpture of a woman holding a ball of fire, then the dust cleared and ALL the art cars are in a huge circle, people everywhere, fire performers everywhere, the biggest fireworks display I have ever seen in my life, music, lights, fire, vodka and vodka with Lisa and Spud, the man taking soooo long to burn and topple it was amazing, llike the best foreplay - seriously I know it sounds weird likening it to sex but there really were intense physical feelings associated with the burn and not in a sordid way - just really deep, visceral....</p><br /><p>So....walking up to the fire when it had finally become something walk-up-to-able, seeing people running through it, round it, lying naked next to it, standing still in the middle of it, I walked around talking to Douglas a man in his 12th year and it felt so good not having to have small talk conversations because this was someone deep...the crazy and beautiful timing of him saying 'you feel like jumping on an art car' and 30 seconds later me turning round and seeing Jabba, screaming out BAAAACON and jumping on board...then dancing to the oozy orgasmic dubstep of Bassnectar, so loud, so deep, taking Henna crowdsurfing. Passing out on Jabba and missing sunrise and the next thing I remember after that is lying on a giant trampoline having some of the most beautiful hugs and kisses of my life with Joel...this continued into the morning/early afternoon on Jabba whilst Reza DJd from the dome and...how on earth can I explain any of this? All i know is my realisation for this boy having the most beautiful eyes and hugs I have ever known, happened somewhere during the early hours of that morning, and developed from there, VERY intensely.</p><br /><p>I am sorry this blog has become a really disjointed and somewhat chaotic/panicked affair (at least that's how it feels as I am writing it) but at the time of writing I am on the last few hours of decent computer time I am likely to have for a while and I want to get this ON here but reeeeally having difficulty knowing how. Hence the splurgeyness of it. </p><br /><p>My attempts at decent descriptions began but didn't continue. So many things keep popping into my head at each and every moment I type another word, flashbacks of things that happened, tiny moments shared that would take 1000 words to explain, the order of events is becoming more clear to me but in reverse!</p><br /><p>I can imagine myself back into these moments, for some of them like I was not even within myself when they occurred but was observing myself from another perspective, yet at other moments I was so completelty present and aware that I had no thoughts or worries beyond pure love and joy for the moment. Like dancing with my Beechwood family to Infected Mushroom and feeling the urge to kiss them ALL; not that that's the important part; what's important is how we were all so happy and dancing and loving it together and the music was incredible...</p><br /><p>I suppose my questionning arises from the wondering of purpose. What purpose does this serve? What ARE we as human beings? The fueling of positivity is a great one to be a part of but it DOES take up a lot of money and effort for just that one week of Burning Man and so where is the 'real world' benefit? Burning Man call it the 'default world' - I like this - you know what, there were many instances at the festival where it felt like we were on a different planet, it seemed like being on the moon at night-time (the fact we were blessed with moon all night to light the way and be so beautiful - sunrise, moonset, sunset, moonrise, from total opposite sides of the sky, that's how it worked) - but point being that the instances where i thought hey maybe all us burners are really from another planet and this is our annual get together party only we don't realise it, or we do realise it but we can't comprehend it to a great enough extent to know WHY? Or maybe that's just me and my own confusion. I remember having a very distinct sense of our convergence being because we were about to be risen to some other place, dimension, planet....hmm, maybe if I explain now that the way the sky looked at night, the amount of stars, the moon, the size of Jupiter - the vast expanse of flat white land and crazy neon lights everywhere - the symbiosis of nature vs technology thing that I mentioned at the start - this is what I mean. Not that I am really explaining it of course, because I don't think I can, or know how. But it's left me with an even more open mind and greater misunderstanding of myself. Of the self i thought i had got to know so much over the last year. That sounds really odd I am sure.</p><br /><p>In fact right now I am reaching a point where I don't think I can write anymore. Going to slot all the photos into different positions and make sure some sort of sense is achievable from reading all this, time is nearly up for me with this computer and who knows when a good time will come again. So many beautiful memories and so much not shared here, which hey, is fine, but still, my analysis feels incomplete!</p><br /><p>The photo below was taken just before the first of us to leave left the site on Monday. The whole Bournemouth Bacon crew together for the last time in who knows how long, we're now spread between UK, US, New Zealand and Australia! Love you all, it was EPIC...x</p><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404757143704414562" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8s24J5FqfqIP9d3JlMHjzXMxXWhX66i_si8ih2Z8fuBummjnsKj6uvugJJLJ1pptTo7cNLFcZCgP_KrOgAo79tbCqGwnI_Sw2aYJ-2YUqsnceZbvVG6RF1-r6QnAjoqBScsXU7azUyQ/s320/jabba+bournemouth+bacon.jpg" border="0" /> </p><br /><p></p><br /><p>To reiterate the questions on the theme...Where have we come from and how may we adapt to meet an ever changing world? </p><br /><p>Good questions eh. I have no answers, only, that there are no answers, just more questions. Every Burner knows that right? The art is in the ceaseless asking of the questions, and the beauty of the exploration. Do we even want the answer? Maybe it wants us. Maybe I am being just ridiculously ambiguous because I am tired and have been working on this for so long. Well whatever the case i know I have only lightly touched on responding to the questions yet at the same time my level of emotion and experience variety is in itself an answer...actually I think possibly the Burning Man experience for me has been about something beautiful shared with friends, some new very strong bonds made, countless moments of utter joy, many moments of fun, some moments of sadness, confusion, all moments of interest and value. A lot of something that can't be grasped. A lot of it. Like being opened up in every aspect, masses of information thrown in but no comprehensible way of explaining it! And perhaps no need to. Learning to live more in the moment, helping to sense the non-existence of time in preparation for our minds eradicating it...?<br /></p><br /><p>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>little extra section....<br />other interesting memory-triggers for me and thought-provokers for the reader:<br /><br />female ejaculation workshop, limosine portapotties, best toilet experience ever - i had my own red light/bouncer, backwards walking and amazing shadowgames with jon, almost ending up in the orgy dome, bacon-infused Jack Daniels, peeing outside the trash fence, endlessly beautiful skies, Shqwine, Top of the Biscuit, healing(or not so healing as it turned out) zone, finding the couchsurfing camp completely by mistake exactly at the time i wanted to know where it was for the psy-trance party, sweet kiwi Al coming to find me, dream theater shadow puppets, actually the dream theater in general had many moments, bacon and plantain, mystical misfits camp and swing, digging out the tent stakes, this list could go on forever.......CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-27092043263107528792009-07-19T00:11:00.007+12:002009-09-24T15:22:59.966+12:003 weeks in Japan on NZ$500Right now I am sitting in a house in Tokyo just a day and 2 nights away from my birthday flight back to the UK and THE BIG SURPRISE when I show up un-announced at various places around England. I can hardly contain the excitement but then life for me is one big endless exciting thing so as you can probably imagine I am walking around nearly exploding the whole time!<br /><br />If you're reading this now then you're either a) one of the recently surprised-upon people, b) one of the people who knew about my plans or c) someone else with no idea what I am going on about. Whichever way here's a brief explanation... back in April Mum proposed an idea. Stating that she knew not when she would ever see me again she offered to pay for me to fly to England for a short while during the summer. So I thought about it and before long the following plan came to mind - do it (obviously!) but not tell anybody there about it! Hahaaaa! But wait, that's not all...next = get a ticket for my favourite UK festival; Secret Garden Party, where I know a heap of my dearest friends will be. Next = figure out places to stop and explore en-route to and from England. The 'from' is the easy part - go via the States and get myself a ticket to Burning Man, the massive arts festival in Nevada in Aug/Sept. The 'to' was a toss-up between Hong Kong, Shanghai and Tokyo (the options with Air New Zealand's cheapest flight offer). Hong Kong I have visited already, and for whatever reason I opted for Japan, and three weeks. Knowing very little about the place. Just a random 'what the heck' idea....<br /><br />YIKES!<br /><br />Next equals cue for endless quotes of 'oh my god do you know how expensive it is to travel in Japan?!' So here comes the fun part - I set myself a budget of NZ$500 (about £200) for my three weeks in this 'notoriously expensive to travel in' country.<br /><br />NZ$500 worked out to ¥29000 (yen). As I sit here now with one day and two nights remaining in Japan, I have about ¥6000 left. In the last three weeks I have eaten more food than ever before in a three week period, with more first-time-ever-trying food experiences than I can count on all fingers and toes, I have bathed in natural hot springs, stayed with Japanese families, bathed under a remote mountain waterfall, learnt origami, visited the oldest castle in Japan, used the biggest and busiest railway station in the world, navigated various railway and road systems, climbed to witness snow and ice in the Japan Alps at the beginning of summer, learnt some of a new language, visited beautiful temples and shrines and been blessed with the company of some of the most intensely kind-giving people I've ever met. There have been so many first-time-ever experiences, such richness of new culture, that I swear I must be guided by angels.<br /><br />I want to explain how this has all been possible on such a small budget. I guess it's a bit of a boast about how I have accomplished something seemingly impossible to many with such a long list of wonderful experiences to show for it but I make no apologies because I am bloody delighted and want to share my joy about my adventure and the wonderful people and places I have encountered, and show people it's possible to have massively fulfilling adventures on a very small budget!<br /><br />Can I just say that the weekend before I left New Zealand I was actually pretty apprehensive about the whole thing and still knew very little about the country and how I was going to spend three weeks there without spending a fortune, letalone where I was going to go and what I was going to do and how I was going to deal with the language barrier. So a few days of intensive internet research and some last-minute decisions were what occurred!<br /><br />I will move into present-tense now as I think it makes for a better read and conveying of story...<br /><br />So on this frantic last-minute internet-search sitting in a freezing-cold room in Christchurch New Zealand I sign up to WWOOF Japan, the organisation I have been utilising in New Zealand; they have branches across the world linking travelling organic-loving people like me with host families/farms who need extra pairs of hands in exchange for food and accommodation (and a whole lot more besides!) and frantically send messages to people up and down the country. I research language essentials and the transport system, freak the hell out about the amount of and price of trains, the number of people in Tokyo (36million in the Greater Tokyo area, the centre of which has twenty three special wards which each currently have the legal status of cities), marvel at all the amazing things that this country has, that I knew almost nothing about when I booked the flight, and consequently have serious nervous decision-making-incapability. At the same time I'm aware that I set myself this challenge and the nerves are all part of the experience, that I need these 'jump in at the deep end' experiences, that it's an adventure, that it will be a huge learning curve and much progress will be made from it.<br /><br />I leave NZ with my now-weighing-21kilos backpack (it was 16kg when I left UK) plus six A6 pages of notes, a handful of New Zealand stones, some apprehension, an open mind, and a VERY open book in front of me! On the aeroplane I indulge in quite a bit of brandy (making the most of the free stuff!) whilst I make my little gift parcels; pieces of paper on which I draw the kanji symbols for peace, love and happiness, and the symbols for explaining 'this stone comes from New Zealand', which I asked a Japanese air steward to write for me to copy. I then wrap each stone with each piece of paper and secure with red rafia (kinda like straw). These are my gifts (I was told the Japanese adore gift-giving) for host families and hitch-hiking lift-givers (more about that to come!) and whoever else I want to indulge in the joy of giving them to! Reeeally coool thing about Air New Zealand is that their in-flight entertainment system is super loaded up with New Zealand music - having still no personal mp3 player it's an absolute delight to get to listen to some of my new favourite music - Tiki Taane, Kora, Shapeshifter....<br /><br />I step outside Tokyo Narita airport a little dazed through brandy, sleep-deprivation, plane air-conditioning and Japan's heat and humidity. Having thought I'd spend my first night sleeping at the airport I decide against it, get handed a phonecard by a Japanese policeman (I have no idea how it happened either) and make the call to the one hostel whose number, address and directions from the airport I have written down (which also happens to be the cheapest in the whole of Tokyo by far - <a href="http://www.cheap-accommodation-tokyo.com/">www.cheap-accommodation-tokyo.com</a>) and proceed to make my way there. This requires a fair bit of faith and intuition, a few changes of train and walking and, well when I actually find the place there's a sign on the door for me to say they'll be late back. No worries, I rest and wait. I am actually by this time pretty delighted that a) I have a room for the night, b) I found the place and c) how beautiful my little walk from the station to the place was and how colourful and surpassing of worrying expectations my first sights of Tokyo are! It's 10pm by now. The hostel people return, are LOVELY, and I get guided to a different building which is where I will be staying, down a host of lovely little quiet streets with more greenery and quaintness than I would have ever imagined encountering in a huge city.<br /><br />Hmmm, at this point in writing my story I am beginning to realise that I have a LOT to share about this country and yet again am going to make statements about trying to keep it short and concise and etc etc etc....<br /><br />So how to experience Japan on a shoestring point 1 = stay at the cheapest accommodation you can find! This place was soooo lovely too!<br /><br />Next = eat cheaply, and this is actually quite possible since convenience stores here are full of chilled meals that are good. Well now, the food in Japan. This has got to be one of the best things about this place. So much stuff I have never seen or heard of or tasted before. I am so glad that dear friends of mine back in England (you know who you are) have prepared my pallette for this! The best food experiences though, come from the families I stay with whilst WWOOFing...<br /><br />So I only spend one whole day in Tokyo and literally wander the streets with no real agenda and just soak up the newness of it all, and the joy in the fact that local to my guesthouse are heaps of tiny traffic-less hickledy-pickledy streets full of beautiful old buildings and tiny ornate gardens. I then visit the free observation 45th floor of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building and gawp at the sprawling expanse of the city, which goes on as far as the eye can see in all directions until no more can be seen due to the cloudy-mistiness that it merges into. More wandering the streets follows, plus the investment in a language book and map of Japan.<br /><br />Next day I call and arrange to head to Numata, the location of the first WWOOF host I'll stay with. My decision-making process had gone something like: must get out of city soon, must get train but not far because far equals expensive, and must go to WWOOF host that I actually have the contact details of (it's kind of a lengthly process to get the phone number for WWOOF Japan hosts), and... know not to worry about it because whatever I choose will be new and therefore interesting and good!<br /><br />So I negotiate the trains (had looked up route, time and cheapest fare on internet, then spent quite a while at the station trying to explain my ticket needs in Japanese, we got there in the end due to the fact that people here are lovely, I'm trying real hard to speak the language and it's not as important to speak well as it is to try and make yourself understood and make the effort and be creative with how you do it), then I negotiate a bus (with no English words written or spoken to guide me besides the limited directions of the WWOOF host), and somehow get myself to the right place to be picked up and driven to arrival at the beautiful big traditional wood-built thatch-roofed tatami-mat-floored rural house of Sayoko and Kotaro Fujii. Short chats (they speak enough English to make understanding between us), a shower, the revelation that they have a tap with fresh mountain water coming out of it that is ALWAYS on because that's how much fresh water there is running through their property, and an early night. I'm in a state of continuous amazement at the beauty of everything and feeling a real presence, meaning that I feel so very much in the present tense, everything is new and interesting and beautiful and I'm feeling really aware and awake and alive because of it and the challenge is enthralling and does this girl ever stop going on about how great life is?!!!!!<br /><br />If I were to list every new experience with no description or story behind it whatsoever it would take another 2 or 3 times as many words as I have already written probably. How am I going to work this?! Can you follow this flitting between me, the narrator sitting here at the laptop and me, the person having the experience that you're reading about? Having an experience is one thing and takes a certain amount of time (not that time really exists but let me not get into that one), but writing about it in the present tense is basically reliving it mentally but with only words as a way of sharing it meaning in theory not just the same amount of time as the experience took to have but much more is needed in order to convey it. Umm...I don't have another 3 weeks to sit here and I am sure you don't either. What on earth am I going on about, sorry, interval, as Kat ponders the dynamics of journalising her travels. Cigarette break methinks.... ah okay okay I am not trying to promote smoking but they have a brand of cigarette here called Peace. How cool is that?! I don't even really like cigarettes but how could I not try these? They've got Hope ones as well! There are endless, endless quirky little things about the Japanese that I simply ADORE!<br /><br />...............<br /><br />As I thought may happen...weeks have now passed and I am in England and have many more adventures under my belt since Japan! Life is one big big adventure I say, everything is there to be relished and enjoyed, even the down times can be learnt to be enjoyed through knowledge of what learning they will bring and the need for contrast to make the highs appreciable... I know it seems like I am in a constant state of high but there have to be times of frustration, daunting-ness and self-doubt to be overcome for the highs to be felt.<br /><br />................<br /><br /><br />NOW - it is September and I am back in Christchurch New Zealand. Oh my oh my so much has hapened since I started this blog about Japan, it has been totally full on non-stop adventure, beautiful places and people and experiences, wow I feel so privileged and lucky to be alive!!!<br /><br />Hopefully soon I will have a bit of time to sit down and write all about England, LA, Burning Man, Vegas, The Hoover Dam and Grand Canyon, San Francisco and all the incredible journeys between, through and in these places. Right now I just want to get something posted for anyone who's interested, to have a look at.<br /><br />Miaow!!!CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-15091442191281419082009-06-27T20:49:00.006+12:002009-07-18T23:22:56.783+12:00Meditation, band-touring and snow loving....Yet again quite some time has passed and I have had a multitude of new and vaired experiences and no idea how to squeeze them into a relatively short piece of writing. After completing the meditation course in Wellington I wanted to sit down for at least a day and try and write about the experience, and now as I sit here sooo much has happened since then that it is hard to summarise.<br /><br />Mind you, perhaps it is easier because it's further away in the distance of time. So basically the idea behind the meditation course is that we're taught the practice of Vipassana meditation - an ancient Indian technique - to then go away and continue in our daily lives. In order to learn the technique we are required to adhere to 'noble silence' ie. no communication of any sort, with anyone, for the entire 10 day period. It's so that you can go inside yourself and feel alone, but to be honest the awkwardness of sharing living, eating and bathroom space with a whole bunch of people without even being allowed to smile at each other was a bit much!<br /><br />Roughly summarised the practise is an exercise in tuning into the body's sensations and bridging the mind / matter gap, that any cravings or fears felt in the mind are also present as bodily sensations and by observing the body's sensations whilst meditating, and not reacting to or judging them, one is tapping into the subconscious and removing pains built up over time in the mind. 10 days with your own thoughts - what do you reckon would occur? For me it was a time for looking over the events of my recent travels and thinking excitedly about what's to come. Apparently this is because I have a 'chattering' mind and the aim of the exercise is to quiet it down. But I enjoyed the thoughts! One thing I definitely gained was learning how to 'observe' the intense pain felt in the legs from sitting cross-legged for an hour at a time without moving. When I managed to do it, there were times that I really felt totally disconnected from my body, I wouldn't go as far as to say it was an out-of-body experience but it was quite a fun mind-over-matter game.<br /><br />I really wish i could share more but there's so much more since then that I have to catch up on...<br /><br />One of the things that camne to me whilst meditating was the idea that I should ask the band that my friend Owen had told me he was going on tour sound-engineering with, if they needed anyone else to assist. This I promptly did when I came out of the course and the way things worked out, yes they did! So about a week after meditation course I am on the road again!<br /><br />I'm not really feeling in the best mood for articulating my experience right now but this is the only good chance at some long internet free-time I'll have in a while so I will do my best!<br /><br />Basically the next two weeks I spend living out the back of the van with some wonderful musical people, sharing some great fun times, some hard work and some beautiful music. I work for the band by looking after door takings, merch sales, helping carry gear, set-up and look after lighting them as best i can with what's available at each venue. Also general helpfulness such as cooking and remembering things that people forget. It's a great way for me to expand my music-related experience, I've wanted for a long time to go on the road with a band and see things from the perspective of being on the road as opposed to fixed in the one venue like I was back in England. It's very easy to understand how bands find it so hard to arrive 'on time' now, with some nights not finding sleep til 4am then an 8am start to drive to the next town, stops en route etc....<br /><br />The band's called Hikoikoi, they're based in Wellington and are getting some great press and reviews, it's tough to categorise their music, it's rootsy New Zealand music with dubby, jazzy, reggae vibes and conscious lyrics. (New Zealand has some sweeeeet music by the way, I have found so much amazing stuff since I've been here and the people here are well into their multi-genre music appreciation!)...I couldn't have wished for a better first-time on the road, we all gel so well together and share some beautiful times....natural hot springs in the moonlight, after-hours drinking/chatting/jamming, van/trailor loading jigsaw puzzles, sleeping on floors & sofas, picnic by lakes & oceans, radio interviews, swine flu pollination (the running joke about the cold I dealt with half-way through the tour)... ah yet again too much to be able to summarise. Getting to know a band at the same time as their music, watching them evolve through each live show and being a constructive part of that evolvement in various ways is an incredibly rewarding thing to be part of and a blossomming mutual joy!<br />If you are on Facebook check out Owen's tour pics at: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=126106&id=625098227&ref=mf<br /><br />The tour takes me as far south as Queenstown at which point I bid the guys farewell and hop into my next place of lodging - with dear Bryce and Alex. From their beautiful flat overlooking the beautiful Lake Wakatipu and Remarkables mountain range, I venture out into the surroundings and complete the following tasks:<br /><br />Bungee jump -<br />Heading straight for the big one, the 134m high Nevis canyon jump. Sorry to say it but I wasn't as scared as I thought I'd be and so it perhaps was a bit of a let down. My god is there no end to my thrill-seeking?!.....so, on Bryce's advice I ask the guys at the jump-site about the rumour I heard that it was possible to jump a second time for free if you do it naked. It just so happens that AJ Hackett's (who invented the bungee jump) dad is present and he agrees to it. Now THAT is a liberating experience! Bloody cold, and a real buzz, flying free through the air with just a harness and massive elastic cord attached! For once I purchase the DVD of the experience to send Mum as a surprise birthday present!! Okay enough of naked Kat....it's the start of winter in Queenstown, there's snow on the mountains, it's time to get up into the snow....<br /><br />The mountain -<br />Being led on a starlit forest walk at 3am and connecting with the sky in a way I have never done before - something about the southern land, the high altitude and the frostiness, this was the closest I have ever felt to the stars, the most clarity I have ever seen them with. Staying up to watch the dawn of another beautiful blue-skied day. I cannot explain how epic the scenery is around here. I get a ride up to the skifield to have a look around and it's all pretty daunting and ridiculously beautiful. I have many photos but am unable at the mo to get them online due to a lousy net connection. Look up Queenstown Remarkables or Coronet Peak to find images!<br /><br />Snowboarding -<br />If I am going to spend a winter season working in a snow resort and learning to ski or snowboard then I need to see how it feels before I make the investment. So hiring of a snowboard, boots, borrowing of some padded trousers, gloves, goggles, and a few pointers and I head up the mountain to try it out. What FUN!!! Firstly, being up in the snow on the mountain is something I have never experienced in my life so that in itself is amazing! I am actually really enjoying it and not caring about falling on my bum (thanks to the towel padding I have shoved down my leggings!)..... I spend the day walking up the shallow slope and trying to figure it all out by myself so as to save the expense of lessons and lift pass. Beautiful sunshine, beautiful views...indescribable really.<br /><br />Skiing -<br />The following day I repeat the exercise this time with skis. Much harder. Possibility of legs going outwards in opposite directions very scary and falling over much harder to get up from! It's really frustrating, the boots are super uncomfortable and I am annoyed. I watch and listen to the lessons taking place and eventually manage to get the hang of turning and stopping but it feels way less comfortable than snowboarding. This I find amusing since almost everyone I spoke to before trying either, said snowboarding was harder to pick up. Now I've tried both I know which one feels better, so two days later I return to the slope with the snowboard and continue to practise...<br /><br />At this point I reckon I have pinpointed my issue with physical / extreme activities - what I need is something like snowboarding where I am actually in control in order to get that real rush. Jumping out of a plane is fun, don't get me wrong, but once you're in someone else's hands there's not really anything to conquer because you've already signed your life away, as it were. So the next step for me has got to be to take up snowboarding seriously and overcome some barriers.<br /><br />So that's the super brief version of what's been going on with me over the last 6 weeks. It continues to be very exciting and this country has no end of amazing experiences to be had. New envirnoments are everywhere and I am well and truly in love with the mountains and the snow. And no the cold isn't bothering me now because down in Queenstown you're only cold when you're outside and that's only to go from one warm place to another! It's the first time in my life I have been somewhere that people are excited about the start of winter and I am really feeling it too! Of course it helps that nearly every day has been blessed with beautiful blue skies and sunshine!<br /><br />Okay enough for now, surprises await.....CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-44279593772921725642009-05-13T12:49:00.003+12:002009-05-13T12:53:11.257+12:00A poetic something...I am on the verge of attending a 10 day Vipassana silent meditation course (<a href="http://www.dhamma.org/">http://www.dhamma.org/</a>) in Wellington. I am very very much looking forward to this!<br /><br />I wrote the following piece last week, kind of as a resolve to myself whilst going through some tough times emotionally. All part of the learning process, do not worry! Anyway I want to share it with you, it's inspired by my beautiful friend Phil Rickard...<br /><br />Distraction from the core, no more detracting where others reacting take the fruit away. Regrowth begins today, maintain the strength that's always there, deflect the cycles before the spiral envelopes and hangs you up to burn. Oceans inhabit the soul, the fish they swim free inside of me and inspire me to be a glider too. The sharks they circle in their consistent threatening masses but collapsing is something beyond possibility. Keep moving beyond the stiff cold and feel as you know you always have the boldness to swim through the circle, embracing the waves, gliding with them, playing in the surf like the dolphins do. Smiling, she continues, upholding the resolve to ponder endlessly the positivity that's the key, it's at the heart, come back to the start, where all this began, through love and compassion, reflective connection, mutual separation, embracing solidarity in solarity, clarity in solitude, empathy resumes once more, the neverending quest to relate, to communicate. The best things are never served on plates, no, give me a bowl, and a fork, it's fun to be challenged, so much fun to climb the mountain, so much beauty to be found when you surround yourself with puzzles. Or is the puzzle within? Whatever the case, strength and peace is at heart, there are no wrongs but for lessons not learned. This one is of endurance, patience, and what the hell is 'common sense' anyway? Save the tears for another day, for I am not sad, just in need of some refuelling, and resolution. The resolve is here, there is no fear, or at least none that cannot be embraced and enjoyed. You have more than enough love to fill any void.CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-32840494176723217852009-04-21T14:33:00.009+12:002009-06-27T20:48:51.383+12:00The word beauty is used a lot in this one...OK! Here goes. The last 3 months have been so incredibly packed with beautiful experiences, amazing people, creative expression, freedom, excitement, massive learning curves, fun... I could not possibly explain it all here, especially since right now I am being distracted by other people's conversations. I would listen to music but 2 days ago my mp3 player's hard drive packed in so now I have no music to take on my travels. Looks like I will be spending more time playing harmonica then! Which is cool because I bought a new one, in a different key to my last one. At first I thought it sounded really sad when I played it and was gutted that I hadn't just got the same key as before, however I persisted and now think it sounds even better and I am constantly surprising myself with my ability to come out with great sounds!<br /><br />So...let's go back in time, back to where my Parihaka blog left off (though if you haven't read the other short blog I posted recently then do that before starting here). I am really excited to be able to tell you loudly and proudly about all the things I have been doing, it's been immense....<br /><br />I return to Auckland to write the epic Parihaka blog and also work at Big Day Out, a one day touring festival where I take part in the first year of their Eco Team, aiding the public with making decisions about which bin to put their waste in (recycling/compost/refuse). The festival featured The Prodigy as headliners; the first band I ever saw way back when I was about 16. And that gig led on to so much for me, in fact it was a seminal event in my life when I look back and see what choices I made and experiences I had as a result of it. So to see them again with all this new perspective on life is amazing. I get right to the front section of the Boiler Room (a huge hot and sweaty dance marquee!) and fully let go with all the sweaty crowd, massive elation is felt by all!<br /><br />I travel to Wilderland, an organic farm / hippy commune in the Coromandel Peninsula. Full of beautiful old plum and apple and orange and avocado trees, a huge variety of different vegetables. I get to stay in my own little wooden house which has plants growing into it through the walls and a deck overlooking the estuary. It was serene and beautiful, a total wonderland. Great to be out of the city and back looking after plants and swimming in the sea to keep clean.<br /><br />At Wilderland I assist a fellow called Tim with the construction of a giant fabric pyramid for the festival Kiwiburn. Kiwiburn is the New Zealand regional version of Burning Man. Burning Man is a huge arts festival lasting 6 days in the middle of the Nevada desert, where the theme is community, radical self reliance, creative 'anything goes' expression and fun! It also involves absolutely no commerce, people take what they need and give to each other, the only thing you can buy there is ice. I really want to go to Burning Man so thought Kiwiburn would be a great way to get my head around the concept and reality of what Burning Man would be like. Burning Man is about 60000 people, Kiwiburn is 250 - a perfect starting point and way to experience the root essence of Burning Man!<br /><br />I take driver's seat for the 4-hour van mission from Wilderland, we arrive at night, one of the first vehicles to arrive for set-up. Over the course of the next few days we finish the pyramid, sewing fabric together with an OLD and almost dead sewing machine. Its base measures 13 metres and the fabric is bright white so sunglasses are essential! The pyramid construction is an EPIC mission, and once it's actually up, which takes about 3 days, I am exhausted and proceed to get stupidly drunk at the free bar night held by next-door neighbour camp SkullFuck. Someone shows up with a soundsystem for our pyramid, a guy called Owen who becomes a very important character in my life - Owen is the only person with the patience to listen to my moans and give me lots of cuddles, on the one day I feel really drained and vacant. The following day I get up early and go all out with decorating the inside of the pyramid with strips of fabric, silver ribbons, balloons, and other people show up with lights, lasers etc. It looks so beautiful! It's impossible to describe, or explain it all, I could write 10,000 words on the festival. It included such activities as a tea party full of cakes and chocolate and men dressed up as women, naked jelly wrestling (which I take part in!), a sail upon a makeshift pirate ship on a lake, a giant circle of people watching as the huge wooden 'man' burnt on the last night, fire spinning (I now own my own fire staff). Beautiful people, giving, partying, expressing themselves. It is also my first experience of San Pedro cactus juice - mescalin. This is a naturally produced perception opening substance that gives me a wonderful insight into my ability to create my reality as I wish it to be, to remember that this life of mine is my own experience and it's all about the choices I make and what I want to see in the world is what I can create. Like I keep saying, this is impossible to explain without many many more words!!! One thing I will say is it gave me the 'what the hell' attitude and confidence to stand in a field singing at the top of my lungs the verse of Guillemots song 'We're Here' which goes as follows:<br /><br />"Oh yes we're here, free to run and cry, obliged to try and nothing is worth winning without a fight, oh yes we're here, free to go insane, joy and pain I'll find it in the corridors inside, cause we are just seconds, seconds in a day....."<br /><br />Applause breaks out as I come to the end of my singing and I run away sheepishly but laughing and feeling super chuffed with my free expression! <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></span></span><br /><br />I stick around til well after the official festival ending during which time I assist with the packing up, the MOOP patrol (Matter Out Of Place - ie. litter - the Burning Man ethos includes an absolute Leave No Trace attitude), and the consumption of all the food and drink that had been donated by people as they had left. A LOT of fun was had! Another important part of the ethos by the way is 'If you see something that needs doing, do it!'....<br /><br />You can see a great photo album of the festival at the following address:<br />http://picasaweb.google.com/lumosnz/Kiwiburn2009#<br /><br />From Kiwiburn I travel back to Auckland and then jump on the ferry to Great Barrier Island, a 5 hour journey offshore. It's a huge island (do not associate with Great Barrier Reef!) with no connection to the main power grid. People are pretty much self sufficient over here and make their own power via solar panels, wood and hydro-wheels, there's some tar sealed roads but mainly they're gravel. SO it's rough and rustic and just what I need ... The landscape is big, the nature is dominant (only 600 people live here and it's a huge island), I stay somewhere where I have my own little cabin and separate outdoor kitchen and toilet, there's a creek running through the property which all the water I drink comes from and which I access by climbing down a bank through some trees, to find massive purple boulders, a waterfall, and a tiny cave with glow-worms in, a beautiful place to bathe and find solitude. One day I decide to scale the ridge on the other side of the creek as I am desperate to get up high and see some views. So barefoot I climb this steep bank through all manner of trees and shrubs til I reach the top and see stunning views of the tropical blue oceans and green mountains all around. I then find a different way down and go skinny dipping off a pier I find, then, still barefoot, climb round a load of rocks in search of the sunset but alas, the headland is too big to make it. On return to the house I meet the lovely Andy, one of the locals who a few days later I hook up with and spend a beautiful weekend with which involves getting a wonderful guided tour of the island and climbing to the highest point, Mount Hobson, from which the views of the island and the east coast of New Zealand are STUNNING. A very special connection was made with Andy and with the island. Oh gosh I nearly forgot, oh man how did I almost forget to add this...on the way to our little mountain climbing trip we drove past a bay where dolphins were swimming. So I stripped and got in and swam with them. Just me and about 8 dolphins playing in the waves. At times they were SO close I thought they might crash into me. I jumped around with them and stuck my head underwater and heard them calling. At one point the water went really still and they were circling me. Craziest thing is that when I was on the ferry on the way to the island I remembered having had a dream the night before in which I was swimming with dolphins, then a week later, it's what I am doing. The sunset from the mountain that evening is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen and, wow I am gushing with the memory and wishing I could express my excitement more!<br /><br />After 10 days on The Barrier and a much needed return to nature, space, time with myself and lots of amazing ornagic food, including heaps of fresh fish, some of which I caught and gutted myself, I return to Auckland and the next morning go to the airport to meet Mum, who is flying over to see me. I make her a sign and scream and make a massive fuss when she walks through the gate. She's just done a massive thing to fly over here on her own so deserves a big fuss, none of this quiet polite hello stuff you normally see at airports!<br /><br />During the space of 2 weeks Mum and I drive 3000km in our beautifully spray-painted rental camper van. Our journey takes us first to Tauranga where we spend some time with Owen who is such a beautiful positive inspiring person: when him and I are together we create this wonderful loop of inspiring ourselves to be ourselves more and it's all so positive and magical! Owen assists me in helping Mum to relax into the mode of freedom I am currently existing in and how to embrace change and be excited like a child at all moments you encounter. We take her to a bar to watch a big fire spinning performance put on by the fire performance crew he's involved with (many of whom were at Kiwiburn so it's good for me to see them again!).<br /><br />Mum and I then travel to Rotorua and vist all the steamy lakes there (it's a very volcanic region). We go to the natural hot pools, I teach Mum how to dig a hole in the bush to poo in (when you gotta go you gotta go, it's NATURAL) and then I learn how to breath fire. Mum watches as I stand naked in the hot pool at night blowing flames across the water. Epic! Next day we vist a beautiful volcanic valley and watch geysers and gorgeous rainbow coloured stones and visit a massive cave. Then after the short boat ride back to the van a heap of rain comes through the valley and once it's passed us we see what I'd rate as the most intense rainbow I have ever seen. A full rainbow that is so bright and whose ends actually go into the water that is only a few hundred metres away from us. Magic!<br /><br />The next day the impossible occurs. Mum does a skydive! I do one too, of course, and even manage to persuade them to let me do it barefoot (yes I have a bit of an obsession about learning to do things barefoot, and naked, as you will have gathered. Trying to be more natural!).... but yeh, wow, GO MUM! Needless to say she loved it! The next day we go on a trip to White Island which is an active volcano off the east coast that you can ONLY vist with a guided tour because it's actually the crater of an active volcano. No molten lava here but instead a multitude of different coloured stone, steam, acid lakes, wow it was so beautiful. The living Earth. Oh how I love it!<br /><br />We then drive to Gisborne, in order to see the sunrise over the sea the next morning from what is the first city in the world to see sunrise. We don't actually make it out of the van to watch it properly but are parked on a clifftop and at least peer out the window at it before drifting back to sleep.<br /><br />Heading to the south we stop in a town and pick up bakery delights from the place that won New Zealand's Best Cake Award. Pick up a hitch-hiker who tells us some wonderful stories of his travels, then visit a friend I made at Parihaka, in Otaki on the west coast. Spend an afternoon beach combing for driftwood, pebbles and watching birds and the ocean. Next day we hit Wellington and catch the ferry to the South Island. By the next morning we are in Nelson stocking up with organic veggies and beautiful food at the market. We take the drive to Golden Bay which is gorgeous and visit Pupu springs - the clearest natural spring in the world! Then we head to the west coast. Rough, rugged and stunningly beautiful. The South Island landscape is HUGE! We visit a seal colony, some incredible rock formations, camp by the beach, see some stunning coastal scenery and head south to the main destination for Mum - the Franz Josef Glacier. The day our glacier trip is booked for is rained off so we get kitted out with waterproofs and do the riverbed walk to the glacier face and get SOAKED, spend the rest of the afternoon drying out and drinking tea and the next day.....THIS happens:<br /><br />Awaken to sunrise looking at Mount Cook and the Fox Glacier, go for a walk around Lake Matheson, the famous 'mirror lake' which you see beautiful mountain reflections in...go and get kitted out and jump on a helicopter which takes us half way up the Franz Josef Glacier, where we get our cramp-ons (spiky ice feet) on and spend the next few hours stomping around on the ice, climbing through holes, surrounded by gorgeous bluey white ice and steep rock faces. It isn't even that cold, we're only just inland from the rainforest and here we are walking on a massive glacier. It's insane. It's beautiful. The helicopter ride back takes us over a ridge at a rate which pulls more G force than I have felt on any rollercoaster and invokes some intense screams of laughter!<br /><br />After the trip we head north again and stop in time to watch a beautiful sunset over the ocean. A perfect day. In the morning we see Kiwi birds in the local sancturary then head east accross the country through a massive variety of neverendingly beautiful scenery til we hit Christchurch and stay at Tim's house. Next day Mum catches the plane home after an action packed few weeks and here's me, back almost to where I began my last blog from.<br /><br />In Christchurch there has been a load of stuff happenening for me. First off is the realisation 'Oh my god it's COLD!!" ...it's Autumn time, the clocks go back, there are a lot of English trees around here so I get to experience the Autumn colours after a summer which has lasted since last May/June time. It's nice to experience the seasonal change and the casting off of old and looking towards the cosiness and dealing with coldness of winter. I am excited by it. The cold is difficult to deal with but it's a challenge I relish along with all others. Life is here to be enjoyed regardless of what is thrown at you you can make good and fun out of it...<br /><br />I spend my first week in Christchurch feeling a little vacant after Mum has left and take the opportunity to contact friends and family and catch up on emails etc. I also get involved in helping a beautiful couple to pack their shipping container - they are in the process of moving from Oregon to the Pacific island of Tonga. Out of this I make $200 and inherit a bike, which proves to be a great use to me as Christchurch is a flat city so with a bike I am totally sorted for getting around. I proceed to spend a few days relaxing in the Botanical Gardens which are full of a multitude of amazing trees, plants and flowers. It is in these gardens that I finally crack the art of bending notes on my harmonica.<br /><br />I learn how to dumpster dive (ie. fish out all the perfectly edible food that supermarkets throw away each day, from the dumpsters at night-time), I visit the art gallery, socialise with the array of lovely people I am currently living with and then have the absolute pleasure of watching the pianist David Helfgott performing in a tiny venue in the city.<br /><br />This is an epic night, I travelled alone on a bus to the Royal Albert Hall in London at the age of 17 to see this guy play, such was his level of inspiration to me, and now he's here doing an informal recital in Christchurch. What are the chances?!! There's an amazing story behind this but I might leave that for a while to keep the length of this blog down (it's long enough already I know!). Suffice to say; I not only get to speak to and hug him, but also am privileged enough to kneel beside him at the piano whilst he plays the piece by Rachmaninoff that I used to be able to play myself. His words to me are "Keep on smiling, and seeing into the future to keep on smiling! Positive is the key"... I am gushing and crying with joy when I leave the place!<br /><br />And next on the story is one that will surprise people the most - I'm sitting outside the library one day and look over the road to the sign saying 'Striptease'. The idea pops into my head 'hey I wonder what it would be like' followed shortly by 'maybe I should give it a go'... I sit on the idea for a few days until I realise I have thought about it too much to NOT attempt it! So I rock up to the strip club and ask if they need anyone to work. They say sure and I am welcomed in. What proceeds is such an interesting and enjoyable evening that completely defies all the negative warnings and advice I had been given by people and all the judgements I can almost read your mind that you are having right now as you read this! The place is beautiful and the people I work with are lovely. They really help me out and make me feel welcome and when it comes to getting up on stage I just go 'okay, here I am, it can't be that hard, just get up there and dance and feel sexy and take off your clothes and people will give you money'. Doing any moves on the poles is extremely hard and I have utter respect for the girls who can do it! I have so many interesting conversations that night, no sleazy men, just grown-ups having fun, it's exploitation of men more than women I reckon but regardless it's a whole lot of fun and a real confidence booster and yet another step in my learning curve of becoming comfortable with my own body. Also I walk away with about $200. I was actually doing it more for the experience than the money but of course it's a bonus! The girls are really into my individuality which is fantastic.<br /><br />A few days later I go on a camping trip to Mount Cook with another Kiwiburn friend called Munk. He's a DJ from San Francisco and is a beautiful soul I'm delighted to have got to know, and we have a fantastic time getting out of the city and spending some time next to the snow capped mountains, walking along a river bed next to glaciers and coming across a glacial lake with icebergs floating around it. Despite the hot ginger wine with cinnamon we freeze at night and wake up to frost but are blessed with beautiful sunshine throughout the days. We then head back towards Christchurch driving past this incredible glacial lake that is HUGE and the most intense blue it's almost the same colour as the sky, I am ecstatic at its beauty; we meet up with yet more Kiwiburn friends on the way. Party time at the weekend involves going to my first outdoor dance party, which is about an hour out of town in beautiful surroundings in a gorge. I take acid and dance (listening to trance music going 'I cannot believe I am not hating this!') and look at the stars and laugh and fall in love with nature yet again! Watching the sunrise and the scenery unfold is so joyous, I am walking around with such a grin on my face and such excitement and wonder about life and existence and the beauty of nature. Acid is an amazing drug and anyone with preconceptions about it due to lack of knowledge or experience would do well to try it, or at least read some of the positive stories about it and keep an open mind because my experience of it has been one of complete and utter beauty, joy, wonder and happiness!<br /><br />Back in town I am being indecisive about what to do next, and consider staying around since there's now a spare room in the house that I could actually call my own for a week and after some really helpful chats with a lovely man named Phil, I decide to stick around for another week to further my progression and save some money. So Kitten the stripper continues to play! I am glad of returning to the club because there is more to learn - more moves, more physical exercise, more opinions and interesting conversations, more to learn about myself, more feeling sexy and confident, and reconnecting with my music (I get to pick my own songs to dance to). I spend a wonderful week dancing and having fun at the club and also connecting with Phil, a wonderful soul who writes fantastic creative philosophical poetry that I gel with very intensely. "Freedom is past that wall in your mind. So why not go there and see what you find?!" ... We go through a lot together in a very short time and learn from each other and inspire each other and do a lot of positive goodness for each other. I love the fact that I keep on making amazing connections with people over here!<br /><br />And that pretty much brings things to right here right now sitting finally typing this up and figuring out what next. Do I stay and strip some more and earn more money (I have completed my initial goal of saving enough to pay for my visa extension, bungee jump and new harmonica) or do I head south, to the mountains, which are calling me to go pretty darn soon. They are so beautiful, I have never before in my life seen proper snow capped mountains until the last month.<br /><br />So we shall see.<br /><br />Thanks for your patience. I wish I could write more, actually I will....<br /><br />In conclusion what I will say is that I have really only touched upon the depth of my experience and learning and fun by describing what I have done over the last few months. Most of the REALLY interesting stuff ie. the big stories and emotions behind it all, are not really there in the list of happenings. People who read this might be a bit surprised at the variety and intensity of all the experiences listed here and wonder how on earth such things are possible and how do I get the courage and the time or how do I manage to find out about this or that etc. All I can say to that is that the more you believe in yourself the more good comes to you, the more you push yourself the more you learn and progress, the more positively you look at each situation the more you can gain from it. Also the more you desire to do good to others and look after them and to look after the planet, the more you get looked after! Of COURSE there have been times of sadness and doubt and indecision and confusion but they're all there to be embraced and learnt from and enjoyed as well. I am free and loving it. Anyone can do this if they want to. Your life is yours to make up as you go along. It's so much fucking fun!!!!<br /><br />I love you all<br />miaow<br />xCuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-83718934174259350642009-04-14T14:59:00.002+12:002009-04-14T15:24:59.220+12:003 months later...Hi... shy yet cheeky smiles as I look at the date of my last blog and realise it's been nearly 3 months since I wrote about Parihaka. I have been aware of the time delay yet wondering how on earth I am going to condense all the adventures, progress and inspirations into something that you will all be able to find the time to read!<br /><br />Hence I have been putting it off. And I still am in fact since it's a sunny day outside and I need to go and buy a new harmonica as well as socialise with the people outside the house I'm currently staying in. It's a huge place with 8 bedrooms in the city of Christchurch(NZ South Island), a massive old house with loads of character - it used to be a brothel! Most of the people living here are training at Circus School and involved in all manner of creative and socially conscious activities.<br /><br />There is a lot of partying here too! You know what, I may end up telling this story backwards, a section at a time.<br /><br />Right now I am actually about to go out and try and buy a new harmonica, since mine vanished a few weeks ago just days after I had finally managed to get the hang of note-bending.<br /><br />Blog might resume piece by piece this time, but I have broken the first barrier at last!<br />xxxCuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-41280412827201376742009-01-19T15:25:00.014+13:002009-01-22T00:33:16.052+13:00An English heart flooded by Maori spirit: Parihaka and its International Peace Festival<div align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirA08JFgnj5DtEKllOD2gEkk2iL7S7vFHPZULzLcOlhw6JoG_uRuBZ8cIjry67ARzX7yUCGKTLrZnGMcShU0c5DiNVAUNBtsT5qMuKlYc2L0UELW-4Ic6aAOA1mq8-Gyaw9yWX5Ivx3A/s1600-h/DSCN2587.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292834787191386130" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirA08JFgnj5DtEKllOD2gEkk2iL7S7vFHPZULzLcOlhw6JoG_uRuBZ8cIjry67ARzX7yUCGKTLrZnGMcShU0c5DiNVAUNBtsT5qMuKlYc2L0UELW-4Ic6aAOA1mq8-Gyaw9yWX5Ivx3A/s320/DSCN2587.JPG" border="0" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKyMF619Llv6Ta9uEMyy4eZ41WzbwIJ5PbVieG6AQj3gGv9hLSgDXxlw8AZqWsV9kD7Fl2I9jnlmXW1cajh5wFsIwOjtlefTCTB6_CbeEPOdEvb_iGHrHyAK7VeyfbWThdN9Q6cnCrug/s1600-h/DSCN2604.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292834767913285954" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKyMF619Llv6Ta9uEMyy4eZ41WzbwIJ5PbVieG6AQj3gGv9hLSgDXxlw8AZqWsV9kD7Fl2I9jnlmXW1cajh5wFsIwOjtlefTCTB6_CbeEPOdEvb_iGHrHyAK7VeyfbWThdN9Q6cnCrug/s320/DSCN2604.JPG" border="0" /></a> It is with great trepidation that I begin this attempt to put into words some sort of summary of the events spanning the 10 days I spent at Parihaka. I think back to how wound up I became when writing a few months back that what I could express of my experience as conveyed through words seemed so far from the real truth of what I wanted to share. I felt (and still feel) as if the residual background worry of not being able to do justice to my experiences by trying to capture and share them with words or photographs, was actually hampering my own experience of each present time I found myself in, twisted as that may sound! So, I decided I needed to be free from that worry for a while and forced my own removal from the internet and mobile phone world, I’ve hardly taken any photos either, for the last 5 or 6 weeks. It’s greatly increased my clarity of understanding of life; living pure and simple, feeling more in tune with myself and nature, and such magical flow has happened. But returning to the city, to technology, the internet, to this piece of writing, is a sacrifice I am delighted to make for the people of Parihaka, I know I cannot convey all of my experience but my aim is to get the message across that deserves to be spread; even if just one person reading is inspired by it.<br /><br />Parihaka is a Pa site in Taranaki on the West Coast of the North Island of Aotearoa (the Maori name for New Zealand, meaning ‘land of the long white cloud'). This is the fourth year of Parihaka International Peace Festival. 3 days of music, eco workshops, films, healing and speakers’ forums to celebrate and promote a unified consciousness with all races of the world in our quest for peace amongst us all. I could never have imagined quite how actively this message is promoted by all that is said and done at Parihaka.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcbmLMAkb9LMeBluyWkUM1qEI6heL0hvBJkVcObfekZz-D3d4glVh7OQbNEAqJ0aNGoEjypvMihERUGHDh90CNEuPY7O1Savavi84k0VA9ZdfEss2kr4rJyrq7IYrkapCxJa0rvQ1k5w/s1600-h/DSCN2595.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292829490653115634" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcbmLMAkb9LMeBluyWkUM1qEI6heL0hvBJkVcObfekZz-D3d4glVh7OQbNEAqJ0aNGoEjypvMihERUGHDh90CNEuPY7O1Savavi84k0VA9ZdfEss2kr4rJyrq7IYrkapCxJa0rvQ1k5w/s200/DSCN2595.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />The site is beautiful and very unique. The mountain of Taranaki looms in the distance. It’s a classic volcano – a big point on an otherwise mainly flat landscape. Past eruptions have dispersed volcanic flow which has settled across the land in the form of beautiful little hills. So as far as layout for a festival goes it’s great because the music stages can go on the flat bits and there’s plenty of hill space for people to sit on and take it all in, plus a creek running through the middle. The snow-capped volcanic mountain <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi53s0pY1DbBUOMmYr5o9JDzlKNuRknwE4ToROH_-Zn4hxi3Osf7E2AdRgTfWQQfGagv6Wc2GEKgk2PZht4J9c1fMbbIXJTLvuznaoFe436P78bVBkUnMN4N5QbI61RNyVHUWDS-QBeDg/s1600-h/DSCN2589.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292829486738456274" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi53s0pY1DbBUOMmYr5o9JDzlKNuRknwE4ToROH_-Zn4hxi3Osf7E2AdRgTfWQQfGagv6Wc2GEKgk2PZht4J9c1fMbbIXJTLvuznaoFe436P78bVBkUnMN4N5QbI61RNyVHUWDS-QBeDg/s200/DSCN2589.JPG" border="0" /></a>sits proudly in the distance to the east, the ocean to the west. Small boulders are scattered around which artists have carved intricate designs into, and up by the community buildings are nestled the remains of stone walls built in the 1800s.<br /><br />Parihaka is a very important site in the history of the Maori people. Over a hundred years ago it was a thriving Maori community from which people were captured and sent to the South Island to work as slaves for the British colonists. Many never returned. The Maori, who at first welcomed the British onto their land to share in its benefit, were robbed of that which is most sacred to them – their whenua (land) and their whanau (family/community). It was at Parihaka in the 1800s that the Maori elder Te Whiti was the first to ever use the art of ‘passive resistance’ – peaceful protest and complete passivity in the face of oppression, a practice that was adopted by Gandhi yet its birthplace here is a fact omitted from most history books.<br /><br />I could now go on to recount the many horrors and wrongs done to the Maori race – the tribal people who lived in harmony with nature on this island for many years before Captain Cook ‘discovered’ it – and in particular with reference to this site. But as is the message and spirit I have come to understand from the community living at Parihaka now, there is little point in dwelling on the past, and every point in focussing on the now and building for a unified future.<br /><br />I arrive in Parihaka at 1am on the Sunday night before the festival weekend (<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit2ducx74PCSLu2ITu2gEN3wZAY5as06so1EANDZgRhXXDP6cbnq3PEioQKJR8dMWxozSmO5a_xmRPWKtvhUeIGCvD9YRNxLj9XTfY7Mf0nmIxak_XOsnaoSz4ITYDVTdH-2P6_xFjnQ/s1600-h/DSCN2600.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292829497465648450" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit2ducx74PCSLu2ITu2gEN3wZAY5as06so1EANDZgRhXXDP6cbnq3PEioQKJR8dMWxozSmO5a_xmRPWKtvhUeIGCvD9YRNxLj9XTfY7Mf0nmIxak_XOsnaoSz4ITYDVTdH-2P6_xFjnQ/s200/DSCN2600.JPG" border="0" /></a> Fri 9th-Sun 11th January), to volunteer during the week with the set-up. My first time ever in a Maori community, I am welcomed into the marae - the building into which people in the community come to eat, drink, relax, discuss, play music and generally meet and be together. Considering what the English have done to the indigenous races of the world I was a little apprehensive as to how my arrival would be greeted, but could not have been more warmly received, as if I was one of the family.<br /><br />There is a lot to learn from the Parihaka story and the Maori people....<br /><br />Ko te poo te kai hari it e raa<br />Ko te mate te kaihari it e oranga<br /><br />The beautiful classical language of Maori uses the words above to describe that “Just as the night brings forth the day, death brings forth life” – that through the depths of despair, one can discover the vitality and joy of what it is to be alive. The Maori struggles of having land seized, people imprisoned and killed and freedoms quashed, have only made stronger their spirit and resilience to move forward. Despite countless tales of abuse the prevailing sentiment here amongst the people is still one of such positive spirit, a view of humanity as one race and an actual living realisation of this belief through kindliness to and cooperation with all who come to visit, no matter what colour or nationality.<br /><br />Maoris have a strong sense of their tribal identity and this is displayed in their upkeep of customs which they take delight in sharing with everyone they meet. For example the powhiri welcoming display and speech given at the beginning of the festival to welcome all the visitors to the land, the greeting a Maori gives when they meet you; a touching of the forehead and nose and a sharing of the breath, which they say is so that the spirits of two are united as one. I have a strong sense of déjà vu on a number of occasions in this place and soon feel very connected with the land and people; perhaps there’s something really deep causing this, or maybe it’s because the whole community is so welcoming that everybody feels very at home and comfortable here; their stated intention.<br /><br />Meal time in the marae consists of the ringing of a bell to round everybody into the dining room area, followed by a short speech delivered in Maori giving thanks for the food provided. Then it’s an orderly queue as everybody digs in to the feast on offer: salads, stews, curries, vegetables, bread. Young and old, national and international mix and talk over their meal and each person does something to help with the tidying up. Everybody is concerned for everybody else’s enjoyment, assisting each other with pleasure, and it is a delight to be involved in. This feeling resounds throughout practically everything that occurs here at Parihaka!<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292834776121742946" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBOtAqq4XlvRMeC-zhvNRgRuoWRrFuTAyl2MTamMHZWk1nRpZHXL6ZoSWa1GTbRB3JpjQh4boOTJ9Xu6SDs85yfFQTnv2kDUGiHPlp5MuMz0oWhC_YHE7pRygOa2-duPrpMXYlY-yeRA/s320/DSCN2602.JPG" border="0" />Evening times often involve music jamming and it is here that I somehow find the courage to just go ahead and play my harmonica in front of people (almost a complete first for me). Guitars are played, tobacco is smoked, tea is drunk and stories are shared. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292834770309156706" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0asBpDyyyof93DHMjFM2gUhi4oNH3A1oj5sRF4yPCi2V6EIH0aG_41qoxBY0vheGuUzOk8NbCWBqlxfoOkjxL37D6e9shc2XW59G1hMtDw5lOVWqkxi9gktE49Cgiwp11NasZ11eBUA/s320/DSCN2603.JPG" border="0" />Laughter abounds and getting to know the characters here is a pleasure. For the first couple of nights I sleep in the marae’s communal sleeping space where I set up a mattress on the floor. The walls are lined with framed photos of deceased ancestors of the community. This community may be poor but they have a lot of pride for their marae and for their ability <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKGPYDxPJ2zbCHHV6lrNwsCroqCdohSGSG7806i0bwppMEQCwXGm50WrOPA-mIvAAR-pFDopUGJgHwM7Buxn2PxvyxEM5GDsWoplOUqXBldywTQo9qxYuUn9clwhxXvhLXa-OI95HhQQ/s1600-h/DSCN2578.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5292829480840190370" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKGPYDxPJ2zbCHHV6lrNwsCroqCdohSGSG7806i0bwppMEQCwXGm50WrOPA-mIvAAR-pFDopUGJgHwM7Buxn2PxvyxEM5GDsWoplOUqXBldywTQo9qxYuUn9clwhxXvhLXa-OI95HhQQ/s200/DSCN2578.JPG" border="0" /></a>to look after guests by maintaining mutual respect and care for the space and tidiness of the communal areas. Everybody here says hello to each other, smiles and chats. In Maori ‘Hello’ is ‘Kia Ora’. The community kids run around all over the place and nobody locks their doors.<br /><br />Each day in the run up to the festival, more volunteers arrive, hailing from Germany, Switzerland, Australia, Italy, France, Bolivia, Canada and USA. Communal breakfast time is set for 7am, and on Tuesday since I’m one of the first in the kitchen I decide to attempt to make a pot of porridge big enough for about 40 people. I get the quantities a little wrong but am thanked sincerely for getting involved. We have an hour or so to eat and mingle before a meeting is called to discuss what needs to be done for the day. Signs need to be painted, caravans towed, fencing built, wooden seats erected, gorse cleared, flags put together and up. The whole process is very organic and people disperse into teams, everybody is here with a common purpose in mind and nobody needs to be hounded into working because we’re all here to help make this festival a success. Still, I don’t grasp the concept immediately, the days are long and I end up trying too hard to do too much and worry about how it’s all going to get done in time, I try my best to help everybody and by the time Thursday arrives I have a stinking cold. I put this down to a general lack of sleep and exhaustion from doing/worrying too much (the week before I arrived here I was at another festival where I worked, partied and had little sleep also). I make hot lemon, garlic and honey drinks to fight it off.<br /><br />By the time the welcoming powhiri on Friday morning begins I’m sitting amongst Maori elders feeling very emotional (I feel really ill and tired today, I’m surprised I woke up feeling worse). I don’t know exactly what is going on or if I should be sitting on the opposite side of the grass but I am assured I am fine where I am since I have been helping all week. Well over a thousand people have gathered for the festival’s opening ceremony. From the side I am sitting I watch as various members of the community here stand and call out over the gap, in a combination of spoken and chanted Maori, and then some of the women start to sing/chant, from both sides of the grass. I am not sure why but tears are rolling down my face, it’s not that I am sad; I am in fact enjoying the experience. I allow the emotion to be felt as some sort of deep connection is occurring here! Much is spoken in Maori and I take the general gist of this to be about giving thanks and welcoming visitors to the land. Then the queue commences as each and every one of the people who have recently arrived at the pa are individually greeted; hugging and exchanging breaths in the traditional way with the 5 or 6 representatives from the festival / pa community currently standing to welcome them. It’s a beautiful thing to watch.<br /><br />I am reassuringly told by several people that I should relax and enjoy the festival; my physical and mental energy are very much depleted meaning I have little choice BUT to relax. So the festival commences and I sleep for a while in the giant marquee that’s been erected for volunteers. Rather than trying to help everybody all of the time I decide that it’s obviously meant to be a quiet one for me and that I will spend time listening to the various public speakers that are planned and continue in my course of learning about the Maori culture and the true meaning behind the festival .<br /><br />At the opening discussion in the festival Speakers’ Forum, Te Miringa (festival director) speaks of Parihaka’s focus on the kinship of humanity as one whole, and discusses what is most important to the Maori - the whakapapa – this word encompasses their ancestry, their land, their sense of place, and sense of belonging. In discussing this he reminds everyone to think about the importance of knowing where you are, who you are and how you’re going to be who you are. I know it’s the reason I am travelling. And to consider far enough back in time is to know that all of us share common ancestors anyway, we are really all cousins who have come from out of the forest; nature put us here, not the other way around.<br /><br />The message is of togetherness and united humanity, I am so happy and in agreement I want to cry!<br /><br />Of course the musical acts performing at the festival have their own messages to give as well and the first bands on Friday night reawaken my joy at being involved in the set-up of the festival as most if not all of the bands appearing have conscious / socially aware lyrics, as well as some fine dancing tunes which hype up the crowds and fill me with new energy. There’s truly some great music in this country!<br /><br />I wrote this in my notebook on Sat 10th January:<br />“What stands out the most about this festival are the Maori and the young. It’s a steep learning curve and I am enchanted by the welcoming, friendliness, approachability and concern of the Maori people to everybody they meet. And their youngsters, who from the outside could so easily be judged for their appearance and perceived ‘attitude’ (hiphop stylee) are all so friendly, easy to talk to, respectful and kind to all. I have heard and seen no harshness towards me (the outsider, the English girl) and feel a deep affinity with these people. I want to learn more and to help protect their culture, history and traditional knowledge...so...though it feels a shame that I’ve had little energy to fully experience and engage in the festival, the music, the eco forums etc, I know not to worry because in doing so I have had a subdued status which has allowed another side of things to become apparent – that of the beauty and plight of the Maori people. They care so much about every individual’s enjoyment of life and all they really seem to want is to enjoy their lives, protect their culture, families and future. I think it’s beautiful.”<br /><br />I also listened to Hone Harawira, member of Aotearoa New Zealand’s Maori Party, who delivered a heart warming, personal and honest speech the likes of which you could never imagine an English MP making. Jokes, swear words, even self ridicule! He discussed the goings on in the Middle East and suggested that the only way New Zealand can help is through the premise of ‘Helping yourself before you can help anybody else.’ Meaning for everybody in the country to focus on looking after each other, so that New Zealand can realise its potential to become a unified country and stand as a beacon for the rest of the world. There is plenty of conflict within the country including a lot of racial prejudice towards the Maoris due to gangs, violence and drug taking in the cities. And to be honest I don’t find it hard at all to understand why young people become a part of this - domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse in their families, combined with a deep subconscious lack of belonging stemming back to when their tribal rites were stripped by white colonists – being part of a gang must somehow fill that gap, especially if they’re stuck in the city far from nature. I imagine growing up in that situation how hard it would be to break the cycle. Yet I have met Maoris at Parihaka who were previously caught up in all that and are now dedicating their time to their community and the education of their young. ‘Leading by example’. Here on display is the true nature of Maori spirit, showing that the only way individuals can help with these issues is to put positive focus into their own lives and communities, whoever they are.<br /><br />Being immersed in this Maori community has shown me how the simple act of believing in the genuine desire between humans to love and help each other, and seeing and feeling that in action and being a part of it, is creating a ‘virus’ of positivity that I feel certain to be causing positive change further afield.<br /><br />At Parihaka they are actually doing something and BEING the positive change they want to see. Community, togetherness, respect for one another and for nature and the land. Sharing; shared struggles and strifes, shared laughter, shared music, shared food, shared duties and tasks, shared burden, shared enjoyment. Shared ideas, shared knowledge, shared understanding that everyone is an individual and needs their own space and identity and freedoms, whilst existing as part of a community where the whole functions beautifully outweighing the sum of its parts.<br /><br />There is no sense of class, superiority or prejudice here. People have roles within the community but all are considered as important as one another. In terms of the festival, the volunteers who help to pick up litter are treated just the same as the performers – with respect, welcoming and an open heart. Everybody is valued for the part they have to play in making the event a success. Massive credit to these guys for organising such an excellent 3 day festival with no previous experience, and portraying such a strong and important message with such grace and passion.<br /><br />On the final day of the festival, high winds cause the main stage framework to buckle and the stage has to be cancelled. No-one’s spirits seem affected by this, as Te Miringa explains: “We organically adapt and use obstacles as opportunities”. As I finally am feeling a bit better, I find myself being offered work at another festival the following weekend but it would involve me leaving here on Monday. I decide I want to stay a bit longer, to learn and connect further with the people who live here, and to help pack up and clear the site of litter. By the time I reach Wednesday I am walking around an empty site collecting plastic bottle tops and ringpulls and breathing in the air full of renewed spirit and positivity. It is from atop the hill overlooking where the main stage recently stood that I witness, for the first time in my life, the sun setting over the ocean.<br /><br />As the immensely long list of different personal encounters, conversations, musical and visual experiences whizzes around my head I feel an overwhelming sense of joy and kinship. I feel a striking affinity with these people, and their ‘facing the challenges, being a part of the solution’ approach to life; demonstrating that love and peace when combined with positive intention, education, resolve, compassion and action, are the seeds of a bright future where humanity lives in harmony with itself and nature. Why not? </div><div align="left">.</div><div align="left">.</div><div align="left">.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"><a href="http://www.parihaka.com/">http://www.parihaka.com/</a> </div>CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-66257938144266963002008-12-03T23:21:00.002+13:002008-12-03T23:37:32.202+13:00And what did she learn?I just wanted to close the subject of the last post regarding my negative judgement and determination to see through said judgement due to being aware that there was surely something about myself that it served to highlight for me to overcome.<br /><br />This was indeed the case and I did indeed learn a lot. The expanse of which I will not go into here suffice to say that I am humbled by the whole situation and very grateful to Adrian for simply being himself and for the part he unknowingly played in yet another leap in my journey of personal growth. I don't think I could ever describe exactly what / how this happened so I'm not going to try! A few thoughts relating to the matter ...<br /><br /><div align="center">Judge not others lest you be judged yourself. </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">In fact scrap that - judge yourself using the judgement you find yourself placing upon others.</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">Go out into your world, do exactly what you fear the most, and observe yourself carefully. </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">And, ultimately: </div><div align="center"><strong>Observe without judgement</strong></div><strong></strong><br /><br /><br /><br />In case you're interested I'm now back in Auckland staying with my second cousin-in-law and learning of family history that I didn't know existed. My great uncle Cyril had a book published! There is something interesting about the Drew family after all!!<br /><br />Also last night I span fire.<br /><br />Today I helped a class of 9 year olds at a Steiner school build a wall with mud/straw bricks they made last week.<br /><br />More random facts:<br />The god of wine is called Dionysus.<br />Everything is perceptual<br />I found the giant kauri in the forest<br />I got drenched in the rain on the way out of the forest whilst listening to Metallica's Black Album!<br />Fear is not a reason for quitting, it is only an excuse.<br />Self control is bound to be challenging.<br />Kat is incapable of being anything less than philosophical. Sorry.<br />Actually no, I'm not sorry, I love it!<br /><br />Kat is enjoying saying YES a lot.<br />xxCuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-46366199767075363002008-11-25T00:27:00.003+13:002008-11-25T00:53:02.425+13:00Yet More Thoughts - from modern house of torrential rain!Hello again,<br /><br />I'll do my best to keep this brief. And I want to make this my last post in a while because it has really dawned on me today how far removed from modernity I need to be. The rain last night was insane! I hardly slept. And tonight it continues. Today whilst it rained and I was trapped indoors unable to proceed with the mountain of wood-chip that is currently my task to spread across the garden, so I cleaned. I cleaned things that were cleaner than things I have ever taken it upon myself to clean before. This guy's house is so clean that it seems futile to spend time cleaning it! Give me outdoor showers and long-drop toilets again pleeeease!!<br /><br />Basically, for me, modern life is so full of un-necessary distractions - this darn computer for one - that it spins me right out of myself and into pondering obscurity, and the seeking of comfort from things that are essentially over-indulgent and un-necessary. I am looking forward to island life on Waiheke, where I am headed shortly. I do not want these distractions, there is no time for them. Of course it's wonderful that I can communicate with people back home but it is so easy to get caught up for hours on a computer whilst forgetting what is around you in the moment.<br /><br />Anyway...<br /><br />Apologies in advance if I go off the radar for a while. I shall no doubt continue to get sucked into this computer so long as I stay at this house but that should only be a few more days. I need to be removed from distraction and temptation in order to centre myself and focus into my own experiences of the NOW, which is where I want to be. I guess most people don't have this kind of trouble?!<br /><br />One more thing - I do not want to judge others, but merely observe, and decide on what I feel is right for me, however I cannot help but feel saddened at what seems an apparent lack of interaction / attention on the part of my current host with regards to his son. I want to discuss this with him but not sure how to approach the subject and be honest without causing offence. He obviously loves his son (who is 3) and is trying to raise him as best he can, providing a beautiful home and teaching him right and wrong. However I am not sure if what appears to me to be a lack of attention / communication / understanding is merely a highlight of still unresolved issues / bitterness harboured by myself with regards to my relationship with my own father. This is all getting rather deep. It just seems to me that to impress upon a child all the things they must not do, sets them up for a life of worrying about getting things wrong. But like I said perhaps this is just as it relates to me, in fact it almost certainly is, since the situations we find ourselves in do tend to mirror what is going on within ourselves. I feel the need to simply get out of the situation yet also to use it as an opportunity to overcome something within me which I clearly need to deal with.<br /><br />Phew!<br /><br />Many lessons to be learned. Many many questions. And the rain continues to pour! But worry not dear friends of mine for I am enjoying and savouring every moment.<br /><br />xxCuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-57843464361612270102008-11-24T02:34:00.009+13:002009-05-04T16:20:29.529+12:00A New Post ... Rain FallsAs rain falls, as it has been doing for most of the day but tonight has got rather heavy, and I have just spent the last 4 hours working my way through most of the first half of a book entitled <em>The Pleiadian Agenda, </em>for some reason I felt compelled to type a new blog.<br /><br />Not that I know how many people will read this thing. I have had almost zero emails from folks back home with their news and this rather puzzles me as it's one thing to have the odd 'we miss you' message (and thanks for the comments those of you that have done) but it would be lovely to have some proper letters from you guys!<br /><br />Anyway back to my current situation. 2.39am. A very small glass of red wine. So much for back to nature eh?! Well hey didn't I say it was all about small steps?! To be honest when I arrived on Thursday at this modern house overlooking the beautiful Whangaroa (the 'Wh' is pronounced like an 'F') Harbour, I was a little freaked out that I was about to be overconsuming all over again. I kinda still am (freaked out I mean), however every experience is here to teach us something and I have already learned a lot in 3 days here due to a bit of an alcohol memory-blackout binge and resulting self-realisations...<br /><br />Without going into it in too much detail I shall say I am very much in a new state of self awareness and (hopefully) control. I am very much looking forward to this Wednesday, when I shall be going on a small mission through a forest to find and camp by one of the oldest, largest trees in New Zealand - the ancient Kauri <em>Te Tangi O Te Tui</em>. Approx 50 metres tall and over 1000 years old. I am not sure how it will make me feel but I know I need to spend some time with it.<br /><br />The book I have been reading, by the way, has been a VERY full-on <em>must concentrate hard and have mind wide open</em> experience. I am not sure I am ready to reflect on it yet. I suppose I should reveal something about it here - brace yourselves - it discusses the end of the Mayan Great Calendar in 2012 coinciding with a variety of galactic cycles of mega-scales of time, Earth being very much in line with these cyclic alignments including its entry into the Photon Band. All sounding like gobaldeegook to most of you? Aah well you know when you look up into the sky on a clear night at all those stars and wonder what's <em>really</em> going on? Well there are some serious ideas in this book about the multi-dimensional reality that really exists and how we humans on Earth are rather important indeed if only we could wake up a bit!<br /><br />Or rather that reality is whatever we think it to be. That anything is possible if we can imagine it to be. That it is scientifically proven that thought can create reality and cure illness, only thoughts cannot be sold for profit so we are all being mislead and sold drugs and technology to keep us trapped in the belief that limitation actually exists.<br /><br /><strong><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">Limitation is a creation of the mind.</span></strong><br /><br />(thanks to Paul Shanta for that quote which fits perfectly to what I have been reading about and here it is amidst some amazing artwork of his, look closely on the top left)...<br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5271852746552278658" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 320px; height: 240px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicgUuyJBsLyYCgKXvetRGrAIk3JlavjH1T98deBp2Va0owEeu6buR2ThDAwVm7k8TXKZQJAWtnuBo69zk9wYPUy6jggn2sOUMQRPHP7x2mKknVGS1LnDiPx1thXYi7oakO5MdtxuUh6A/s320/lim.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Hmm perhaps I should halt it there, this was only to be a short blog and I may have scared some of you off! Discussion anybody? If you HAVE made it this far but feeling slightly baffled then I apologise, it's hard to articulate such fast-learning experiences into words. <strong>The main point is once again (as per my previous blog): positive thinking brings about positive reaction from the universe. Really!! Our thoughts are SO powerful! </strong><br /><br />I made it to Cape Reinga by the way. The northern-most point of the country, where the two oceans meet and you can actually see the dividing line, different sea colours and random waves in the middle of it all. <a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2158563&l=84742fdab5&id=717265427">Click for photo.....</a></p><p><span id="public_link_uri"></span>.... for once they do it justice, you can actually see the line better on the photos than you could in reality! Yes it was a grey day but that did make it all the more amazing because of the way the cloud was forming right above the point where the oceans meet....</p><p>Yikes I gotta stop. Having spent a while editting this blog it's now 3.32am. </p><p>Plans for next few weeks are still to become definite but looking like New Year will be spent working at Rhythm&Vines Festival in Gisborne, one of the first cities in the world to see sunrise, and Public Enemy are playing!</p><p>And just a reminder of my plea... emails pleeeeeeeease to <a href="mailto:kat_d69@hotmail.com">kat_d69@hotmail.com</a> ... if you reckon you miss me then spend half an hour typing me an email about yourself and it will feel like you have spent some time with me... I wanna hear news from YOU!</p><p>lots of love as ever....</p><p>crazy curious one x<br /></p>CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-27037785981551596822008-11-14T23:31:00.009+13:002008-11-17T20:17:46.192+13:00Back to NaTuRe... *** the mother of us all ***<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfrp2kr37PcaSdwAerCaxeJJwGCqfMBRmngcm8aLU5FN48ajzC8Vh_SGaje-VMMrD_LfKV1JjFbwaIuhn4BHDW4f8iA7GqCH6n0oSJbDxJs08GsB6MC_ilmZhTKeOPRMZd8FQQkhRFZA/s1600-h/DSCF1142.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268790193494717490" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 320px; height: 240px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfrp2kr37PcaSdwAerCaxeJJwGCqfMBRmngcm8aLU5FN48ajzC8Vh_SGaje-VMMrD_LfKV1JjFbwaIuhn4BHDW4f8iA7GqCH6n0oSJbDxJs08GsB6MC_ilmZhTKeOPRMZd8FQQkhRFZA/s320/DSCF1142.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Hello everyone and sorry for not having posted for ages but I have been really avoiding technology and trying to settle into my experience here after such a long and busy build-up. I think I need to explain this further as I have a feeling that a lot of people who know me are not necessarily aware of quite how important the 'nature' element of my travels in New Zealand is.<br /><br />So here we go...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">I came here to WWOOF.</span><br /><br />As the WWOOF website describes...<b>Willing Workers on Organic Farms </b>is a world wide network where volunteers ("WWOOFers") live and learn on organic properties. WWOOF volunteers offer their help on the farm and in return they learn about biological farming. Food and accommodation is provided. WWOOF began in New Zealand in 1974.<br /><br />WWOOFers<b> </b>live with families and get hands-on experience with organic farming, permaculture, earth building, cooking, crafts, wine, cheese and bread making, alternative energy and much more... check wwoof.co.nz to read examples of the variety of host experiences.<br /><br />Basically the point is that, as many people will know, when I was in England I spent a lot of time preaching about fair trade, free range and organic food etc, so now what I am doing is actually, well not just buying/talking it but DOING it. Learning what it involves to grow vegetables & fruit, look after chickens, pigs etc, live close to 'the source' <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">(NATURE) </span>...<br /><br />I tell you it's incredible how good it makes you feel to spend 2 days completely rejuvinating a patch of ground from being totally overgrown with last season's vegetables to being fully hauled over with sacks of horse shit mixed in (after being collected by hand) to make it richer soil for planting a load of baby kumara (a sort of sweet potato) plants into... <span style="font-weight: bold;">fresh air, exercise and being outside</span> are SUCH sort outs!!<br /><br />SO the reality is that I am actually learning and experiencing, the kind of things that back home I merely dreamed of and moaned about. I am doing something about my desire to live more in synchronisation with nature and things just make so much more sense that way. I can't actually imagine how my conscience could let me return to the way of life I had back home and it's starting to dawn on me where many of my guilt issues were rooted.<br /><br />Learning what herbs are good for what effects on your health and making teas out of them, knowing how to plant baby carrots and what minerals different plants need to grow, watching baby chickens get bigger by feeding them natural food and letting them run around freely, milking the goat that feeds on the grass and family's foodscraps, picking fresh salad leaves, cabbages, broccoli, strawberries...these are a small percentage of the things I have so far experienced whilst WWOOFing.<br /><br />Oh and eating amazing organic meals and sharing some wonderful conversations in which I don't feel like the odd one out who's 'just being fussy'!!!<br /><br />Plus, now that I have watched a happy 100% free-range chicken have its head chopped off, helped to pluck it and break bones whilst preparing it for cooking, then later on eating it whilst being fully aware that it was alive and running around that very morning, I am pretty positive that I will never again eat chicken unless I am certain of its origin. Also I have seen the size of naturally fed 6 week old chickens and it aint big. Those ones you buy in the supermarkets are that age and let me tell you those poor things must have been so pumped full of hormones, and simply bred to eat with no respect whatsoever for the beauty of life that it's frightening.....how people can continue to eat these things without feeling sick at the horror of thinking how they've been treated is beyond me.<br /><br />The time between staying with the WWOOF hosts I am travelling as cheaply as possible, camping in my tent and finding ways to eat and have amazing experiences without spending money.<br /><br />Oh yeh so that's the other thing - <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">MONEY</span>.<br /><br />Yes, money is something I am also trying to avoid here in New Zealand. I didn't manage to save a massive amount before I came away but the way I am living is such that I am hardly spending any whilst still living a really rich life full of beautiful experiences. The first week I was here & staying in Auckland I had some big outlays - buying a bus pass, sorting out a NZ SIMcard (for occasional mobile phone use) and of course some booze-fueled fun nights. But now I am in full resourcefulness mode ie. do I reeeally neeed this item here that I am tempted to buy? - No of course not, it is just being SOLD to me by someone who wants me to spend money and convince me that I desire their product (a product which was probably produced by someone who was underpaid whilst using up energy and producing pollution). <span style="font-weight: bold;">It is amazing the things that come to you for free or what you can make out of someone else's waste</span> when you are in thrift mode...someone else's leftovers became a gourmet breakfast of toast and tea, for example. Or a load of old washing machines get turned into a water wheel for generating electricity (as is the case for Allen, the WWOOF host I am currently staying with).<br /><br />The two WWOOF hosts I have so far stayed with are both working towards living completely self-sufficiently. Getting power from the sun or streams, water from the sky and food they grow themselves. Using waste food to feed animals which in turn provide more food, using waste (excrement) to feed the ground from which more food grows. All of which follows the natural path of things <span style="font-weight: bold;">working in cycles, the way nature intended</span>. I think it's a beautiful notion and one that more people really should consider, if not as a way of life then at least just THINK about these things. Why should people depend on material things and modern society, owe thousands in debt to whichever bank or credit card or mortgage company , spend their days sitting in front of a computer and their evenings in front of a TV, draining resources from our beautiful planet whilst they become more and more distant from the very thing which sustains us all?<br /><br />And hey it's not the easiest thing in the world to cast off years of learned materialism and dependency on comforts such as flushing toilets and hot water whenever you want it. You have to give things up that you think you need and it's taking dedication and some serious re-training of the mind for me to do. You have to think more, and take it step by step. But all you have to do is be more aware, pay more attention and realise how healthy and good it is for you to have a happier conscience. That is, of course, if you choose to ACTUALLY think about these things, which I have come to find is unavoidable hence the action I am taking (I say 'you' where obviously what I refer to is MY experience, not sure why it feels more natural to describe in this way). And yes it is not necessarily as 'comfortable' to sleep in a barn and have limited electricity, but for the three weeks that I did so I had no tobacco or alcohol and I swear I only missed them on two occasions.<br /><br />Said barn was located on a piece of land owned by Anna and Dino, a couple who, when they first bought the land 5 years ago covered in trees and scrub, lived in a tent for a year and a half whilst they implemented their ideas and now have 3 beautiful children, a house they built themselves, various veg, fruit and herbs growing, a load of chickens, goats, bees, and much more in the pipeline. All it's taken has been dedication and positive action. Anyone can do it. Yes, anyone...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">If you can imagine it, then anything is possible.</span><br /><br />Sitting in front of this computer tonight as I am, I feel that in reality my blog, what I want to explain about what I am trying to achieve, should be something I dedicate more time to and even approach as if I am writing an essay, because I so desperately wish to explain how important these things are to me and my travels and hopefully make people think about these things. Not that I know how many people will actually have the patience to read through these mini essays!!! (please do me a favour and comment if you have done?)<br /><br />So the point if that it's not just about having fun travelling! It's a very serious project and experience...<br /><br />Though that's not to say I haven't had heaps of fun and some beautiful experiences. I think <span style="font-weight: bold;">I have fallen in love</span> with a dog by the way. I now understand why people have dogs. There is a dog called Rusty who seems to understand me so perfectly. For the first 4 days I was here (the place I am currently staying at) he barked and growled at me from within his fenced area. I looked at him and said to him 'You WILL be friends with me somehow'. And believe me a lot of people would be scared of this dog. That's why the poor thing is chained up. Most people don't understand him. Their fears breed mis-interpreted aggression which is, of course, merely a desire for love and attention from a dog who's not aware of his own strength. So he's chained up because certain humans don't understand him. I know very little about dogs, but I think I can RELATE and that's the main thing. I got Allen to introduce me to Rusty, I approached him with pure love and within minutes he was beginning to understand me, and me him. I proceeded to spend a few hours with this dog, speaking to him about my thoughts as I dug over some soil, cuddling him and lying down with him, and he made me cry about 3 times through sheer force of love and beauty and the incredible way in which he responded to things I said to him - some really powerful emotional connection going on. Impossible to express why/how. But yeh, I'm in love with him.<br /><br />This is also a journey of the <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">SPIRIT</span>. You know all those questions and pontificating conversations I so love to engage in, the meaning of life, philosophy, psychology, what it's all about? Well so far in my travels here there have been many amazing conversations and so much information has come to me to add to my quest for answers. Discussions about where our planet's at in terms of a collective consciousness, an imminent shift in the overall level of humanity's connection to understanding more than just what we immediately perceive as being reality. But more on that when I have learnt enough to attempt to sum some of it up. For the time being let me just say that I am very excited and feeling very lucky to exist in this stage of the evolution of existence. Some people will understand more than others what I mean by this and to those of you that do, well guys let me tell you it is quite magical how many circumstances have so far presented themselves to me in which I have learnt things I have been wanting to learn. Positive universal change is not too far away my friends and WE are the lucky ones. The faster we all start realising it the better!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">POSITIVE</span> is in fact the thought I shall make the last one of my blog for today. Approach everything with a positive outlook and the universe will respond in positive ways. Fear breeds fear. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Love breeds love</span>. Simple. Rusty the dog is the perfect example.<br /><br />So what, if people think I am just a <span style="font-weight: bold;">crazy hippy</span>?! I'll leave you with a quote from Bill Hicks...<br /><br />"Today a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, and we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves".<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">(more Bill Hicks: http://sazmatazz.users.btopenworld.com)</span><br /><br />I love you all<br />Kat<br />x<br /><br />PS. pleeeeease email me with news of what's going on with you!!!!<br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-1046931617955316452008-10-07T11:47:00.000+13:002008-10-07T12:15:46.856+13:00Hong Kong and AucklandGuys this is gonna be tough, I really should be figuring out my next move instead of attempting to rewrite my last week's ones! But still, here's a list of activities so far completed, if I tried to detail all the beautiful details it would go on forever, so we'll see what happens...<br /><br />Hong Kong. In one word... mental! Absolutely astonishingly large buildings that I cannot comprehend the engineering of. I mean, how on earth do you build a structure that has 80 floors AND overhanging sides? I was lucky to discover a building with an observation lift that went up to floor 56. Rising up the side of a building as the night skyline opens up around you is a very unique experience. And as much as I did enjoy the epicness of it all, I could not help but think how wrong it was that this all exists when there are people in the world without so much as fresh water to drink. So yeh, after a day and a half I was ready to leave the big city!<br /><br />Stilll, the fireworks display that took place above the harbour on the night of my arrival to celebrate China's national day was probably the most epic I have ever seen. And I tasted real Chinese hot and sour Pork. As well as meeting a group of Philipinos and sharing a traditional meal with them. And taking the Star Ferry across the harbour, standing in amongst the flashing skyscrapers as they put on their nightly light show, taking the train and seeing some of the suburbs, wandering around endless streets and markets and....phew!!!!<br /><br />Arriving in Auckland at 7am after an 11 hour flight to be greeted at Arrivals by the two friendly faces of Paul and Dan - for those of you that don't know, they are friends of my Bournemouth housemate Jon who has travelled in New Zealand in the past - I was happy to be wisked off to breakfast. Was rather dizzy all day due to the lack of sleep and excess of alcohol (it was free on the plane, what can I say?) and also the fact that I hadn't really had to have any proper conversations for days on end so my articulation skills had gone a bit skew whiff.<br /><br />Anyhow the guys are lovely and I am staying in Paul's house in Auckland's North Shore and it's so beautiful here. I was taken out to party in Auckland with them on Saturday night which involved live bands, fire spinning performers, hula hoop hanging performers, a group of drummers, a drum'n'bass club, lots of booze, dancing, a little memory loss and a dreamy morning-after followed by a hazy day of laughter, amazing food and Belgian beer shared with Paul, Adam and Nancy at Mission Bay (this is where I tried the oysters)....<br /><br />It took a while to sink in, well hey it hasn't realy sunk in completely but the fact that I am now here, I have complete control over what happens next, where I go, who I meet, what I do. The place is amazing, the people are so friendly, everything makes sense - the food, the landscape, the culture, the music, I am gushingly happy about being here!!<br /><br />Yesterday I jumped off the Auckland Skytower. 192metres. It's a base jump by wire so there's some freefall followed by a controlled fall at 85kph and then you're brought to a gentle stop on the ground. I did it twice, forwards and backwards. The first time I laughed and laughed, the second time was also cool but you know I would've preferred to feel the freefall. It's quite surreal hovering over the streets below and just jumping, watching buildings around you as you fall. But I wouldn't say it was totally amazing. I guess I need bigger thrills! Hmm, I wonder how I will cope when it comes to the AJ Hackett Bunjee in Queenstown. We'll see if I eat my words eh? I think the point is that I need to be careful what extreme things I choose to spend my money on even though I clearly want to try everything!<br /><br />There is so much that I haven't even mentioned in this blog about what I have done but it's so long already! It's just freeflow writing really. And I think it's time to stop now.<br /><br />I hope all of you that are reading this are reallly well and taking care of yourselves and enjoying your lives. It doesn't matter where in the world any of us are, or what situation we are in, the power of our own minds can garner enjoyment from anything. Or change the situation if you can eh?!<br /><br />love to all<br />xCuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-37104049136133512822008-10-05T22:26:00.000+13:002008-10-05T22:33:18.119+13:00Oysters!I ate two oysters today...and enjoyed them. I chewed them, quite a lot, a felt around with my tongue at the different textures contained within the oyster, the only thing they were garnished with was lemon juice and pepper. And the second one, which was quite big, I actually really enjoyed. It took a lot of psychological effort to overcome the 'oh my god this is an oyster it's going to be horrible' gene that is embedded in the psyche, so I wouldn't go ordering them loads. And they were fresh New Zealand oysters so I expect that has something to do with it. But yeh, it was a very amazing moment!<br /><br />Yes I am in New Zealand now! I am ridiulously happy about it. It is beautiful.<br /><br />I am also at that point of tiredness that dictates nothing else is possible other than musssssst.....get....to.....bed!!CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-45280480713442384522008-09-25T23:12:00.000+12:002008-09-26T11:45:35.732+12:00MalagaOn the bus on the way back from the city of Malaga on the south coast of Spain yesterday I had this thought about how impossible it is going to be to accurately write about my adventures whilst travelling. SOO much happened in just one day and night in one city, I don't even know where to begin...<br /><br />I visited the Picasso museum and the house he was born in, I climbed a huge hill to visit the castle, saw the absolutely insanely large cathedral, and in the night time found this wonderful little bar which had a live jazz jam session going on inside, people smoking, an amazing atmosphere and these 4 incredible young sax players jamming with the house band. After a day of feeling rather isolated at my lack of ability to have a proper conversation (seeing as I was determined to not be an ignorant English person) I managed to have two separate long conversations in this bar, almost completely in Spanish. Just a day of determination and then finding myself the right environment (a radiantly dingey live music bar with some wonderful live musicians) meant that I had more confidence and the language I once learnt but had all but forgotten was coming back to me, enough to end up feeling like I had actually got some of my personality across whilst speaking Spanish.<br /><br />So it was a very fulfilling adventure and mostly because of the accomplishment I felt from speaking the native language ...it bodes well for potential future South America travel!<br /><br /><br /><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirNrPafhviGQEsPZw0amYH0BpjtL_Jcdls8iNmVe_NEaY_ZB_Z4zeGykqvmX9feUx28-R7Xuai6N71V54kyGA2818Zd3ek3BKsu6_bRsEOR5YPBSmtCGBIqH0Ax3EpdnUmJmwFeczeyA/s1600-h/DSCN2225.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249948092375520434" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirNrPafhviGQEsPZw0amYH0BpjtL_Jcdls8iNmVe_NEaY_ZB_Z4zeGykqvmX9feUx28-R7Xuai6N71V54kyGA2818Zd3ek3BKsu6_bRsEOR5YPBSmtCGBIqH0Ax3EpdnUmJmwFeczeyA/s320/DSCN2225.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div><div align="center"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkitJM4Zdbwcqwdy7khmboS-cMFHgfHGk2fhljxs0DETFAL5h6WCYq9UtYGDseMt5AGJOmfSUMBZB-dtpPNWmY0RgTBoBx35MpLbJz29_aWnzfeT_ocNKBL_fKHD_tIIank3P9-8D4UA/s1600-h/DSCN2226.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249948092124906114" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkitJM4Zdbwcqwdy7khmboS-cMFHgfHGk2fhljxs0DETFAL5h6WCYq9UtYGDseMt5AGJOmfSUMBZB-dtpPNWmY0RgTBoBx35MpLbJz29_aWnzfeT_ocNKBL_fKHD_tIIank3P9-8D4UA/s320/DSCN2226.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div><div align="center"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgodpEmT8MPzn1TYEaEUpLBYt35VYPqZ1UxAdE5L89Qr7L8PiqVeqGCc4OG5zCXFlgbWpEDjWQlxCgwtLdeyX7Oj8HLkt9fdXfcHHWTSPAWeWxhlD2E9joFYyPgCD7jTkBZhMJ-VZZdjg/s1600-h/DSCN2227.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249948097002375970" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgodpEmT8MPzn1TYEaEUpLBYt35VYPqZ1UxAdE5L89Qr7L8PiqVeqGCc4OG5zCXFlgbWpEDjWQlxCgwtLdeyX7Oj8HLkt9fdXfcHHWTSPAWeWxhlD2E9joFYyPgCD7jTkBZhMJ-VZZdjg/s320/DSCN2227.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div>CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933929758775479605.post-74154365709592832802008-09-19T14:30:00.000+12:002008-09-19T15:19:04.281+12:00YES<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">After many attempts to select an address for my blog (which I've set up in order to write about my travelling experiences) I hit upon something easy for you all to remember whilst also being very fitting of what I am about to write right now. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Kat Says Yes! It's easy - whenever you find yourself wondering what I'm up to, just type in katsaysyes.blogspot.com<br /><br />so, YES... I don't just mean the word, but the film of that title, independently written and directed by Sally Potter. It's a beautiful film who everybody should see and possibly my favourite of all time. I have just painstakingly written down one of the film's defining monologues as delivered by the wonderful Shirley Henderson, only to find one of the pages I had written it on decided to come away from my notebook! So I thought I would make it my first blog entry and share it with you all. I think I shall like it to be read at my funeral.<br /><br />I think it's beautiful, enjoy...<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">"Dirt doesn't go. It just gets moved around. Some things get burnt or buried in the ground. But fire makes smoke and soot and greasy grime, and buried stuff crops up after a time. It travels slowly, one could say it creeps. It's all the water underneath, it seaps. God gave us eyes that do not see too much or we'd go mad. We'd never want to touch a bed again, a sofa or a chair, if we could see the things that live in there. There's millions of them, loads of things with legs. They fornicate and then they lay their eggs. They think our dirt is lovely. They survive by eating what we shed, they're alive 'cause bits of us are dead. Now smaller than the mites are the germs. Well, we do what we can, we scrub and scrub, but they fly when we sneeze, on drops of moisture, packed out with disease. Then all we have to do is take a breath and they're inside us, fighting to the death. Not just germs, seems they're not the worst. There's viruses. Some say they were the first things to exist, because they're so small they can't be cleaned away, not at all, not ever. That's why really in the end there's no such thing as spotless. Just send the dirt somewhere else, push it around. The work is endless, that is what I have found. Maybe this earth is just a ball of fluff, some great big cleaner out there said "Enough!" and that is how we all survived. Why not? We're just the parasites that God forgot. The point is this: we never disappear, despite it being what we all most fear. We're certainly not finished when we die, however hard the undertakers try. Every single creature feeds another, everyone is everybody's mother, or at the very least a kind of host. When we expire perhaps we change at most, but never vanish. No, we leave a stain, a fingerprint, some mess, perhaps some pain. Some fear or doubt in someone else's heart. We leave a mess in fact when we depart. When you look closer, nothing goes away. It changes, see, like night becomes a day, and day the night. But even that's not true. It's really all about your point of view depending where you're standing on the Earth. And in the end, it simply isn't worth your while to try and clean your life away. You can't, for everything you do or say is there. Forever. It leaves evidence. In fact it's really only common sense there's no such thing as nothing, not at all. It may be really very, very small but it's still there. In fact I think I guess that No does not exist. There's only Yes." </span></span>CuRiouS KaThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03443902906003511683noreply@blogger.com0