The word beauty is used a lot in this one...

OK! Here goes. The last 3 months have been so incredibly packed with beautiful experiences, amazing people, creative expression, freedom, excitement, massive learning curves, fun... I could not possibly explain it all here, especially since right now I am being distracted by other people's conversations. I would listen to music but 2 days ago my mp3 player's hard drive packed in so now I have no music to take on my travels. Looks like I will be spending more time playing harmonica then! Which is cool because I bought a new one, in a different key to my last one. At first I thought it sounded really sad when I played it and was gutted that I hadn't just got the same key as before, however I persisted and now think it sounds even better and I am constantly surprising myself with my ability to come out with great sounds!

So...let's go back in time, back to where my Parihaka blog left off (though if you haven't read the other short blog I posted recently then do that before starting here). I am really excited to be able to tell you loudly and proudly about all the things I have been doing, it's been immense....

I return to Auckland to write the epic Parihaka blog and also work at Big Day Out, a one day touring festival where I take part in the first year of their Eco Team, aiding the public with making decisions about which bin to put their waste in (recycling/compost/refuse). The festival featured The Prodigy as headliners; the first band I ever saw way back when I was about 16. And that gig led on to so much for me, in fact it was a seminal event in my life when I look back and see what choices I made and experiences I had as a result of it. So to see them again with all this new perspective on life is amazing. I get right to the front section of the Boiler Room (a huge hot and sweaty dance marquee!) and fully let go with all the sweaty crowd, massive elation is felt by all!

I travel to Wilderland, an organic farm / hippy commune in the Coromandel Peninsula. Full of beautiful old plum and apple and orange and avocado trees, a huge variety of different vegetables. I get to stay in my own little wooden house which has plants growing into it through the walls and a deck overlooking the estuary. It was serene and beautiful, a total wonderland. Great to be out of the city and back looking after plants and swimming in the sea to keep clean.

At Wilderland I assist a fellow called Tim with the construction of a giant fabric pyramid for the festival Kiwiburn. Kiwiburn is the New Zealand regional version of Burning Man. Burning Man is a huge arts festival lasting 6 days in the middle of the Nevada desert, where the theme is community, radical self reliance, creative 'anything goes' expression and fun! It also involves absolutely no commerce, people take what they need and give to each other, the only thing you can buy there is ice. I really want to go to Burning Man so thought Kiwiburn would be a great way to get my head around the concept and reality of what Burning Man would be like. Burning Man is about 60000 people, Kiwiburn is 250 - a perfect starting point and way to experience the root essence of Burning Man!

I take driver's seat for the 4-hour van mission from Wilderland, we arrive at night, one of the first vehicles to arrive for set-up. Over the course of the next few days we finish the pyramid, sewing fabric together with an OLD and almost dead sewing machine. Its base measures 13 metres and the fabric is bright white so sunglasses are essential! The pyramid construction is an EPIC mission, and once it's actually up, which takes about 3 days, I am exhausted and proceed to get stupidly drunk at the free bar night held by next-door neighbour camp SkullFuck. Someone shows up with a soundsystem for our pyramid, a guy called Owen who becomes a very important character in my life - Owen is the only person with the patience to listen to my moans and give me lots of cuddles, on the one day I feel really drained and vacant. The following day I get up early and go all out with decorating the inside of the pyramid with strips of fabric, silver ribbons, balloons, and other people show up with lights, lasers etc. It looks so beautiful! It's impossible to describe, or explain it all, I could write 10,000 words on the festival. It included such activities as a tea party full of cakes and chocolate and men dressed up as women, naked jelly wrestling (which I take part in!), a sail upon a makeshift pirate ship on a lake, a giant circle of people watching as the huge wooden 'man' burnt on the last night, fire spinning (I now own my own fire staff). Beautiful people, giving, partying, expressing themselves. It is also my first experience of San Pedro cactus juice - mescalin. This is a naturally produced perception opening substance that gives me a wonderful insight into my ability to create my reality as I wish it to be, to remember that this life of mine is my own experience and it's all about the choices I make and what I want to see in the world is what I can create. Like I keep saying, this is impossible to explain without many many more words!!! One thing I will say is it gave me the 'what the hell' attitude and confidence to stand in a field singing at the top of my lungs the verse of Guillemots song 'We're Here' which goes as follows:

"Oh yes we're here, free to run and cry, obliged to try and nothing is worth winning without a fight, oh yes we're here, free to go insane, joy and pain I'll find it in the corridors inside, cause we are just seconds, seconds in a day....."

Applause breaks out as I come to the end of my singing and I run away sheepishly but laughing and feeling super chuffed with my free expression!

I stick around til well after the official festival ending during which time I assist with the packing up, the MOOP patrol (Matter Out Of Place - ie. litter - the Burning Man ethos includes an absolute Leave No Trace attitude), and the consumption of all the food and drink that had been donated by people as they had left. A LOT of fun was had! Another important part of the ethos by the way is 'If you see something that needs doing, do it!'....

You can see a great photo album of the festival at the following address:
http://picasaweb.google.com/lumosnz/Kiwiburn2009#

From Kiwiburn I travel back to Auckland and then jump on the ferry to Great Barrier Island, a 5 hour journey offshore. It's a huge island (do not associate with Great Barrier Reef!) with no connection to the main power grid. People are pretty much self sufficient over here and make their own power via solar panels, wood and hydro-wheels, there's some tar sealed roads but mainly they're gravel. SO it's rough and rustic and just what I need ... The landscape is big, the nature is dominant (only 600 people live here and it's a huge island), I stay somewhere where I have my own little cabin and separate outdoor kitchen and toilet, there's a creek running through the property which all the water I drink comes from and which I access by climbing down a bank through some trees, to find massive purple boulders, a waterfall, and a tiny cave with glow-worms in, a beautiful place to bathe and find solitude. One day I decide to scale the ridge on the other side of the creek as I am desperate to get up high and see some views. So barefoot I climb this steep bank through all manner of trees and shrubs til I reach the top and see stunning views of the tropical blue oceans and green mountains all around. I then find a different way down and go skinny dipping off a pier I find, then, still barefoot, climb round a load of rocks in search of the sunset but alas, the headland is too big to make it. On return to the house I meet the lovely Andy, one of the locals who a few days later I hook up with and spend a beautiful weekend with which involves getting a wonderful guided tour of the island and climbing to the highest point, Mount Hobson, from which the views of the island and the east coast of New Zealand are STUNNING. A very special connection was made with Andy and with the island. Oh gosh I nearly forgot, oh man how did I almost forget to add this...on the way to our little mountain climbing trip we drove past a bay where dolphins were swimming. So I stripped and got in and swam with them. Just me and about 8 dolphins playing in the waves. At times they were SO close I thought they might crash into me. I jumped around with them and stuck my head underwater and heard them calling. At one point the water went really still and they were circling me. Craziest thing is that when I was on the ferry on the way to the island I remembered having had a dream the night before in which I was swimming with dolphins, then a week later, it's what I am doing. The sunset from the mountain that evening is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen and, wow I am gushing with the memory and wishing I could express my excitement more!

After 10 days on The Barrier and a much needed return to nature, space, time with myself and lots of amazing ornagic food, including heaps of fresh fish, some of which I caught and gutted myself, I return to Auckland and the next morning go to the airport to meet Mum, who is flying over to see me. I make her a sign and scream and make a massive fuss when she walks through the gate. She's just done a massive thing to fly over here on her own so deserves a big fuss, none of this quiet polite hello stuff you normally see at airports!

During the space of 2 weeks Mum and I drive 3000km in our beautifully spray-painted rental camper van. Our journey takes us first to Tauranga where we spend some time with Owen who is such a beautiful positive inspiring person: when him and I are together we create this wonderful loop of inspiring ourselves to be ourselves more and it's all so positive and magical! Owen assists me in helping Mum to relax into the mode of freedom I am currently existing in and how to embrace change and be excited like a child at all moments you encounter. We take her to a bar to watch a big fire spinning performance put on by the fire performance crew he's involved with (many of whom were at Kiwiburn so it's good for me to see them again!).

Mum and I then travel to Rotorua and vist all the steamy lakes there (it's a very volcanic region). We go to the natural hot pools, I teach Mum how to dig a hole in the bush to poo in (when you gotta go you gotta go, it's NATURAL) and then I learn how to breath fire. Mum watches as I stand naked in the hot pool at night blowing flames across the water. Epic! Next day we vist a beautiful volcanic valley and watch geysers and gorgeous rainbow coloured stones and visit a massive cave. Then after the short boat ride back to the van a heap of rain comes through the valley and once it's passed us we see what I'd rate as the most intense rainbow I have ever seen. A full rainbow that is so bright and whose ends actually go into the water that is only a few hundred metres away from us. Magic!

The next day the impossible occurs. Mum does a skydive! I do one too, of course, and even manage to persuade them to let me do it barefoot (yes I have a bit of an obsession about learning to do things barefoot, and naked, as you will have gathered. Trying to be more natural!).... but yeh, wow, GO MUM! Needless to say she loved it! The next day we go on a trip to White Island which is an active volcano off the east coast that you can ONLY vist with a guided tour because it's actually the crater of an active volcano. No molten lava here but instead a multitude of different coloured stone, steam, acid lakes, wow it was so beautiful. The living Earth. Oh how I love it!

We then drive to Gisborne, in order to see the sunrise over the sea the next morning from what is the first city in the world to see sunrise. We don't actually make it out of the van to watch it properly but are parked on a clifftop and at least peer out the window at it before drifting back to sleep.

Heading to the south we stop in a town and pick up bakery delights from the place that won New Zealand's Best Cake Award. Pick up a hitch-hiker who tells us some wonderful stories of his travels, then visit a friend I made at Parihaka, in Otaki on the west coast. Spend an afternoon beach combing for driftwood, pebbles and watching birds and the ocean. Next day we hit Wellington and catch the ferry to the South Island. By the next morning we are in Nelson stocking up with organic veggies and beautiful food at the market. We take the drive to Golden Bay which is gorgeous and visit Pupu springs - the clearest natural spring in the world! Then we head to the west coast. Rough, rugged and stunningly beautiful. The South Island landscape is HUGE! We visit a seal colony, some incredible rock formations, camp by the beach, see some stunning coastal scenery and head south to the main destination for Mum - the Franz Josef Glacier. The day our glacier trip is booked for is rained off so we get kitted out with waterproofs and do the riverbed walk to the glacier face and get SOAKED, spend the rest of the afternoon drying out and drinking tea and the next day.....THIS happens:

Awaken to sunrise looking at Mount Cook and the Fox Glacier, go for a walk around Lake Matheson, the famous 'mirror lake' which you see beautiful mountain reflections in...go and get kitted out and jump on a helicopter which takes us half way up the Franz Josef Glacier, where we get our cramp-ons (spiky ice feet) on and spend the next few hours stomping around on the ice, climbing through holes, surrounded by gorgeous bluey white ice and steep rock faces. It isn't even that cold, we're only just inland from the rainforest and here we are walking on a massive glacier. It's insane. It's beautiful. The helicopter ride back takes us over a ridge at a rate which pulls more G force than I have felt on any rollercoaster and invokes some intense screams of laughter!

After the trip we head north again and stop in time to watch a beautiful sunset over the ocean. A perfect day. In the morning we see Kiwi birds in the local sancturary then head east accross the country through a massive variety of neverendingly beautiful scenery til we hit Christchurch and stay at Tim's house. Next day Mum catches the plane home after an action packed few weeks and here's me, back almost to where I began my last blog from.

In Christchurch there has been a load of stuff happenening for me. First off is the realisation 'Oh my god it's COLD!!" ...it's Autumn time, the clocks go back, there are a lot of English trees around here so I get to experience the Autumn colours after a summer which has lasted since last May/June time. It's nice to experience the seasonal change and the casting off of old and looking towards the cosiness and dealing with coldness of winter. I am excited by it. The cold is difficult to deal with but it's a challenge I relish along with all others. Life is here to be enjoyed regardless of what is thrown at you you can make good and fun out of it...

I spend my first week in Christchurch feeling a little vacant after Mum has left and take the opportunity to contact friends and family and catch up on emails etc. I also get involved in helping a beautiful couple to pack their shipping container - they are in the process of moving from Oregon to the Pacific island of Tonga. Out of this I make $200 and inherit a bike, which proves to be a great use to me as Christchurch is a flat city so with a bike I am totally sorted for getting around. I proceed to spend a few days relaxing in the Botanical Gardens which are full of a multitude of amazing trees, plants and flowers. It is in these gardens that I finally crack the art of bending notes on my harmonica.

I learn how to dumpster dive (ie. fish out all the perfectly edible food that supermarkets throw away each day, from the dumpsters at night-time), I visit the art gallery, socialise with the array of lovely people I am currently living with and then have the absolute pleasure of watching the pianist David Helfgott performing in a tiny venue in the city.

This is an epic night, I travelled alone on a bus to the Royal Albert Hall in London at the age of 17 to see this guy play, such was his level of inspiration to me, and now he's here doing an informal recital in Christchurch. What are the chances?!! There's an amazing story behind this but I might leave that for a while to keep the length of this blog down (it's long enough already I know!). Suffice to say; I not only get to speak to and hug him, but also am privileged enough to kneel beside him at the piano whilst he plays the piece by Rachmaninoff that I used to be able to play myself. His words to me are "Keep on smiling, and seeing into the future to keep on smiling! Positive is the key"... I am gushing and crying with joy when I leave the place!

And next on the story is one that will surprise people the most - I'm sitting outside the library one day and look over the road to the sign saying 'Striptease'. The idea pops into my head 'hey I wonder what it would be like' followed shortly by 'maybe I should give it a go'... I sit on the idea for a few days until I realise I have thought about it too much to NOT attempt it! So I rock up to the strip club and ask if they need anyone to work. They say sure and I am welcomed in. What proceeds is such an interesting and enjoyable evening that completely defies all the negative warnings and advice I had been given by people and all the judgements I can almost read your mind that you are having right now as you read this! The place is beautiful and the people I work with are lovely. They really help me out and make me feel welcome and when it comes to getting up on stage I just go 'okay, here I am, it can't be that hard, just get up there and dance and feel sexy and take off your clothes and people will give you money'. Doing any moves on the poles is extremely hard and I have utter respect for the girls who can do it! I have so many interesting conversations that night, no sleazy men, just grown-ups having fun, it's exploitation of men more than women I reckon but regardless it's a whole lot of fun and a real confidence booster and yet another step in my learning curve of becoming comfortable with my own body. Also I walk away with about $200. I was actually doing it more for the experience than the money but of course it's a bonus! The girls are really into my individuality which is fantastic.

A few days later I go on a camping trip to Mount Cook with another Kiwiburn friend called Munk. He's a DJ from San Francisco and is a beautiful soul I'm delighted to have got to know, and we have a fantastic time getting out of the city and spending some time next to the snow capped mountains, walking along a river bed next to glaciers and coming across a glacial lake with icebergs floating around it. Despite the hot ginger wine with cinnamon we freeze at night and wake up to frost but are blessed with beautiful sunshine throughout the days. We then head back towards Christchurch driving past this incredible glacial lake that is HUGE and the most intense blue it's almost the same colour as the sky, I am ecstatic at its beauty; we meet up with yet more Kiwiburn friends on the way. Party time at the weekend involves going to my first outdoor dance party, which is about an hour out of town in beautiful surroundings in a gorge. I take acid and dance (listening to trance music going 'I cannot believe I am not hating this!') and look at the stars and laugh and fall in love with nature yet again! Watching the sunrise and the scenery unfold is so joyous, I am walking around with such a grin on my face and such excitement and wonder about life and existence and the beauty of nature. Acid is an amazing drug and anyone with preconceptions about it due to lack of knowledge or experience would do well to try it, or at least read some of the positive stories about it and keep an open mind because my experience of it has been one of complete and utter beauty, joy, wonder and happiness!

Back in town I am being indecisive about what to do next, and consider staying around since there's now a spare room in the house that I could actually call my own for a week and after some really helpful chats with a lovely man named Phil, I decide to stick around for another week to further my progression and save some money. So Kitten the stripper continues to play! I am glad of returning to the club because there is more to learn - more moves, more physical exercise, more opinions and interesting conversations, more to learn about myself, more feeling sexy and confident, and reconnecting with my music (I get to pick my own songs to dance to). I spend a wonderful week dancing and having fun at the club and also connecting with Phil, a wonderful soul who writes fantastic creative philosophical poetry that I gel with very intensely. "Freedom is past that wall in your mind. So why not go there and see what you find?!" ... We go through a lot together in a very short time and learn from each other and inspire each other and do a lot of positive goodness for each other. I love the fact that I keep on making amazing connections with people over here!

And that pretty much brings things to right here right now sitting finally typing this up and figuring out what next. Do I stay and strip some more and earn more money (I have completed my initial goal of saving enough to pay for my visa extension, bungee jump and new harmonica) or do I head south, to the mountains, which are calling me to go pretty darn soon. They are so beautiful, I have never before in my life seen proper snow capped mountains until the last month.

So we shall see.

Thanks for your patience. I wish I could write more, actually I will....

In conclusion what I will say is that I have really only touched upon the depth of my experience and learning and fun by describing what I have done over the last few months. Most of the REALLY interesting stuff ie. the big stories and emotions behind it all, are not really there in the list of happenings. People who read this might be a bit surprised at the variety and intensity of all the experiences listed here and wonder how on earth such things are possible and how do I get the courage and the time or how do I manage to find out about this or that etc. All I can say to that is that the more you believe in yourself the more good comes to you, the more you push yourself the more you learn and progress, the more positively you look at each situation the more you can gain from it. Also the more you desire to do good to others and look after them and to look after the planet, the more you get looked after! Of COURSE there have been times of sadness and doubt and indecision and confusion but they're all there to be embraced and learnt from and enjoyed as well. I am free and loving it. Anyone can do this if they want to. Your life is yours to make up as you go along. It's so much fucking fun!!!!

I love you all
miaow
x

3 months later...

Hi... shy yet cheeky smiles as I look at the date of my last blog and realise it's been nearly 3 months since I wrote about Parihaka. I have been aware of the time delay yet wondering how on earth I am going to condense all the adventures, progress and inspirations into something that you will all be able to find the time to read!

Hence I have been putting it off. And I still am in fact since it's a sunny day outside and I need to go and buy a new harmonica as well as socialise with the people outside the house I'm currently staying in. It's a huge place with 8 bedrooms in the city of Christchurch(NZ South Island), a massive old house with loads of character - it used to be a brothel! Most of the people living here are training at Circus School and involved in all manner of creative and socially conscious activities.

There is a lot of partying here too! You know what, I may end up telling this story backwards, a section at a time.

Right now I am actually about to go out and try and buy a new harmonica, since mine vanished a few weeks ago just days after I had finally managed to get the hang of note-bending.

Blog might resume piece by piece this time, but I have broken the first barrier at last!
xxx

An English heart flooded by Maori spirit: Parihaka and its International Peace Festival

It is with great trepidation that I begin this attempt to put into words some sort of summary of the events spanning the 10 days I spent at Parihaka. I think back to how wound up I became when writing a few months back that what I could express of my experience as conveyed through words seemed so far from the real truth of what I wanted to share. I felt (and still feel) as if the residual background worry of not being able to do justice to my experiences by trying to capture and share them with words or photographs, was actually hampering my own experience of each present time I found myself in, twisted as that may sound! So, I decided I needed to be free from that worry for a while and forced my own removal from the internet and mobile phone world, I’ve hardly taken any photos either, for the last 5 or 6 weeks. It’s greatly increased my clarity of understanding of life; living pure and simple, feeling more in tune with myself and nature, and such magical flow has happened. But returning to the city, to technology, the internet, to this piece of writing, is a sacrifice I am delighted to make for the people of Parihaka, I know I cannot convey all of my experience but my aim is to get the message across that deserves to be spread; even if just one person reading is inspired by it.

Parihaka is a Pa site in Taranaki on the West Coast of the North Island of Aotearoa (the Maori name for New Zealand, meaning ‘land of the long white cloud'). This is the fourth year of Parihaka International Peace Festival. 3 days of music, eco workshops, films, healing and speakers’ forums to celebrate and promote a unified consciousness with all races of the world in our quest for peace amongst us all. I could never have imagined quite how actively this message is promoted by all that is said and done at Parihaka.

The site is beautiful and very unique. The mountain of Taranaki looms in the distance. It’s a classic volcano – a big point on an otherwise mainly flat landscape. Past eruptions have dispersed volcanic flow which has settled across the land in the form of beautiful little hills. So as far as layout for a festival goes it’s great because the music stages can go on the flat bits and there’s plenty of hill space for people to sit on and take it all in, plus a creek running through the middle. The snow-capped volcanic mountain sits proudly in the distance to the east, the ocean to the west. Small boulders are scattered around which artists have carved intricate designs into, and up by the community buildings are nestled the remains of stone walls built in the 1800s.

Parihaka is a very important site in the history of the Maori people. Over a hundred years ago it was a thriving Maori community from which people were captured and sent to the South Island to work as slaves for the British colonists. Many never returned. The Maori, who at first welcomed the British onto their land to share in its benefit, were robbed of that which is most sacred to them – their whenua (land) and their whanau (family/community). It was at Parihaka in the 1800s that the Maori elder Te Whiti was the first to ever use the art of ‘passive resistance’ – peaceful protest and complete passivity in the face of oppression, a practice that was adopted by Gandhi yet its birthplace here is a fact omitted from most history books.

I could now go on to recount the many horrors and wrongs done to the Maori race – the tribal people who lived in harmony with nature on this island for many years before Captain Cook ‘discovered’ it – and in particular with reference to this site. But as is the message and spirit I have come to understand from the community living at Parihaka now, there is little point in dwelling on the past, and every point in focussing on the now and building for a unified future.

I arrive in Parihaka at 1am on the Sunday night before the festival weekend ( Fri 9th-Sun 11th January), to volunteer during the week with the set-up. My first time ever in a Maori community, I am welcomed into the marae - the building into which people in the community come to eat, drink, relax, discuss, play music and generally meet and be together. Considering what the English have done to the indigenous races of the world I was a little apprehensive as to how my arrival would be greeted, but could not have been more warmly received, as if I was one of the family.

There is a lot to learn from the Parihaka story and the Maori people....

Ko te poo te kai hari it e raa
Ko te mate te kaihari it e oranga

The beautiful classical language of Maori uses the words above to describe that “Just as the night brings forth the day, death brings forth life” – that through the depths of despair, one can discover the vitality and joy of what it is to be alive. The Maori struggles of having land seized, people imprisoned and killed and freedoms quashed, have only made stronger their spirit and resilience to move forward. Despite countless tales of abuse the prevailing sentiment here amongst the people is still one of such positive spirit, a view of humanity as one race and an actual living realisation of this belief through kindliness to and cooperation with all who come to visit, no matter what colour or nationality.

Maoris have a strong sense of their tribal identity and this is displayed in their upkeep of customs which they take delight in sharing with everyone they meet. For example the powhiri welcoming display and speech given at the beginning of the festival to welcome all the visitors to the land, the greeting a Maori gives when they meet you; a touching of the forehead and nose and a sharing of the breath, which they say is so that the spirits of two are united as one. I have a strong sense of déjà vu on a number of occasions in this place and soon feel very connected with the land and people; perhaps there’s something really deep causing this, or maybe it’s because the whole community is so welcoming that everybody feels very at home and comfortable here; their stated intention.

Meal time in the marae consists of the ringing of a bell to round everybody into the dining room area, followed by a short speech delivered in Maori giving thanks for the food provided. Then it’s an orderly queue as everybody digs in to the feast on offer: salads, stews, curries, vegetables, bread. Young and old, national and international mix and talk over their meal and each person does something to help with the tidying up. Everybody is concerned for everybody else’s enjoyment, assisting each other with pleasure, and it is a delight to be involved in. This feeling resounds throughout practically everything that occurs here at Parihaka!
Evening times often involve music jamming and it is here that I somehow find the courage to just go ahead and play my harmonica in front of people (almost a complete first for me). Guitars are played, tobacco is smoked, tea is drunk and stories are shared. Laughter abounds and getting to know the characters here is a pleasure. For the first couple of nights I sleep in the marae’s communal sleeping space where I set up a mattress on the floor. The walls are lined with framed photos of deceased ancestors of the community. This community may be poor but they have a lot of pride for their marae and for their ability to look after guests by maintaining mutual respect and care for the space and tidiness of the communal areas. Everybody here says hello to each other, smiles and chats. In Maori ‘Hello’ is ‘Kia Ora’. The community kids run around all over the place and nobody locks their doors.

Each day in the run up to the festival, more volunteers arrive, hailing from Germany, Switzerland, Australia, Italy, France, Bolivia, Canada and USA. Communal breakfast time is set for 7am, and on Tuesday since I’m one of the first in the kitchen I decide to attempt to make a pot of porridge big enough for about 40 people. I get the quantities a little wrong but am thanked sincerely for getting involved. We have an hour or so to eat and mingle before a meeting is called to discuss what needs to be done for the day. Signs need to be painted, caravans towed, fencing built, wooden seats erected, gorse cleared, flags put together and up. The whole process is very organic and people disperse into teams, everybody is here with a common purpose in mind and nobody needs to be hounded into working because we’re all here to help make this festival a success. Still, I don’t grasp the concept immediately, the days are long and I end up trying too hard to do too much and worry about how it’s all going to get done in time, I try my best to help everybody and by the time Thursday arrives I have a stinking cold. I put this down to a general lack of sleep and exhaustion from doing/worrying too much (the week before I arrived here I was at another festival where I worked, partied and had little sleep also). I make hot lemon, garlic and honey drinks to fight it off.

By the time the welcoming powhiri on Friday morning begins I’m sitting amongst Maori elders feeling very emotional (I feel really ill and tired today, I’m surprised I woke up feeling worse). I don’t know exactly what is going on or if I should be sitting on the opposite side of the grass but I am assured I am fine where I am since I have been helping all week. Well over a thousand people have gathered for the festival’s opening ceremony. From the side I am sitting I watch as various members of the community here stand and call out over the gap, in a combination of spoken and chanted Maori, and then some of the women start to sing/chant, from both sides of the grass. I am not sure why but tears are rolling down my face, it’s not that I am sad; I am in fact enjoying the experience. I allow the emotion to be felt as some sort of deep connection is occurring here! Much is spoken in Maori and I take the general gist of this to be about giving thanks and welcoming visitors to the land. Then the queue commences as each and every one of the people who have recently arrived at the pa are individually greeted; hugging and exchanging breaths in the traditional way with the 5 or 6 representatives from the festival / pa community currently standing to welcome them. It’s a beautiful thing to watch.

I am reassuringly told by several people that I should relax and enjoy the festival; my physical and mental energy are very much depleted meaning I have little choice BUT to relax. So the festival commences and I sleep for a while in the giant marquee that’s been erected for volunteers. Rather than trying to help everybody all of the time I decide that it’s obviously meant to be a quiet one for me and that I will spend time listening to the various public speakers that are planned and continue in my course of learning about the Maori culture and the true meaning behind the festival .

At the opening discussion in the festival Speakers’ Forum, Te Miringa (festival director) speaks of Parihaka’s focus on the kinship of humanity as one whole, and discusses what is most important to the Maori - the whakapapa – this word encompasses their ancestry, their land, their sense of place, and sense of belonging. In discussing this he reminds everyone to think about the importance of knowing where you are, who you are and how you’re going to be who you are. I know it’s the reason I am travelling. And to consider far enough back in time is to know that all of us share common ancestors anyway, we are really all cousins who have come from out of the forest; nature put us here, not the other way around.

The message is of togetherness and united humanity, I am so happy and in agreement I want to cry!

Of course the musical acts performing at the festival have their own messages to give as well and the first bands on Friday night reawaken my joy at being involved in the set-up of the festival as most if not all of the bands appearing have conscious / socially aware lyrics, as well as some fine dancing tunes which hype up the crowds and fill me with new energy. There’s truly some great music in this country!

I wrote this in my notebook on Sat 10th January:
“What stands out the most about this festival are the Maori and the young. It’s a steep learning curve and I am enchanted by the welcoming, friendliness, approachability and concern of the Maori people to everybody they meet. And their youngsters, who from the outside could so easily be judged for their appearance and perceived ‘attitude’ (hiphop stylee) are all so friendly, easy to talk to, respectful and kind to all. I have heard and seen no harshness towards me (the outsider, the English girl) and feel a deep affinity with these people. I want to learn more and to help protect their culture, history and traditional knowledge...so...though it feels a shame that I’ve had little energy to fully experience and engage in the festival, the music, the eco forums etc, I know not to worry because in doing so I have had a subdued status which has allowed another side of things to become apparent – that of the beauty and plight of the Maori people. They care so much about every individual’s enjoyment of life and all they really seem to want is to enjoy their lives, protect their culture, families and future. I think it’s beautiful.”

I also listened to Hone Harawira, member of Aotearoa New Zealand’s Maori Party, who delivered a heart warming, personal and honest speech the likes of which you could never imagine an English MP making. Jokes, swear words, even self ridicule! He discussed the goings on in the Middle East and suggested that the only way New Zealand can help is through the premise of ‘Helping yourself before you can help anybody else.’ Meaning for everybody in the country to focus on looking after each other, so that New Zealand can realise its potential to become a unified country and stand as a beacon for the rest of the world. There is plenty of conflict within the country including a lot of racial prejudice towards the Maoris due to gangs, violence and drug taking in the cities. And to be honest I don’t find it hard at all to understand why young people become a part of this - domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse in their families, combined with a deep subconscious lack of belonging stemming back to when their tribal rites were stripped by white colonists – being part of a gang must somehow fill that gap, especially if they’re stuck in the city far from nature. I imagine growing up in that situation how hard it would be to break the cycle. Yet I have met Maoris at Parihaka who were previously caught up in all that and are now dedicating their time to their community and the education of their young. ‘Leading by example’. Here on display is the true nature of Maori spirit, showing that the only way individuals can help with these issues is to put positive focus into their own lives and communities, whoever they are.

Being immersed in this Maori community has shown me how the simple act of believing in the genuine desire between humans to love and help each other, and seeing and feeling that in action and being a part of it, is creating a ‘virus’ of positivity that I feel certain to be causing positive change further afield.

At Parihaka they are actually doing something and BEING the positive change they want to see. Community, togetherness, respect for one another and for nature and the land. Sharing; shared struggles and strifes, shared laughter, shared music, shared food, shared duties and tasks, shared burden, shared enjoyment. Shared ideas, shared knowledge, shared understanding that everyone is an individual and needs their own space and identity and freedoms, whilst existing as part of a community where the whole functions beautifully outweighing the sum of its parts.

There is no sense of class, superiority or prejudice here. People have roles within the community but all are considered as important as one another. In terms of the festival, the volunteers who help to pick up litter are treated just the same as the performers – with respect, welcoming and an open heart. Everybody is valued for the part they have to play in making the event a success. Massive credit to these guys for organising such an excellent 3 day festival with no previous experience, and portraying such a strong and important message with such grace and passion.

On the final day of the festival, high winds cause the main stage framework to buckle and the stage has to be cancelled. No-one’s spirits seem affected by this, as Te Miringa explains: “We organically adapt and use obstacles as opportunities”. As I finally am feeling a bit better, I find myself being offered work at another festival the following weekend but it would involve me leaving here on Monday. I decide I want to stay a bit longer, to learn and connect further with the people who live here, and to help pack up and clear the site of litter. By the time I reach Wednesday I am walking around an empty site collecting plastic bottle tops and ringpulls and breathing in the air full of renewed spirit and positivity. It is from atop the hill overlooking where the main stage recently stood that I witness, for the first time in my life, the sun setting over the ocean.

As the immensely long list of different personal encounters, conversations, musical and visual experiences whizzes around my head I feel an overwhelming sense of joy and kinship. I feel a striking affinity with these people, and their ‘facing the challenges, being a part of the solution’ approach to life; demonstrating that love and peace when combined with positive intention, education, resolve, compassion and action, are the seeds of a bright future where humanity lives in harmony with itself and nature. Why not?

.

.

.

http://www.parihaka.com/

And what did she learn?

I just wanted to close the subject of the last post regarding my negative judgement and determination to see through said judgement due to being aware that there was surely something about myself that it served to highlight for me to overcome.

This was indeed the case and I did indeed learn a lot. The expanse of which I will not go into here suffice to say that I am humbled by the whole situation and very grateful to Adrian for simply being himself and for the part he unknowingly played in yet another leap in my journey of personal growth. I don't think I could ever describe exactly what / how this happened so I'm not going to try! A few thoughts relating to the matter ...

Judge not others lest you be judged yourself.

In fact scrap that - judge yourself using the judgement you find yourself placing upon others.

Go out into your world, do exactly what you fear the most, and observe yourself carefully.

And, ultimately:

Observe without judgement

In case you're interested I'm now back in Auckland staying with my second cousin-in-law and learning of family history that I didn't know existed. My great uncle Cyril had a book published! There is something interesting about the Drew family after all!!

Also last night I span fire.

Today I helped a class of 9 year olds at a Steiner school build a wall with mud/straw bricks they made last week.

More random facts:
The god of wine is called Dionysus.
Everything is perceptual
I found the giant kauri in the forest
I got drenched in the rain on the way out of the forest whilst listening to Metallica's Black Album!
Fear is not a reason for quitting, it is only an excuse.
Self control is bound to be challenging.
Kat is incapable of being anything less than philosophical. Sorry.
Actually no, I'm not sorry, I love it!

Kat is enjoying saying YES a lot.
xx

Yet More Thoughts - from modern house of torrential rain!

Hello again,

I'll do my best to keep this brief. And I want to make this my last post in a while because it has really dawned on me today how far removed from modernity I need to be. The rain last night was insane! I hardly slept. And tonight it continues. Today whilst it rained and I was trapped indoors unable to proceed with the mountain of wood-chip that is currently my task to spread across the garden, so I cleaned. I cleaned things that were cleaner than things I have ever taken it upon myself to clean before. This guy's house is so clean that it seems futile to spend time cleaning it! Give me outdoor showers and long-drop toilets again pleeeease!!

Basically, for me, modern life is so full of un-necessary distractions - this darn computer for one - that it spins me right out of myself and into pondering obscurity, and the seeking of comfort from things that are essentially over-indulgent and un-necessary. I am looking forward to island life on Waiheke, where I am headed shortly. I do not want these distractions, there is no time for them. Of course it's wonderful that I can communicate with people back home but it is so easy to get caught up for hours on a computer whilst forgetting what is around you in the moment.

Anyway...

Apologies in advance if I go off the radar for a while. I shall no doubt continue to get sucked into this computer so long as I stay at this house but that should only be a few more days. I need to be removed from distraction and temptation in order to centre myself and focus into my own experiences of the NOW, which is where I want to be. I guess most people don't have this kind of trouble?!

One more thing - I do not want to judge others, but merely observe, and decide on what I feel is right for me, however I cannot help but feel saddened at what seems an apparent lack of interaction / attention on the part of my current host with regards to his son. I want to discuss this with him but not sure how to approach the subject and be honest without causing offence. He obviously loves his son (who is 3) and is trying to raise him as best he can, providing a beautiful home and teaching him right and wrong. However I am not sure if what appears to me to be a lack of attention / communication / understanding is merely a highlight of still unresolved issues / bitterness harboured by myself with regards to my relationship with my own father. This is all getting rather deep. It just seems to me that to impress upon a child all the things they must not do, sets them up for a life of worrying about getting things wrong. But like I said perhaps this is just as it relates to me, in fact it almost certainly is, since the situations we find ourselves in do tend to mirror what is going on within ourselves. I feel the need to simply get out of the situation yet also to use it as an opportunity to overcome something within me which I clearly need to deal with.

Phew!

Many lessons to be learned. Many many questions. And the rain continues to pour! But worry not dear friends of mine for I am enjoying and savouring every moment.

xx

A New Post ... Rain Falls

As rain falls, as it has been doing for most of the day but tonight has got rather heavy, and I have just spent the last 4 hours working my way through most of the first half of a book entitled The Pleiadian Agenda, for some reason I felt compelled to type a new blog.

Not that I know how many people will read this thing. I have had almost zero emails from folks back home with their news and this rather puzzles me as it's one thing to have the odd 'we miss you' message (and thanks for the comments those of you that have done) but it would be lovely to have some proper letters from you guys!

Anyway back to my current situation. 2.39am. A very small glass of red wine. So much for back to nature eh?! Well hey didn't I say it was all about small steps?! To be honest when I arrived on Thursday at this modern house overlooking the beautiful Whangaroa (the 'Wh' is pronounced like an 'F') Harbour, I was a little freaked out that I was about to be overconsuming all over again. I kinda still am (freaked out I mean), however every experience is here to teach us something and I have already learned a lot in 3 days here due to a bit of an alcohol memory-blackout binge and resulting self-realisations...

Without going into it in too much detail I shall say I am very much in a new state of self awareness and (hopefully) control. I am very much looking forward to this Wednesday, when I shall be going on a small mission through a forest to find and camp by one of the oldest, largest trees in New Zealand - the ancient Kauri Te Tangi O Te Tui. Approx 50 metres tall and over 1000 years old. I am not sure how it will make me feel but I know I need to spend some time with it.

The book I have been reading, by the way, has been a VERY full-on must concentrate hard and have mind wide open experience. I am not sure I am ready to reflect on it yet. I suppose I should reveal something about it here - brace yourselves - it discusses the end of the Mayan Great Calendar in 2012 coinciding with a variety of galactic cycles of mega-scales of time, Earth being very much in line with these cyclic alignments including its entry into the Photon Band. All sounding like gobaldeegook to most of you? Aah well you know when you look up into the sky on a clear night at all those stars and wonder what's really going on? Well there are some serious ideas in this book about the multi-dimensional reality that really exists and how we humans on Earth are rather important indeed if only we could wake up a bit!

Or rather that reality is whatever we think it to be. That anything is possible if we can imagine it to be. That it is scientifically proven that thought can create reality and cure illness, only thoughts cannot be sold for profit so we are all being mislead and sold drugs and technology to keep us trapped in the belief that limitation actually exists.

Limitation is a creation of the mind.

(thanks to Paul Shanta for that quote which fits perfectly to what I have been reading about and here it is amidst some amazing artwork of his, look closely on the top left)...

Hmm perhaps I should halt it there, this was only to be a short blog and I may have scared some of you off! Discussion anybody? If you HAVE made it this far but feeling slightly baffled then I apologise, it's hard to articulate such fast-learning experiences into words. The main point is once again (as per my previous blog): positive thinking brings about positive reaction from the universe. Really!! Our thoughts are SO powerful!

I made it to Cape Reinga by the way. The northern-most point of the country, where the two oceans meet and you can actually see the dividing line, different sea colours and random waves in the middle of it all. Click for photo.....

.... for once they do it justice, you can actually see the line better on the photos than you could in reality! Yes it was a grey day but that did make it all the more amazing because of the way the cloud was forming right above the point where the oceans meet....

Yikes I gotta stop. Having spent a while editting this blog it's now 3.32am.

Plans for next few weeks are still to become definite but looking like New Year will be spent working at Rhythm&Vines Festival in Gisborne, one of the first cities in the world to see sunrise, and Public Enemy are playing!

And just a reminder of my plea... emails pleeeeeeeease to kat_d69@hotmail.com ... if you reckon you miss me then spend half an hour typing me an email about yourself and it will feel like you have spent some time with me... I wanna hear news from YOU!

lots of love as ever....

crazy curious one x

Back to NaTuRe... *** the mother of us all ***

Hello everyone and sorry for not having posted for ages but I have been really avoiding technology and trying to settle into my experience here after such a long and busy build-up. I think I need to explain this further as I have a feeling that a lot of people who know me are not necessarily aware of quite how important the 'nature' element of my travels in New Zealand is.

So here we go...

I came here to WWOOF.

As the WWOOF website describes...Willing Workers on Organic Farms is a world wide network where volunteers ("WWOOFers") live and learn on organic properties. WWOOF volunteers offer their help on the farm and in return they learn about biological farming. Food and accommodation is provided. WWOOF began in New Zealand in 1974.

WWOOFers live with families and get hands-on experience with organic farming, permaculture, earth building, cooking, crafts, wine, cheese and bread making, alternative energy and much more... check wwoof.co.nz to read examples of the variety of host experiences.

Basically the point is that, as many people will know, when I was in England I spent a lot of time preaching about fair trade, free range and organic food etc, so now what I am doing is actually, well not just buying/talking it but DOING it. Learning what it involves to grow vegetables & fruit, look after chickens, pigs etc, live close to 'the source' (NATURE) ...

I tell you it's incredible how good it makes you feel to spend 2 days completely rejuvinating a patch of ground from being totally overgrown with last season's vegetables to being fully hauled over with sacks of horse shit mixed in (after being collected by hand) to make it richer soil for planting a load of baby kumara (a sort of sweet potato) plants into... fresh air, exercise and being outside are SUCH sort outs!!

SO the reality is that I am actually learning and experiencing, the kind of things that back home I merely dreamed of and moaned about. I am doing something about my desire to live more in synchronisation with nature and things just make so much more sense that way. I can't actually imagine how my conscience could let me return to the way of life I had back home and it's starting to dawn on me where many of my guilt issues were rooted.

Learning what herbs are good for what effects on your health and making teas out of them, knowing how to plant baby carrots and what minerals different plants need to grow, watching baby chickens get bigger by feeding them natural food and letting them run around freely, milking the goat that feeds on the grass and family's foodscraps, picking fresh salad leaves, cabbages, broccoli, strawberries...these are a small percentage of the things I have so far experienced whilst WWOOFing.

Oh and eating amazing organic meals and sharing some wonderful conversations in which I don't feel like the odd one out who's 'just being fussy'!!!

Plus, now that I have watched a happy 100% free-range chicken have its head chopped off, helped to pluck it and break bones whilst preparing it for cooking, then later on eating it whilst being fully aware that it was alive and running around that very morning, I am pretty positive that I will never again eat chicken unless I am certain of its origin. Also I have seen the size of naturally fed 6 week old chickens and it aint big. Those ones you buy in the supermarkets are that age and let me tell you those poor things must have been so pumped full of hormones, and simply bred to eat with no respect whatsoever for the beauty of life that it's frightening.....how people can continue to eat these things without feeling sick at the horror of thinking how they've been treated is beyond me.

The time between staying with the WWOOF hosts I am travelling as cheaply as possible, camping in my tent and finding ways to eat and have amazing experiences without spending money.

Oh yeh so that's the other thing - MONEY.

Yes, money is something I am also trying to avoid here in New Zealand. I didn't manage to save a massive amount before I came away but the way I am living is such that I am hardly spending any whilst still living a really rich life full of beautiful experiences. The first week I was here & staying in Auckland I had some big outlays - buying a bus pass, sorting out a NZ SIMcard (for occasional mobile phone use) and of course some booze-fueled fun nights. But now I am in full resourcefulness mode ie. do I reeeally neeed this item here that I am tempted to buy? - No of course not, it is just being SOLD to me by someone who wants me to spend money and convince me that I desire their product (a product which was probably produced by someone who was underpaid whilst using up energy and producing pollution). It is amazing the things that come to you for free or what you can make out of someone else's waste when you are in thrift mode...someone else's leftovers became a gourmet breakfast of toast and tea, for example. Or a load of old washing machines get turned into a water wheel for generating electricity (as is the case for Allen, the WWOOF host I am currently staying with).

The two WWOOF hosts I have so far stayed with are both working towards living completely self-sufficiently. Getting power from the sun or streams, water from the sky and food they grow themselves. Using waste food to feed animals which in turn provide more food, using waste (excrement) to feed the ground from which more food grows. All of which follows the natural path of things working in cycles, the way nature intended. I think it's a beautiful notion and one that more people really should consider, if not as a way of life then at least just THINK about these things. Why should people depend on material things and modern society, owe thousands in debt to whichever bank or credit card or mortgage company , spend their days sitting in front of a computer and their evenings in front of a TV, draining resources from our beautiful planet whilst they become more and more distant from the very thing which sustains us all?

And hey it's not the easiest thing in the world to cast off years of learned materialism and dependency on comforts such as flushing toilets and hot water whenever you want it. You have to give things up that you think you need and it's taking dedication and some serious re-training of the mind for me to do. You have to think more, and take it step by step. But all you have to do is be more aware, pay more attention and realise how healthy and good it is for you to have a happier conscience. That is, of course, if you choose to ACTUALLY think about these things, which I have come to find is unavoidable hence the action I am taking (I say 'you' where obviously what I refer to is MY experience, not sure why it feels more natural to describe in this way). And yes it is not necessarily as 'comfortable' to sleep in a barn and have limited electricity, but for the three weeks that I did so I had no tobacco or alcohol and I swear I only missed them on two occasions.

Said barn was located on a piece of land owned by Anna and Dino, a couple who, when they first bought the land 5 years ago covered in trees and scrub, lived in a tent for a year and a half whilst they implemented their ideas and now have 3 beautiful children, a house they built themselves, various veg, fruit and herbs growing, a load of chickens, goats, bees, and much more in the pipeline. All it's taken has been dedication and positive action. Anyone can do it. Yes, anyone...

If you can imagine it, then anything is possible.

Sitting in front of this computer tonight as I am, I feel that in reality my blog, what I want to explain about what I am trying to achieve, should be something I dedicate more time to and even approach as if I am writing an essay, because I so desperately wish to explain how important these things are to me and my travels and hopefully make people think about these things. Not that I know how many people will actually have the patience to read through these mini essays!!! (please do me a favour and comment if you have done?)

So the point if that it's not just about having fun travelling! It's a very serious project and experience...

Though that's not to say I haven't had heaps of fun and some beautiful experiences. I think I have fallen in love with a dog by the way. I now understand why people have dogs. There is a dog called Rusty who seems to understand me so perfectly. For the first 4 days I was here (the place I am currently staying at) he barked and growled at me from within his fenced area. I looked at him and said to him 'You WILL be friends with me somehow'. And believe me a lot of people would be scared of this dog. That's why the poor thing is chained up. Most people don't understand him. Their fears breed mis-interpreted aggression which is, of course, merely a desire for love and attention from a dog who's not aware of his own strength. So he's chained up because certain humans don't understand him. I know very little about dogs, but I think I can RELATE and that's the main thing. I got Allen to introduce me to Rusty, I approached him with pure love and within minutes he was beginning to understand me, and me him. I proceeded to spend a few hours with this dog, speaking to him about my thoughts as I dug over some soil, cuddling him and lying down with him, and he made me cry about 3 times through sheer force of love and beauty and the incredible way in which he responded to things I said to him - some really powerful emotional connection going on. Impossible to express why/how. But yeh, I'm in love with him.

This is also a journey of the SPIRIT. You know all those questions and pontificating conversations I so love to engage in, the meaning of life, philosophy, psychology, what it's all about? Well so far in my travels here there have been many amazing conversations and so much information has come to me to add to my quest for answers. Discussions about where our planet's at in terms of a collective consciousness, an imminent shift in the overall level of humanity's connection to understanding more than just what we immediately perceive as being reality. But more on that when I have learnt enough to attempt to sum some of it up. For the time being let me just say that I am very excited and feeling very lucky to exist in this stage of the evolution of existence. Some people will understand more than others what I mean by this and to those of you that do, well guys let me tell you it is quite magical how many circumstances have so far presented themselves to me in which I have learnt things I have been wanting to learn. Positive universal change is not too far away my friends and WE are the lucky ones. The faster we all start realising it the better!

POSITIVE is in fact the thought I shall make the last one of my blog for today. Approach everything with a positive outlook and the universe will respond in positive ways. Fear breeds fear. Love breeds love. Simple. Rusty the dog is the perfect example.

So what, if people think I am just a crazy hippy?! I'll leave you with a quote from Bill Hicks...

"Today a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, and we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves".
(more Bill Hicks: http://sazmatazz.users.btopenworld.com)

I love you all
Kat
x

PS. pleeeeease email me with news of what's going on with you!!!!