Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Yet More Thoughts - from modern house of torrential rain!

Hello again,

I'll do my best to keep this brief. And I want to make this my last post in a while because it has really dawned on me today how far removed from modernity I need to be. The rain last night was insane! I hardly slept. And tonight it continues. Today whilst it rained and I was trapped indoors unable to proceed with the mountain of wood-chip that is currently my task to spread across the garden, so I cleaned. I cleaned things that were cleaner than things I have ever taken it upon myself to clean before. This guy's house is so clean that it seems futile to spend time cleaning it! Give me outdoor showers and long-drop toilets again pleeeease!!

Basically, for me, modern life is so full of un-necessary distractions - this darn computer for one - that it spins me right out of myself and into pondering obscurity, and the seeking of comfort from things that are essentially over-indulgent and un-necessary. I am looking forward to island life on Waiheke, where I am headed shortly. I do not want these distractions, there is no time for them. Of course it's wonderful that I can communicate with people back home but it is so easy to get caught up for hours on a computer whilst forgetting what is around you in the moment.


Apologies in advance if I go off the radar for a while. I shall no doubt continue to get sucked into this computer so long as I stay at this house but that should only be a few more days. I need to be removed from distraction and temptation in order to centre myself and focus into my own experiences of the NOW, which is where I want to be. I guess most people don't have this kind of trouble?!

One more thing - I do not want to judge others, but merely observe, and decide on what I feel is right for me, however I cannot help but feel saddened at what seems an apparent lack of interaction / attention on the part of my current host with regards to his son. I want to discuss this with him but not sure how to approach the subject and be honest without causing offence. He obviously loves his son (who is 3) and is trying to raise him as best he can, providing a beautiful home and teaching him right and wrong. However I am not sure if what appears to me to be a lack of attention / communication / understanding is merely a highlight of still unresolved issues / bitterness harboured by myself with regards to my relationship with my own father. This is all getting rather deep. It just seems to me that to impress upon a child all the things they must not do, sets them up for a life of worrying about getting things wrong. But like I said perhaps this is just as it relates to me, in fact it almost certainly is, since the situations we find ourselves in do tend to mirror what is going on within ourselves. I feel the need to simply get out of the situation yet also to use it as an opportunity to overcome something within me which I clearly need to deal with.


Many lessons to be learned. Many many questions. And the rain continues to pour! But worry not dear friends of mine for I am enjoying and savouring every moment.


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